This article is from WeChat official account:NOWNESS now (ID: NOWNESS_OFFICIAL), guests of this issue: Shushu (Master of Urban Studies, media person, swing dance apprentice), Xiao Shao (freelance, playing improvisation), Mandarin Chinese (educator, practicing rope art, pipe Dance, etc.), the original title: “In addition to watching, how can we treat our bodies? “, the head picture comes from: “Scent of a Woman” Stills
The Internet has changed the attitude of human beings towards their bodies. On the one hand, we have more opportunities to show ourselves and judge the bodies of others, and for this reason, we have invented various contemporary ways of viewing the body, such as drafts, live broadcasts, and the “Beauty Body Award”; on the other hand, the Internet is offline The replacement of life, coupled with the maintenance of social distancing since the epidemic period, has also caused contemporary people to suffer “touch deprivation” and become people who “have zero contact with others at all times except for crowding the subway.”
Why do we have a body but never have complete control over it? In the cyber age, do we still have a chance to re-understand ourselves and the bodies of others? What can touch be besides sex? These are just the issues that art schools such as modern dance and body drama have been exploring for the purpose of liberating the body and finding nature.
This round of the table, we invited three young people who have tried physical practices such as improvisation, rope art, swing dance, etc. They will talk with us about body art, as well as their understanding and exploration of the body .
When will our bodies become exclusively for marriage and love?
N:Body contact can be divided into levels. Handshake, face-to-face ceremony, and hug are all ceremonial contacts in many countries, but in many scenes, simple hand touch may contain erotic ambiguities. Physical contact is always strongly associated with sex, and the cultural symbolic meaning of sexThe taste has also put more public opinion and psychological burden on victims of sexual assault.
How do you view these disciplines of society on the body? For you who like dancing/contact improvisation/rope art or body drama, how do you understand physical contact?
Books: Our lives are dominated, or dominated by too much mental training. Since childhood, everyone has lacked knowledge and practice of the body. Nowadays, the highly individualized and atomized society has caused widespread physical and mental loneliness and interpersonal alienation, making physical contact a rare existence in contemporary daily routines, and intensifying people’s physical restraint and anxiety. Like “skin hunger” should be a typical symptom of modern people. Behind this desire is lack.
After vaguely aware of these, I have consciously learned to “return to the body” for the past two years. Compared with fitness, which requires higher personal willpower, the rhythm of dance itself makes people happy, so I tried some dance styles sporadically, including Latin dance, Japanese and Korean jazz, body ballet, contact improvisation, etc., and even pole dance.
Swing dance is my favorite dance. It is a kind of social dance. After a dance, you will dance with different partners in turn, tempting, running in, and establishing a tacit understanding with different bodies. The style and energy you feel when you dance with everyone is different, which is very interesting. Moreover, jazz is about improvisation, and the improvised body expression in swing dance is also the most fascinating part. The dance partners feel and express music together, capture and listen to each other’s physical signals and respond at any time. This is a wonderful dialogue. Being able to catch each other with dance steps is especially pleasantly surprised and a sense of accomplishment.
Swing Kids (1993)
So, after getting acquainted with dancing, especially social dancing, I can probably understand and judge what is good physical communication, and I won’t be bothered. If physical contact brings a psychological burden, thatIt is likely that it is either due to the closed, rigid, and involuntary individual caused by closed social culture, or it is because the initiation of contact is not based on “respect and echo each other”.
The Notebook (2004)
My friend Zhazha launched the Free Hug activity last winter to hug passers-by, and I also participated. Everyone has discovered that in fact, trusting in the body of a stranger is very warm and healing, and it helps to resolve the tension and stiffness that prevail in our body.
In the final analysis, I think we need to practice setting flexible “body boundaries”, keeping principles and boundaries, and being open to embrace the body and mind, and relax. The most important thing is sincerity and calmness.
Funny Face (1957)
Xiao Shao: Some time ago, I went to the club for the first time. I thought that the interactive sessions on the dance floor were all sexually provocative and embarrassed me. But when I arrived at the scene, I found that it was totally different. , Everyone is letting their bodies fly and jumping for joy, it’s embarrassing who doesn’t jump. But in such a crowded and cramped world, I can also be careful so that I hardly come into physical contact with strangers-I found in my mind,It connects people’s physical contact and sex very closely in the nightclub scene, and I don’t want to interact with sexual intentions at the moment, so I especially control myself not to make physical contact.
Singin’ in the Rain (1952)
This is very different from my behavior in contact improvisation activities. With the opening of my body and mind, I will often interact with the body I see for the first time. Regardless of whether it is a man or a woman, as long as it is someone I trust and is interested in, I will use physical contact to actively invite, which is to say hello. It’s normal. Because in the concept of contact improvisation, physical contact is neutral, it’s just the encounter of one body with another, and it doesn’t have sexual connotations. So my body in this field is relaxed and open, and will not be embarrassed or guarded by physical contact.
Step Up (2006)
Body contact itself is just a fact of physical distance, but the intention behind the contact, and the sight of people in the same field of interest, will make the matter of physical contact have different emotional orientations. It becomes nourishing or burdening. Since the matter of physical contact is destined to be trapped by concepts, you can gain freedom by changing your concepts.
Mandarin: I have a lot of perspective changes before and after contact with the rope. This practice has made me discover that physical contact and sex can indeed be separated.
The art of rope bondage made me realize that in the past, many physical contact in our culture had strong boundaries. For example, physical contact between men and women in non-intimacy relationships is not culturally allowed-but many times, I need this kind of contact , But I don’t want this kind of contact to be “sex”, I just hope it’s identification or friendship. I used to feel limited and uncomfortable in this kind of planning and discipline. Fortunately, in the Chinese context, there is no such restriction between very good female friends. I can rely on or hug and lean against each other with female friends, and get energy and healing from it.
For me, rope bondage may not be strongly related to sex and BDSM. It is more like a medium that allows me to establish safe and trusting physical contact. This kind of contact is easier to interact because there is a “rope” as a medium. If you crave physical contact, how do you start? It needs an entrance-the public will think it is related to sex or even violence, but in fact, the bondage has its own history and culture, and there are traditions for people to follow, like a kind of etiquette. In this way, you will not have a burden, and you will be able to enjoy this pure physical contact and find a kind of liberation in it. Everyone pays attention to the exchange of rope art technology, instead of putting physical contact at the center of the communication intention, it is easier.
Is the Internet turning the body into a pure object of viewing?
N: The rise of social networks has further increased the importance of the senses of vision. People pay special attention to the display of the body, whether it is using photo editing software, finding angles and concave shapes, or for fitness Passion and pursuit of beauty, the body has become the most important element of “representing oneself”. Some scholars worry that contemporary people are experiencing “touch deprivation”. People are less and less meeting, and offline hugs have become a part of mobile phones. Hug emoji. How do you think about the cyber-touch of mobile phones and the visualization of the body by social networks?
Books: Regarding the influence of the Internet on physical display, I experienced a bit of struggle when I was in college. On the one hand, I had an “ugly duckling” mentality, and felt that I did not meet the standard aesthetics, and I did not modify it under the lens. My self is even more pale and rough; but I don’t want to be submissive, I don’t want to dress and shape to cater to the mainstream aesthetics, and I feel uncomfortable with the standard processing of the retouching software and feel very fake.
Especially at that time, I was intensively absorbing the knowledge of feminism, which resulted in a sense of fragmentation in the value identity—I love to dress up and care about self-image whether it is “not too feminist”? Why do people desperately show their beautiful and positive image on social networks? How to deal with the relationship with one’s body can be regarded as autonomy and freedom?
Now my mentality is much more liberated, and I have basically gotten rid of the shackles of consumerism, mainly because I have accepted myself, recognized that beauty is diverse, and allowed me to retain my “beauty”. After letting go of your body anxiety, you will really become more open-minded and will connect with others more calmly.
Because online communication cannot touch the limitation of others, I also cherish and enjoy the offline relationship more. A friend of mine is exploring the life of living with a partner. He said, “With friends around, you say good night to each other, instead of two people sending a good night emoticon on their mobile phones. Do you know how wonderful this feeling is?”
In the “Body Visit Program”, Teacher Dai Jinhua said when talking about how to rebuild the real connection in daily life, “Open up as much public space as possible and open up people as much as possible. The space for real encounters with people, as much as possible to preserve the space where those heterogeneous bodies may meet,” it makes people feel grief and encourages everyone.
Xiao Shao: The online life brought about by the Internet seems to have had the opposite effect on me, and I cherish offline interaction even more. More willing to talk and hug someone face to face. It is precisely because the interaction of online visual graphics and text occupies a considerable proportion of life, I have learned how three-dimensional and irreplaceable the contact between physical bodies is in the comparison of experience.
So I am not too worried about the view that “the Internet is turning the body into a pure object of observation”. I think that in human instinct there is a desire to truly touch the same kind. In addition to the visual approach, There are also senses such as hearing, touch, smell, etc. They will attract people to go offline and in front of another person.
Man of Manchu: “The body becomes a pure object of observation” seems to have a value judgment, but I don’t want to discuss this issue too speculatively, I still want to start from the physical experience , Give reflections from other perspectives: In fact, the body is originally an object to be viewed. In many cases, people are constantly spiraling upward while watching, reacting, interacting and giving back to others. Our childhood education—especially as women—may involve accepting and being watched freely.
From a more practical perspective. I very much hope that my person, body and mind can continue to explore and grow together in the interaction with others. I slowly try to choose the people who can watch me, choose my friends, social circle, and work circle. To be liked by oneself, can promote each other, trust each other, shareThe objects of the same exploration are watched by the TA, and they also watch and feedback each other.
In such a relationship, everyone is sincere, and I would be very willing to show myself more. The “quilt” being watched is a part of the relationship, not all, nor is it “reduced to a pure object of observation” , Because the latter may be in a passive position, controlled and unable to refuse.
So “being watched” is not a problem, you have to think about whether people have the right to choose who to watch you. When you cannot choose according to your own preferences, you will feel alienated and controlled-but is it a problem of the Internet or a problem of social structure? This is a different perspective that I hope to provide.
Is it possible to separate intimate touch from sex?
N: Many people are trying to distinguish sex from hugs and caressing behaviors, not just dances and bondage art of physical intimate contact, but also attempts to “desexualize” (only hugging asexual behavior). But physical contact is indeed very easy to awaken sexual desire and impulse. Do you think it is possible to completely separate physical contact from sex? In your experience, how do you balance physical contact and sexual feelings when you dance intimate contact dances/ropes?
Books: Touch may be a temptation, and intimate physical contact may be the starting point for building trust. However, whether intimate touch and sex can be completely separated is not important. After all, the choice of how to use/express/extend the body varies from person to person. But “experiencing and respecting the wishes of others” is clearly the basis.
As for the relationship between body, intimate touch and sex, “The Moral Wanderer” gave me a lot of inspiration and encouragement. The book mentioned that touch is a way to feel the present, connect, and feel love. The author further wrote in the book:
“We believe that the power of lust is everywhere: when we step out of the house on a warm spring morning and take a deep breath to fill our lungs, it is there; when the cold stream splashes on the rocks by the stream, it is there; when When we draw, tell stories, write songs, and write books driven by creativity, it is there; when we have love and tender affection for friends, relatives, and children, it is also… and we find that we know more about sex More, the less you know how to define it.”
I really like the term “sexual energy”. Put “sex21/155152702094.jpg?imageView2/2/w/1000/format/jpg/interlace/1/q/85″ data-w=”1067” data-h=”1536″>
Scent of a Woman (1992)
However, I did hear some partners share that they have had sex-related feelings in contact with impromptu activities. If you feel offended, then leave immediately. If you are awakened, you can naturally observe its development, and gain a new understanding of yourself, which is also a gain. Feelings are still personal after all and can be handled separately. We can all understand our own state and what we need.
Man of Manchu: The rope bondage has a relatively large impact on me. Before I contacted, like many people, I felt that touching was related to sex. Many times you want the two to happen to the same object. Everyone accepts each other completely and sincerely. But after touching the rope, I discovered that pure intimate touch is actually possible, and I can get complete satisfaction inside. There is no need to be directed to “sex”, not a so-called “foreplay”.
How do we treat the body, and what are the ways to open the body
N: On the one hand, many scientific research results have shown that hugging can help stabilize blood pressure and suppress anxiety, reduce heart rate, and make people feel more stable. On the other hand, due to cultural relations, many people are cautious about physical contact. In addition, a person is always in the “gaze of the other” towards his body. Even if he is alone, his body is always in a state of “for people to see”. How do you think you should treat your body, and how do you “open your body”?
Billy Elliot (2000)
Books: My favorite topic for swing dancing is Connection & Musicality, from the connection and fluidity between the lead dancer and the follower (flow), inertia, musicality and other perspectives carefully analyze the technology and art, and help dancers to improve their swing dance. It even made me look at the relationship between people in a new light.
Funny Face (1957)
For example, the communication of body energy is a very subtle point-two people produce different “forces” through the interaction of different parts of the body, such as stretch and compression, and they need to perceive each other’s body signals sharply when dancing together. Achieve a balance of forces and keep the connections between the bodies flowing. My swing dance teacher often emphasizes that, compared to individual skills, the most important thing in a duet dance is the cooperation between the two, that is, whether they are tacit, smooth and comfortable.
As far as this point is concerned, dancing together is actually taking the body as the entrance to establish “intersubjectivity”-in joint action, individual boundaries hide or retreat, forming a “community” that constantly flows, echoes and merges. . Don’t interpersonal communication also work the same way? A good relationship is also wonderful, knowing the language thrown by the other party, cooperating with each other, and developing in harmony.