Lay off, so easy!
Editor’s note: This article is from the WeChat public account “Frightening brain” (ID: imyourgrandpa) , the author is scared.
Redundancies are also a science, can be described as profound and profound!
Here are several ways to lay off employees at Internet companies:
1
35 years old + Reasons not to renew:
Millennials are more connected.
After 95 Reasons for not passing the trial period:
Married and educated employees are more responsible.
2
Notice that we will have a hard time next,
Let some employees who are unwilling to share the hardships leave by themselves,
Distinguish employees by “brother” and “non-brother”.
3
Force 996. If employees ca n’t balance work and family,
You can choose between divorce or divorce.
4
No work is assigned, but a thousand-word work daily must be submitted before work.
5
Do not give work + blaming employees for not doing work.
Instigate a colleague who is overworked to discuss you behind your back.
6
Transfer to a new post, no one teaches, is uncomfortable, can’t keep up with the rhythm,
As a result of unsatisfactory performance, he was fired.
7
Eight-hour work-say 8 hours,
One minute and one second are not counted as 8 hours (but can be more).
No attendance, no punch card, pinhole camera supervisor, calculate working hours
If you click the pop-up window, you can also touch the fish, and you can easily cancel the labor contract.
8
Employees have urgent matters at home and do not approve leave.
Forcible leave is counted as absenteeism. After three days, he is dismissed without compensation.
9
Re-examine academic qualifications, experience, and qualifications, and take the opportunity to fire employees,
With its “fraud”, the labor contract is invalidated and the labor relationship is terminated.
10
Unemployment layoffs , interviews at 15:00, clean up at 15:10.
11
Midnight in the work group @ Everyone, report within 5 minutes,
Whether you sleep or bath.
12
Develop a WeChat “ Feedback within 5 minutes ” system.
13
A nominal “pay raise” is held every year,
50% cannot pass the salary increase assessment and maintain the original salary; 50% salary increase is 1%.
14
For programmers / video / graphics workers,
4G memory equipped with I3 processor ps2014,
Set network permissions so that they cannot work properly.
15
The router has a speed limit of 100kb / s.
16
For those who leave positively, the top ones have generous rewards, first come first served.
The rewards of enrollees will decrease in order after ordering.
17
The company’s temporary notice has been moved to Xinjiang Shihezi Branch,
Employees must report to the frontier at their own expense , and overdue is deemed to leave.
18
Join the High Math Test in the assessment,
All employees participate, and HR grades will be awarded. Those who fail will be regarded as underachievers.
19
N + 1 compensation will be provided for resignation before the required date (the next day),
Overdue invalid.
20
[Beginner] Count the reading amount into the assessment and ask all employees to forward the circle of friends.
[Advanced] All members are required to use the company’s unified custom avatar.
[Ultimate] requires uniforms.
21
“Bazi is not in harmony with the company, but it is not in harmony with the company. The gas field is not consistent with the company.”
22
Unconditionally dismiss employees whose “values” do not match.
(* Note: I will pay close attention to your social media and understand your evaluation and opinion of current events.)
23
Retract your computer, remove access, delete files.
24
In the name of strategic adjustment, the entire business unit will be used in one end .
25
It is required to work overtime on weekends, but it is not allowed to turn on air conditioning or heating at their own expense.
(Same use of toilet paper)
26
No lunch break-
I found you lying on the table at noon and woke you up with a punch.
27
Limit the time to use the toilet, and strictly guard against “ paid shit “.
28
Play as Knowing Sister , and encourage employees to make career choices again,
Oral promises Change department / job support.
Exaggerated meal, recognizing your personal value-
Then ask to write a new resume for you .
30
Learn from school teachers ——
Encourage peer review (anonymity) between colleagues and read it in public.
Learn from school teachers ——
Personal humiliation at group meetings.
Learn from school teachers ——
Move the employee’s workstation to the entrance to the toilet.
31
“Okay, when you go to the next company to do a background check, I will talk to her ~~~”
32
Both hard and soft Combined boxing ——
There is rumor splashing dirty water.
Intentionally soft soothing during a crash:
“ I also work part-time, don’t be hard-working. ”
33
Learn from negotiators- Mobilize your family to persuade .
34
Be friends with employees