This article is from WeChat official account:ran dimension (ID: chaintruth)< span class = "text-remarks">, author: Feng Xiaoting, Houyan Ting, Xie Zhongxiu, editor: Zhao Lei, head Figure from: vision China span> p>
After owning the Internet, there are countless stories about online dating.
In 1996, Zhou Hongyi was still an obscure little programmer. He fell in love with Hu Huan, a female colleague who also worked at Founder, but the two were just nodding acquaintances, and Hu Huan had already “famed flowers.” Zhou Hongyi, who frequently visits Shuimu Tsinghua BBS, accidentally discovered Hu Huan’s account at Shuimu Tsinghua BBS, and secretly chatted with her as a netizen. They went back and forth, and the two “came online in love”.
It didn’t take long for Ma Huateng to start his own business and developed OICQ, which later became QQ. In order to attract new users, he hung up on QQ and chatted with people all day long, thus getting to know his future wife.
The anecdotes about the love and marriage of the Internet tycoons are embarrassing. The magic of the Internet’s “thousands of miles of marriage” has also spawned professional social networking sites and dating sites. These products have become the “matchmaker” of the technological age and have contributed to many people. Marriage event.
In 2003, Gong Haiyan, who was still a graduate student at Fudan University, saw that the outstanding high-educated students around her could not find anyone, so she founded Jiayuan with a single thought. More than a decade later, Jiayuan had hundreds of millions of registered users, and the company went on the market, making the “Internet matchmaker” business flourishing.
Being in love and getting married has always been a rigid need for most people, but in the past two decades of the development of the Internet, although social channels have become more abundant and there are more and more choices for marriage and love, it is easy to “get dazzled”, especially young people. A generation has different attitudes towards love and marriage, diverse needs, and increasingly difficult to satisfy. Professional dating websites are often criticized as “expensive and unreliable”.
If you intentionally plant flowers but don’t bloom, unintentionally plant willows and willows make shade. Young men and women who “can’t ask for it” on social apps and marriage and dating websites may “turn around and meet love” in Douban’s groups, in game guilds, in the comment area of Weibo and NetEase Cloud Music, or even in the pulse In the “Professional Words” area and Alipay’s fund discussion area, touching love stories are staged from time to time.
We talked with a few friends about the “wonderful way” they used to find their partner on the Internet. Some of them eventually gained love and entered the marriage palace.There are also terrible plots that end with the coexistence of wonder and absurdity, and the entanglement of reality and imagination, which really confirms the sentence: “The Internet is full of love.”
“Hundreds of years of cultivation have achieved the same boat, and thousands of years of cultivation have been able to sleep together.” Although the Internet has given young people more social channels, it has also multiplied loneliness and made people have a stronger desire to find the same kind, just like Station B Yang Liang, general manager of the market, explained: “The centrifugal force of pursuing individuality and the centripetal force of fear of loneliness are the typical mentality of the new generation of young people.”
Perhaps in essence, Jiayuan is the same as a county dating agency, with a clear purpose and market pricing. But in the broader Internet world, love that happens in unexpected places may better reflect the desires and confusion of modern people.
Finding an object on Douban depends on seriousness and luck
Alan: 29 years old, graphic designer
After graduating in 2014, I went to open a homestay in Lhasa, Tibet, and lived a free and unrestrained life. When I returned to work in Shanghai in 2019, I suddenly felt that I wanted to get married and start a family to stabilize, and I wanted someone to live with me. Unexpectedly, I solved a lifelong event on Douban.
In the beginning, I asked my relatives to help introduce someone, but I found out on blind dates that I had been outside for a long time and couldn’t adapt to the life in the small county. The lifestyle and ideas of the people here were different, so I gave up. This idea.
While visiting Douban, I paid attention to a lot of related topics, such as #douban征友会议#, #我和豆友恋爱了#, there are also many blind date groups, such as “Shanghai blind date group”, “Single dink looking for a partner” “Wait. After I selected, I joined a few groups with a large number of people and high activity.
I posted a friend post on Douban. In order not to waste time, the post contains detailed information about my appearance, family, work, experience, and future life plans that can be determined and imaginable. , I also put a real picture of myself.
Picture / Screenshot of Douban Ran Caijing
At the beginning, I talked about a boy. It felt quite appropriate and very happy, but at that time I was studying abroad and couldn’t meet. When we returned to Shanghai, we met and dated several times, but found that it was not appropriate. After about three months, I ended this short relationship.
Later, I continued to chat privately with many bean friends. This process still requires patience, because seriously looking for someone is not so easy. The boys who chat privately, there will be a lot of weird things, even scammers, through the chat can filter out a wave of people.
My husband replied to my post, but it was nothing special. But I clicked on his Douban homepage, and saw his photo albums, diaries, and favorite movies and books. There were many photos of Australia in the photo albums. It happened that I had been to those places and I felt very familiar with it. He also posted his cappella “Waste” in the diary, and the sound made me like it very much. I shared another song with him in the comment section of that diary, and our fate began.
However, I learned a lesson. Knowing that feeling good online is not necessarily appropriate, I quickly confirmed the offline meeting with him. After meeting, I felt that he was not so handsome, but he was in better shape. The most important thing is that he is mature and sincere, our three views are more consistent, and our expectations for the future are more consistent. After understanding the growth of both parties and all aspects of the family, we found that they were more suitable, and we started a happy life for the two of us.
Now, we have been certified for more than half a year, and our lives are harmonious and there are basically no contradictions. He has studied abroad for many years and has a very independent life. Basically, the housework is all inclusive. Needless to say, he does not need to mention cooking. He even takes care of the little things in life and buying daily necessities. I didn’t know if the cotton pad was used up, he had bought a spare on the road, saving me this life idiot.
The same soul is hidden in the music world
A Ting: 23 years old, doctor
I met him in the comment section of a song on NetEase Cloud Music.
It is a very niche Spanish band. Because the lyrical and minor music style is particularly popular with me, it has been on my list of singers since high school.
When I arrived at the university, I accidentally listened to a certain song, and I opened the comment area and found that he wrote in the comment area: “This song is very suitable for surgery.” When I heard it, I suddenly felt that I found a bosom friend! Because I also like to listen to this song for biological surgery, so I replied: “The hero sees the same thing.”
To be honest, I was a little moved at the time, because his profile picture is also a male celebrity I like very much. So I quietly clicked on his avatar and entered his homepage. Coincidentally, I found that the songs he listened to and his collection of playlists were very similar to mine. So I couldn’t help but bump into the deer.
But I still tried desperately to tell myself, to be calm, this is just a comment on the meeting. Unexpectedly, when I opened NetEase Cloud Music the next day, I saw his reply: “It’s hard to find a friend.” So I was so excited that I was holding my mobile phone and I started to chat with each other.
Later, we added WeChat and discovered that we have more in common. For example, he is also a student, but I just graduated from university, he is already a graduate student, and I am in Guangzhou, he is in Shanghai; for example, in his spare time, he also likes painting and fine arts; for example, he will have a few days after small animal surgery Don’t want to eat meat.
One day, he shared a song with me. It was a very unpopular and very small song in this band. He told me that he is now in the laboratory, doing an experiment of dissecting a bunny: “If you are here and listen to this song together, this night should be very beautiful.”
As I listened to the song, I couldn’t help but imagine the scene, my heart beating faster. So he bought a ticket from Guangzhou to Shanghai. When the next day arrived, my heart had been very nervous and my hands had been shaking. When I reached the gate of his school, I dared to say to him: “I’m here, under the second flower tree in front of the school.” p>
The message was sent, and he immediately received a call: “Where are you? I will be there soon.”
Before I saw him, I was always worried. I was worried that he was different from the photos I saw, different from the people who usually chatted with, and different from the imagination in my mind. But fortunately, the person I saw in front of me was exactly the same as the one who had been on the other side of the Internet for six months. He was neatly cleaned up, and the conversation and laughter were as good as text.
It’s just a pity that we didn’t get to the end due to remote locations, work, etc., but I still remember that there was such a “soul mate”.
Tieba found a like-minded husband
Chun Jiao: 35 years old, freelancer
Although Tieba is now being used by fewer and fewer people, and even I basically don’t publish any content on it, but in 2018, it was Tieba that made me and my husband a marriage.
Before I met my husband, I was an “old leftover woman” over 30 years old. Because I am a freelancer, I like to travel around and prepare to be single for a lifetime. I also like to send postcards to people during my travels, but there are so many places to go. Every time I send them to those friends, it’s a bit boring.
One time, a friend told me that there are some “free postcards” on the post bar, that is, as long as you post free postcards in the post, many netizens will leave their addresses and names, so I put my sights on To the post bar.
I think this approach is very interesting, so I tried to post in the post bar. I received many replies after posting, and I sent the postcards according to the address one by one. Although this will take up some time during the journey, I think the act of sending postcards is very meaningful, and I am very happy as long as I see someone leaving a message, so every time I travel, I will post a “welfare post” of sending postcards for free in the post bar. .
My husband is one of the friends who want to post a postcard, but he is different from most friends. After receiving the postcard in a month or two, he went back to the post bar and looked through many posts and found me. Just say “thank you, the postcard has been received” for a private message. I was a little surprised when I received the reply, because this was a meeting in peace. Even after I sent the postcard, I never responded one by one. The original intention was to not disturb each other, and there would be no intersection.
Before replying to him, I went to his homepage to check and found that many of his concerns were related to travel, and he had posted several travel log posts. I clicked into the post and found that he likes to hike and climb mountains, and he goes to challenging places. After reading it, the first impression of this boy is particularly good.
Next, we passed by in a private message conversationOf travel experience started chatting, and chatted very happily. Especially after learning that I also like traveling very much, he also sent me a travel invitation. Considering that I am in Beijing and he is in Shanghai, we have set the travel location in Mohe, and the time has been set on Christmas Eve.
To go to Mohe, we must first gather in Harbin and take a train from Harbin to Mohe. It is not an exaggeration to say that I met him at the same time, and there was no gap between them, and we had a happier conversation. After the trip to Mohe, he moved his studio from Shanghai to Beijing. Naturally, we started to talk about love and finally got married.
I originally wanted to take a job, but I didn’t expect to leave the order
Afei: 28 years old, producer
In the middle of 2018, I resigned from the company where I was working because of a discord with the team leader.
At that time, I just felt very tired and wanted to rest for a while, so I entered a state of joblessness. One day, a friend who was playing music with me urged me to say that they had formed a guild in Litchi FM and asked me if I was interested in becoming an anchor.
I thought about it and agreed anyway.
When I was an anchor, it was not as glamorous as everyone thought. Because our guild had just been formed at the time and there were not many audiences, I played and sang myself most of the time. And most of the live broadcasts are in the evening, and when there is no audience at night, this feeling of loneliness is even worse. But there is also a bit of romance, because in the dead of night, singing your favorite songs can be regarded as expressing.
Until one day, I found that a listener would always appear in the live broadcast room. Occasionally he would say a few words to me, such as “This song the anchor sang today is so sad, is there something on my mind” “I heard this song in XX before, and I also like it very much”, and occasionally order a song , Or give me a gift.
Whenever she is there, my sense of gain will be very strong, because someone is listening to me singing, someone is with me at the moment, someone is following me and caring about me.
Later, there were more chats like this, and we became familiar with it. But the work of the anchor is not a long-term solution. After half a year, I found a job again and had no time to broadcast live, so I simply quit my job in the guild.
The first weekend I didn’t show up in the live broadcast room, she found me and asked me, “Aren’t you going live?” I saw her private message late after work that day, and said, “Yes, I have started to work, and the time is not enough.” After replying to this sentence, I paused and said one more sentence: “You can add me to WeChat, and I will sing for you by myself.”
After posting this sentence, I was a little nervous, because I still had expectations in my heart. Throughout the night, I watched whether there was any red dot for adding friends on WeChat. After a long time, at about one o’clock in the morning, I finally received her friend request.
What happened later was a matter of course. We listened to songs, sang, and shared our thoughts. Up to now, we have been together for more than two years.
Alipay Fund discussion area joins in the fun, netizens become girlfriends
Blog post: 30 years old, advertising planning
To be honest, before the topic of “Alipay blind date” hit the hot search in February this year, I didn’t even know that Alipay’s fund had a discussion forum. But after seeing this message, I also had a whim, and posted a “marriage post” in the fund discussion area.
Before posting the marriage proposal in the discussion forum, I also deliberately watched the content posted by other users, and I found a pattern that most people would bring the sentence “please take away” at the end of the article. I also posted a piece of content in the discussion area based on the gourd painting, “91 male, 175cm, coordinates Guangzhou, hometown Dongguan has a car and house, please take the girl on Line 3 away.”
After I posted it, I went to work and didn’t pay attention anymore. When I took the subway to go home in the evening, I opened Alipay and found several new messages. Some asked about my occupation, and a few replies indicated my age and Of course, there is one person who came up and said, “I’m in Guangzhou with Dongguan, and I have time to meet.” But what interests me most is a comment, “The height of 175cm is only 172, so my little brother is hydrated.” “
Then I went back to the other person in the comment area. I forgot what I did. I just remembered that she responded quickly. We both let the flow go and talked about it in the comment area.Here, I talked a lot from academic qualifications to annual salary to work.
But obviously, the Alipay Fund Forum is still a platform for wealth management services, and its social functions are not perfect. When I tried to add this netizen as my friend, I couldn’t find the add button, I could only follow it, and I couldn’t chat privately after I followed it. Finally, I commented back, “We had a great chat, would you like to make friends?” My WeChat account was also attached at the end.
After a while, my phone popped up to prompt “XX Request to add you as a friend”. I am happy to think that my WeChat account and chat content will be seen by many people. In consideration of privacy protection, I deleted this “Friends Post”. After deleting the post, I quickly returned to WeChat, applied through a friend, and transferred to the battlefield. I came to WeChat from the discussion area.
Like young QQ online dating, we talked for a long time that night, and of course we made an appointment the next day. “I am also idle to read the marriage proposal, but as soon as you say Line 3, I am interested, because my company and residence are both on Line 3, the distance may not be far, if appropriate, be a friend It’s also not bad.” This sentence was told by my girlfriend afterwards. Yes, we confirmed the relationship soon after meeting offline, because everyone was able to chat and it was so fateful. We all think this paragraph. Feelings should be cherished.
The Onmyoji guild met and broke up with a bloody plot
Ajie: 29 years old, channel manager
In 2017, Onmyoji was very popular. I played this game almost every day and teamed up with many unfamiliar netizens to upgrade. There are guilds in the game, and netizens from all over the country gather together. In addition to playing games, they will also chat and face-to-face.
My ex and I met through the Onmyoji Association. Once, when Shui Qun suddenly discovered that he was also from Kunshan, very close. I chatted with him privately, made an appointment to play games together, and gradually got acquainted with him.
We often form a team together, combine enchantment cards, dig out snake nests, and travel around peaceful Beijing. The process of getting along is very crooked. Onmyoji has a message board function. We will leave messages to each other. In the end, my message boards are all his messages, and I deleted all the others.
Picture / Onmyoji mobile game
When I first met, I was still working in Shanghai and did not go home. Playing games, chatting on WeChat, and dating online for about 4 months, I went back to Kunshan and met him when I was on holiday. Everything is fine, I feel that he is a good person, and we start to get along like a normal couple.
However, the good times will not last long. About half a month after the meeting, one day, he told me that he had something to go to Shanghai, and I didn’t think much about it. Coincidentally, on the day he went, I saw another person in the Onmyoji Association saying that she would also go to Shanghai. The dog-blood issue came. A netizen in the guild chatted with me privately and said, “Your partner went to Shanghai to play with her.”
I was so shocked, I went to question him. He told me that it turned out that the other party was also the ex he made in the game, but he broke up before being with me. He said that it was because he had promised to go to Shanghai with the other party, “I just came to fulfill my promise and nothing happened.”
I was very angry and had a fight with him. Just when I was ready to go back to work in Shanghai, I told him to meet and chat. What’s more bloody is that he even took his ex to pick me up at the airport. The funny thing is that his ex came to add me as a friend, and I told him about it, and the other party said that she didn’t know that my ex was in love. It turned out that he was concealing it from both sides…
As a result, we broke up because I cannot accept being deceived. For me, as long as there is nothing out of bounds, I usually don’t care, but I can’t bear to be insincere.
Now I feel that online dating is unreal and will not end well. There is really a big difference between two people chatting online and getting along in real life.
I thought I met true love on Weibo, but I didn’t expect to just use me
Ben: 29 years old, a postgraduate student
I think I am a “good son.” Since I was little, I have followed my parents’ arrangements. Whether it’s a college entrance examination or my current master’s and PhD career, it’s the choice my parents gave me. In recent years, they have alsoI started to care about my marriage. As long as I was at home on vacation, they would arrange a blind date for me.
My parents think I am a “quality man”, but obviously, my blind date has different opinions on me. I am very repulsive of blind dates. The two of them sat face to face with no topic and were embarrassed. I was most afraid that the blind date would come up and ask me, “Do you have a car? Do you have a house? Why are you still studying at this age?”
After going through a few blind dates, I was a little bit resistant to this form. The introduced blind date does not match my personality and three views. I feel that love is a matter of course, and should not be rushed. Having said that, I didn’t expect that after a few days of chatting with people on the Internet, I quickly confirmed the relationship.
The cause of this incident was that a blogger I followed posted a friend post. First of all, the content of this blogger’s daily updates is very relevant to our master and blog life, and many of the fan groups he follows are in graduate school. The blogger will regularly publish off-list topics, and the content will be accompanied by specific information about the contributors who are willing to call for friends, such as basic information, self-introduction, call for friends, and photos, all provided by the contributors.
After several failed blind dates, I also tried to post to the blogger, and I sent it out. After sending it out, I have been paying attention to the replies of the netizens in the comment area and the private messages to me. I am still very nervous when I meet netizens who come to say hello, but basically after a few chats, there is no more text, even WeChat friends will not add .
But there is one exception. A netizen came up to praise me for being cute and said that I like cooking, “What a good man”. I chatted with her on Weibo private messages for a long time, and finally I added WeChat friends because it was not easy to “fight pictures” because there was no emoji package.
We are chatting every day, and she will share with me a lot of her life dynamics. She is an undergraduate, and I belong to the same engineering major, so she often asks me many questions about study, and I answer them one by one. We talked for a long time every day, and we even called each other “baby”. I gave her a lot of gifts, and she also liked it.
I thought I had gained love, and I was responsive to her problems every day. Even when she was preparing for her graduation project, I used Simulink to help her build a simulation model. No one thought that after she submitted her graduation design, she started to not reply to my information. I called her many times, but she had no excuses and asked me not to bother her soon.
At this point, I realized that she was just looking for someone to help with her homework, not for someone.
(Alan, Ating, Chunjiao, Afei, Ajie, Bowen, and Ben in the text are all pseudonyms)
This article is from WeChat official account:ran dimension (ID: chaintruth)< span class = "text-remarks">, author: Feng Xiaoting, Houyan Ting, Xie Zhongxiu, editor: Zhao Lei span> p>