No matter what position you are in, excellent communication skills can make you stand out
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Editor’s note: When communicating, a technical job, how to properly express your opinions and promote contact with the other party is not as simple as we think. The 10 tips provided in the article may help you in your life and work. This article is translated from medium, article author Dave Bailey, original title 10 Communication Patterns Used by Great Leaders.
Image source: Luan Cabral / Unsplash
Let others follow themselves, deal with difficult situations, and clearly express their thoughts. These skills may take a lifetime to master.
Communication and communication is much more than just “choosing the right words and saying them out”. It also includes understanding your audience, actively listening to others’ ideas, and being able to resonate with others. It also requires good guiding skills, the ability to control body language, and a lot of intuition. But obviously, it is also very important to make sentences.
In the past 10 years, as a leader, I have been collecting techniques that will enable me to communicate more effectively. Here are some of the most useful methods I found:
1. To be convinced, say “why” first
Imagine that you are showing an important decision to your team. One way is to simply state your decision and then explain why you are doing this. However, at the moment after you state your decision, your team members will make an intuitive judgment and think about whether the decision is good or bad. If they don’t like your decision, your explanation sounds like an excuse.
Invert the order of the information output and use the reasons that prompt you to make decisions to guide the team members, so that you can lead the audience on a journey of speculation. In this journey, your answer is A logical conclusion.
2. Win the hearts of the people, both to show the vulnerability and to show the vision
Have you ever met someone who has an answer to everything? Ok, this kind of person may know everything, but everything is just knowingA little bit – especially if you are a leader for a long time. So what should you do when the team seeks directions and guidance from you?
Showing both vulnerability and foresight is a magical combination of punches. Behaving weakly—recognizing that you don’t know all the answers, or admitting that you are sometimes scared—can establish a connection with team members. Then, your vision can also provide direction for the team.
3. Use the “non-violent communication” mode when requesting
Giving feedback and asking for a challenge in a difficult environment is a challenge for everyone. One of the reasons for the challenge is that it is difficult for us to know what other people will react to. Fortunately, Marshall Rosenburg’s book “Nonviolent Communication” (NVC) has a powerful template to help you with feedback:
When…(situation), I feel… (emotion), because I need some… (your needs), can you… (your request)?
But I have to remind you that it actually works much harder than it seems, in part because we haven’t learned too much about emotions and needs in school.
4. When you explain your point of view, try to control within 40 words
When we need to state some of the more complex ideas, many people tend to talk too much. We may emphasize that we have to say so much to feel sorry, or a lot of reasons to let people understand our original intentions.
However, after hearing such things, people usually need some time to think – because you are talking, it does not mean that they are listening. Anything can be summarized in no more than 40 words. Take some time to prepare, so you can go straight to the topic, then stop talking as soon as possible, leaving time for everyone to think.
5. To enhance understanding, you can tell a little story
The stories are so powerful because they touch our emotions in ways that dry facts often cannot. Knowing how to tell stories has become an indispensable tool for leaders.
A good story doesn’t have to be as long as two hours. It only requires a little preparation and a plot that resonates with people.
6. Request permission in advance
Let people follow your thoughts with a very simple but very powerful technique – get their consent.
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If we deviate from the issue, can I interrupt you?
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Can I give you some feedback?
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Can I make some adjustments to the scope?
The solicitation of permission is a kind of respect and gives others a sense of control. When leaders ask for permission, people are often willing to push the boat, which may make people feel wary.
7. Help team members grow by asking questions
Every leader knows how tempting it is to solve problems for others. However, if you help to work for those who should work for you, how can they grow?
Excellent leaders can control themselves and substitute questions by asking questions. Asking a good question requires practice. A good question should be an open, simple question, usually beginning with “what” or “how.”
8. Encourage new ideas and use more “Yes, and…”
The ability to brainstorm is a useful skill for any leader. However, nothing beats creativity more than “but…”.
My father used to say something, ‘but’ was not useful.
——Jon Snow
“Yes, and…” is a more useful technique. By accepting an idea and adding more information, you can encourage others to continue to divergent thinking on this basis. I have met a lot of people who have completely removed the word “but” from their daily expression, thinking that this will make their way of thinking better.
9. To convince others, you must have empathy first
I learned this from a sales course on how to handle objections. When you try to sell your product or idea to someone else, someone else may tell you a bunch of defects in the product or idea. At this time, how do you respond?
Trying to convince opponents that they are wrong is the worst way. However, before refuting their thoughts, first expressing that they understand their feelings can increase their chances of listening.
I know how you feel. I feel the same, and I find… (the evidence used to change the other’s thoughts).
10. Listen more, preferably the last one says
Leaders are often very creative and their ideas are endless. However, using your position to present your ideas first will deprive your team members of the opportunity to come up with ideas.
In debates or group decisions, it is often beneficial to listen to others before you agree with yourself. By first listening to different opinions and suggestions, you will gain an information advantage and an opportunity to recognize your team. More importantly, if people feel that their thoughts are being listened to, they are more willing to listen to your thoughts.
Although I found these techniques to be very common, they are just a few of the thousands of effective ways to communicate. Like all of us, I am still learning.
Translator: Xitang