The number of people can fluctuate between 0~10. But in short, I think these friendships are beautiful, and I cherish them all.

“self comb” 1997

Nana: People who have met, ate and chatted together, or have the same experience, even my friends, of course, friends are also divided into different levels of relationship. They can talk, have the same three views, and have the same Hobbies are more likely to become good friends.

“The Spring of Cow Herding Class” 2004

N: Are your friends growing or losing in general? How did it get lost?

Crazy Ivan: is undoubtedly losing. When I was a student, I had no purpose. We had more emotional exchanges, and we had more time to grow together. If we have common topics, we might have more friends. Once I work, everyone is a tool person, and every day I think about how to prove that I am useful in society. Under this circumstance, it is our duty to discuss matters and not to talk about feelings. It is to save time for the boss. Can you talk about feelings with a screwdriver? This has also led to many old friends being gradually no longer on the same track of life, thus being alienated, and unable to make new friends, and there are fewer and fewer overall friends.

Shredded PorkMary: The number of people at the core level is relatively stable. There is not much loss and not much growth. The third type is the type of friends who meet right on the water, can chat together, and accompany them daily enough to relieve boredom. The fluctuations are relatively large.

“Florida Paradise” 2017

Nana: seems to be losing. There are fewer friends in school, mainly because of the distance in time and space. In addition, different experiences lead to different topics. Most of the friends in the student period may gradually lose contact, but the best friends still keep in touch. .

I personally think that friends only need to worry about each other in their hearts. The number and form of contact are not that important.

“Flower and Alice” 2004

N: Do you believe in workplace friendship? Do you have friends among colleagues?

Crazy Ivan: I still had it before. I used to work in the oil industry. I spent a long time with a group of people on a drilling rig. I had food and drink for ten days and a half. Sadhu is together, and generally a pure male world. Of course, it’s a bit nervous to meet each other at first, but it’s not always working when we live together.lass=”lazyImg” _src=”″ data-w=”1080″ data-h=”583″>

The Wolf of Wall Street 2013

N: Modern social network technology (such as WeChat, Facebook and other social software and Douban, forums, etc. have social Functional platform) Has it changed your outlook on making friends?

Crazy Ivan: People nowadays always feel that they can make friends by writing and writing on the platform, and they are fishing with a big net, and they seem to be able to make a lot. Friends, but I think this is more of an illusion.

Actually, unless you are very famous, few people will be interested in you as a person. Just like I watch Douban, the people above are also tool people for me, and this platform is also a knowledge sharing platform, which has little to do with making friends.

“Black Mirror” Season 3

Ross Marie: There is no change in my view of making friends, but instant messaging has indeed helped me maintain some important friends. Although I don’t meet very often, I can communicate with them at any time.

Nana: Modern social tools are more helpful to maintain the existing shallow relationships. For example, likes and comments can compensate for the sense of distance in space to a certain extent. If you want to communicate in depth, you still need one-to-one chat-of course, this kind of communication also has a problem, that is, it will bring a certain amount of social pressure.

In addition, social media can broaden the scope of making friends, especially for marginalized people, and can help them find support outside the small family. In addition, I also know that some people will find people to talk to, or like-minded friends through social media oriented to common interests.

“Nana” 2005

N: Do you have social fear? What do you think is the reason for your fear?

Crazy Ivan: I am afraid of society. At this stage, once I have no purpose in communicating with others, I feel very panic. Everyone sits and there is nothing to talk about. It’s embarrassing and wastes time. I’m degenerate to the point that I don’t know what to say after chasing the girl, so I have to take others to climb the mountain and climb to the top. Cool? Cool! Then everyone was so tired that they didn’t want to talk, so they were no longer embarrassed. They only remembered the scenery and sore thighs, instead of remembering how wonderful I was talking to myself by myself.

“Modern Love” 2019

Shredded Meat Mary: Not fearful. It’s just that I am not interested in group socializing.

Nana: I personally feel that the fear of socialism is a cause for trouble. As the saying goes, there are less than a thousand cups of wine every confidant, and there are too many words without speculation. In the final analysis, I am afraid of boring chatting. Of course, group socialization is another situation. I think that the occasions with a large number of people are more perform, and you need to be alone to replenish energy after participating in such occasions.

N: Is there a difference between your attitude towards love and friendship?

Crazy Ivan: There is a difference. I think love will go bad and sometimes it will end badly. As long as the friendship doesn’t borrow money, it will be faint when it breaks up. In the future, I can still think about the good time together.

Ross Marie: Friendship is friendship, love is love, so attitudes can’t be the same. In love, if two people are good friends with each other first, it is better not to have love between friends= =

“Summer of Sangli” 2015

Then that: Of course there are, one is exclusive and the other is not, the one who has sex and the other is not. However, the dating culture of modern society makes these two points may be challenged.

Friendship is the foundation of love. What both have in common is that they require long-term investment and mutual maintenance. But love needs more running-in, patience, passion, intimacy and commitment; friendship generally only needs intimacy, not passion, especially common goals and commitments.

“The Elegance of Hedgehog” 2009

N: What do you think is the most test of friendship?

Crazy Ivan: Borrow money. Borrowing money is the valuation of friendship, but when there is a price, it is no longer friendship. Zuo Xiaozu’s curse has been sung: “If you don’t lend money to your friends, you will lose your friends and lose money. If you lend money to your friends, you will lose money and your friends will lose money. If you don’t lend money to your friends, you will lose your friends and lose money. “Losing money and losing friends” is a modern curse.

Because I don’t want to lose friends or money, I choose to download an Alipay, borrow it, or use a credit card. After all, the bank does not treat me as a friend, so I am embarrassed to ask the bank for money.

Ross Marie: Conflicts of interest, rumors and other issues about trust.

Nana: The thing that tests friendship most is subconscious competition.

“Along with Me” 1986

N: Have you ever met a stranger who “though you don’t know, but you feel like a friend”?

Crazy Ivan: I remembered my guide when climbing the mountain. There are no ice cracks on the mountain, whether you are in a good state or when you start to walk, you have to listen to him. This kind of trust is rare in ordinary life. But in fact, everyone is a stranger. You don’t care about him, and he doesn’t care about you. If you reach the top, you will have to give a tip, and you will not contact you later. You are not from the same world at all, and some do not even speak the language. But this is a real turn of life, coupled with hypoxia and beating heart makes me feel like I am friends with him.

Ross Marie: I personally don’t treat people I just met as friends, but I can have a good chat.

Nana: I did have that kind of feeling at first sight.

“Unreachable” 2011

N: With all kinds of online “friends”, do you think we still need friends? In the unique environment of the epidemic and post-epidemic, what is the meaning of friends to us?

Crazy Ivan: Seriously, friends don’t mean much to me. My meaning is more to be a tool man and strive to be a capitalist. If I need to listen, I may be more willing to listen to what my friends Kubrick and Dostoevsky have to say than those around me; if I need to express, then I can express on Douban. Thinking carefully about it, there are really not many friends who are willing to listen to me and I am willing to listen to him. I no longer have the illusion of two-way communication.

I thinkI don’t really need friends at this stage, because besides people, I still have mountains, sweating on the ridges, listening to the wind and what your knees are saying can soothe the soul.

Shredded Pork Mary: Of course you need. Because of the limitations of the interactive category, the trust of online friends can never exceed that of people in real life. The meaning of a friend is stable acceptance. It is when someone listens to you when you want to say nonsense that doesn’t make much sense, or when you don’t want to be accompanied by someone when you do things alone. More importantly, this relationship must be two-way. They are both interested in what each other says and do. When listening and accompanying, they don’t feel irritable, bored or consumed too much. They are active towards each other. Appreciation and caring, even when each other is most gloomy and unbearable, can still get inspiration, growth, love and happiness from this relationship.

“The Elegance of Hedgehog” 2009

Nana: I still need offline friends. In the post-epidemic era, the meaning of friendship is mainly to provide us with different emotional support. Nowadays, the spiritual and emotional support between friends is more important. There may be fewer friends who rely on food, drink and play to maintain, and friendship may return to a level closer to the essence?

This article is from WeChat official account:NOWNESS now (ID: NOWNESS_OFFICIAL