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The article is from the public number: GQ report (ID: GQREPORT) , author: Shini, from the title figure: vision China.

It’s been a restless week. On Monday, beauty blogger Yuya sued her boyfriend for domestic violence. The next day, actor Jiang Jinfu, who had a history of domestic violence, was accused of domestic violence by his current girlfriend. Recently, offThere have been many discussions of domestic violence, most of which focus on the victim’s perspective to identify the reasons why the victim is difficult to escape. In this article, we hope to set our sights on domestic violence, the source of this tragedy.

There is a widely disseminated phrase, “Domestic violence is only 0 and countless times”, and it is often used to remind women not to take chances on male violence. In fact, in this expression, there is an irresponsible opposition and division, which completely divides people into two camps: “domestic violence men” and “domestic violence men.

In fact, many of us have a potential domestic violence looming next to us. But whether it will be stimulated, there are many accidental factors. Domestic violence, as a behavioral tendency, is not an adult personality, but often one of the behaviors that a certain personality (or the overlap of certain personality types) may produce under the stimulation of some internal and external environments.

To this end, we have prepared an incomplete “Guide to Domestic Violence” for women.

Why do many domestic abusers wear “angel” faces?

“He on the social networking site is beautiful, kind and bright. In real life, he repeatedly committed domestic violence against me and slandered him.” (Hereinafter referred to as 沱 沱) The description of him during domestic violence is also one of the most common descriptions of domestic violence victims by domestic violence victims.

On the next day after Uya ’s Weibo voice, entertainer Jiang Jinfu was once again exposed to domestic violence by Julieta, Uruguay’s current girlfriend. At this point, it is only a year before he “repented” crying on the Internet last year.

At that time, a number of celebrities, including Hu Ge, supported Jiang Jinfu by writing, and used a lot of words such as “kindness”, “justice” and “eternal bright boy”. However, from the mouth of Jiang Jinfu’s current Uruguayan girlfriend Julieta, we once again heard another version of the story-Jiang Jinfu is a man of control, violence and jealousy. When getting along, Jiang Jinfu not only took full control of her social and economic life, prevented her from meeting her friends normally, but also threatened her with death while beating her.

In fact, the repeated state of personality between the two extremes, such as Jiang Jinfu’s and Xun’s personality, is a common personality characteristic of “domestic violence men” . The discernible fog brought by this polarization of personality is a reason for the victims to constantly recognize each other and constantly generate fantasies about each other during the domestic violence incident, delaying self-rescue, and mud foot sinking. .

There are many reasons that make it difficult for a woman to break free, such as:

• The brainwashing of the abuser ’s logic allows the abuser to be constantly affected by the abuser, Even the position is loose.

  • The long-term personality was suppressed, and the status of both sides was polarized, which made it difficult for the victims to refute.

    • The abuser regrets the fragility and innocence often manifested, and uses the pity of women’s mercy , Carry out emotional abduction, bind the victim to himself.

      • Domestic violence is uncompromisingly coercive, and it is When the deterrent effect is reached, it is psychologically difficult to force the other party to deviate …

        Untangling this layer of character fog is necessary. We need to understand the nature of the perpetrators of the perpetrators, from which the ability to discern discrimination is induced, and then we can make rational judgments and even identify them in time. This incident is actually an opportunity for us to realize the importance of maintaining mental health and better protect others or ourselves.

        As a psychological counseling practitioner, I want to start from my own perspective, combining the recent domestic violence incidents with the pastIn some cases, I systematically talked about the issue of domestic violence, and talked about a series of reasons behind the formation of domestic violence men.

        A case study of 沱 沱
        

        If you want to see big things from small to large, we can try to do some simple psychological analysis based on your case:

        According to a person familiar with the matter, the uncle’s native family is not happy. His parental relationship was very poor, and when he was very young, he began to see his father beat his mother.

        In an article published on his public account entitled “In the World. Fireworks and Gases-At the End of All Blood and Tears”, I recalled the scene of his father ’s domestic violence when he was a child: he rebuked his father as a “devil” , Tells how his mother showed him the blood coat, how his father chased his mother on the street, and even tore her clothes.

        Later, as we can see, he repeated the scene, violently beating the woman and tearing her clothes.

        The shadow of childhood domestic violence has a huge impact on its soul: hatred is cultivated from an early age, and incompetence and deprivation of love are permanently stuck in the body.

        沱 沱 is expecting love. He once said at a new book sharing meeting, “People’s sense of security needs to hold on to many things, but they can’t catch them.” This is a desire for love. The impact of family shadows