Many summer vacations, I met a “special” visitor.
The reason for saying “special” is because the visitor is different from other people. Generally speaking, the appointment with me is a party, but this offline consultation is the visitor’s mother. .
“Liao Li teacher, look at your public number for many years, have been very trusting you, this is to ask you for help, I hope you can open my solution to solve my daughter, otherwise I am really afraid she can not open it….. .”
Received such a help message, the assistant girl felt that things were not normal, and immediately reported to me.
I calmed the mother and told her that I still need your daughter’s consent and it might be better to ask her to come and consult.
The mother communicated with her daughter that night. After reading a series of articles, the mother told me that her daughter was willing to come to the studio for consultation.
Considering that things may be more urgent, I temporarily vacated for a while to receive the young girl.
When the girl appeared in front of my eyes, I spent a few seconds, she reminded me of a person.
Chopin.
2
Fashionable black straight long hair, white skin, thin face, a pair of spiritual eyes, long fingers…
I told the girl that I saw her first impression, and she thought she should be engaged in art.
The girl was obviously touched by a touch. The hands that had been held together by tension were gradually spread out, and I shouted.
In order to facilitate the following description, and also consider the privacy of the consultant, we will call the girl “潇潇” for the time being.
潇潇 Tell me that in her childhood, she did have a dream related to art, but not playing the piano, but dancing.
According to the narrative, she especially liked to dance when she was a child. She also went to the Children’s Palace to learn dance for a while. The teacher praised her.Let her lead the dance in large and small performances.
As the coursework gradually worsened, the parents of the parents felt that the dance was delayed, and they set a career direction for the aunt. After all, the father of the aunt had some personal connections. As long as the daughter “cooperated”, it was still a good job to find a good job. Under.
Therefore, the couple together interrupted the daughter’s dance and let her daughter study and prepare for the exam.
Because of his poor mathematics and physical and chemical achievements, his parents specially invited a teacher to help him at home. The teacher also said that he was very smart, and probably just didn’t use the right method.
Under the guidance of this teacher, it took more than two years to complete the mathematics and other subjects to the middle class.
Afterwards, as a parent wants to get a financial major from a university, after graduation, under the arrangement of his father, he is doing a “smart” job in the eyes of outsiders.
In less than a year of working, her mental state is getting worse and worse, her temper is getting more and more violent, and a little bit of something may make her violent.
Hey parents think that it is not a daughter who is too lonely, so I let my blind date, I did not expect to refuse.
In this way, the working condition is sluggish, and when you return home, you never go out to socialize and do nothing to raise your spirits. From time to time, there is a saying that “live is boring”…….
I value my daughter’s day and day, and her mother thought that things might not be that simple, so she asked her daughter to make an appointment.
3
The case of 潇潇 is the essence: premature deprivation of life choices, which led to a series of maladaptive problems.
As the saying goes, heart disease is also a matter of medicine.
To cure such problems, you must start with the “right to choose.”
I told you that everyone’s life can go according to their own wishes, and the so-called success is not like the mainstream values advocated, must climb to how high.
I told you that everyone’s life can’t be everything, and that both gains and losses are mutual. The key question is whether the efforts you have made today and the hard work can lead you to the life you want. It is the most critical.
I and I said an important concept, four careers.
The so-called “career four degrees” means that each person’s life has its own unique value.
The pursuit of a high degree of life is advocated by mainstream values, represented by money and status;
The pursuit of deep life refers to intensive cultivation in a certain field. Although it is uncertain whether it can achieve amazing achievements, doing this can itself bring great satisfaction to yourself;
The pursuit of breadth and continually establishes links with others, the whole state of life is open, and the inner pleasure is achieved by helping people achieve their goals of self-growth and satisfaction;
The pursuit of temperature is represented by free health and hobbies. These people have an infinite passion for life and can enjoy joy and fun from small things…
Any dimension that wants to achieve a satisfactory state must be exchanged for other dimensions. This is the truth that life is not perfect.
For example, entrepreneurs are highly representative of life, but because they work hard all the year round, there are shortcomings in family relationships, so their success is at the expense of width;
Some people have not achieved outstanding achievements or status, but family has their own hobbies. Although there is a lack of height, the width and temperature are highly lacking in life…
The reason why most of us are anxious is that we have the highest value of our pursuit of height as our life, thus ignoring our original truth.
4
I shared a real story with you.
In the early years, when I was studying psychology, I actually took the purpose of self-healing, because at that time, when I found out that I might be financially talented and unable to do top-notch, I was once stunned. God hurts and is disappointed with himself.
In that context, I enrolled in psychology.
One day, a teacher I admire suddenly said with emotion when he was teaching:
“The root cause of many mental illnesses of modern people stems from the unwillingness to admit their ordinary and ordinary. In fact, most of us are ordinary people. Since we are ordinary people, we should accept our strengths and Short board, and consciously promote strengths and avoid weaknesses, it is good to live a life that makes you comfortable. Isn’t it?”
This teacher is a psychology major. After graduation, she came to a business unit and did a job that many people can do. She is very unhappy.
One thing in one pile, coupled with her deep psychological foundation and self-awareness, she gradually understood the root of her unhappiness, that is, she seems to have lived in the expectations of others over the years. Never realized herself.
What kind of person is this teacher?
Patience, love, and doing things may not be as efficient and empathetic…
Know that her traits are not easy to do in the public institutions. Is it the courage to continue to make the so-called stability, or to find their own life?
The teacher chose the latter.
After she communicated with her parents, she rented a room to work as a studio. After ten years of hard work, she became a qualified psychological counseling and training institution.
According to the teacher’s words, when she realized her ordinaryity and limitations, she felt a lot easier and slowly walked to today.
“Yes, since I am ordinary, why not let me go?”
In the following period, I kept reminiscent of the teacher’s words, and gradually dispelled the idea that I wanted to be a “financial elite.”
5
Yes, when we were young, we used to be compared with other children by adults. Sometimes our inner self-esteem and euphoria are the inner driving force that motivates us for many years. Maybe when we feel that we are not When we recognize and accept, we are eager to make some great things to prove that we can be recognized and accepted.
But sometimes IWe must face up to a real problem, that is, no matter how hard you try, in the end, you can only do nothing.
These things include: the occupation you are doing does not match your traits, what you do doesn’t work for your strengths, but you need to continually succumb to your shortcomings. Everything you do today can’t Guide the life you want…
If this is the case, why don’t we shake hands with ourselves?
Want to know what happened later?
According to 潇潇’s feedback, after the consultation, she felt a lot easier, as if a huge stone on her chest was removed. She decided to quit her job that she didn’t love or do well, giving herself half a year. Learn dance or yoga and move towards a dance or yoga teacher.
Before leaving, I made a request and she hoped that I could call her mother once.
I promised.
The call of more than 40 minutes made the phone’s mother feel a lot of emotions. She said that her focus on her daughter has been on her daughter for so many years. She is too tired. She also wants to live easily. Do something you like.
More than a year has passed, and nowadays he became a substitute teacher at a yoga studio.
At this point, I would like to say a few words to thousands of mothers who are jealous and jealous –
Ordinary is not terrible, accepting it calmly, not compromising, but accepting that true self, shaking hands with his ordinary; talking about being a little person is not bad, doing what he can, feeling good in life, Isn’t it another perfection?