Carefully sort out your past, maybe we will find such a rule

Editor’s Note: This article comes from WeChat public account Li language professional beauty (ID: crystal_words), author Zhao Xiaoli .

I have been exposed to a large number of consulting cases since I was doing career consulting. Some of these cases have a high degree of overlap: the parties have similar growth environments, similar career starting points, and similar dilemmas, but the same analysis It is not the same as the proposal to make them make different choices, which leads to a gradual gap in the career trail behind them.

Consultants Xiaofang (pseudonym) and Yuanyuan (pseudonym) are two cases of consultants with a high degree of overlap.

Xiao Fang and Yuan Yuan have amazingly similar educational backgrounds and professional backgrounds: they both graduated from three colleges and both majored in accounting; both had similar personalities and were cheerful and cheerful; they were not sensitive to numbers Instead, they are more sensitive to images such as text and graphics; the growth environment of the two people is also similar, both are children from the countryside, their parental relationships are good, and their affairs are basically delegated to them.

Both of them consulted with me before graduating, and the appeals are the same, that is, finding a career position that suits them.

The occupational crisis of most people is hidden in the choice of 20s

The career advice I gave is very similar, that is, I suggest that they find jobs that deal with people, and try to avoid transactional jobs, especially accounting, because I have found through communication with them that although they can do Basic accounting work, but because of the characteristics of thinking and its own characteristics, it is very difficult to reach the top, and it is easy to encounter professional bottlenecks.

I sent them the analysis process, reasons, and suggestions. More than two years later, when we visited the two girls again, we gradually discovered some obvious gaps.

What really determines a person’s value is the choice of a critical moment

Xiao Fang seriously considered my suggestions after consulting. She also felt that she was more enthusiastic in advancing things and preferred to deal with people, so she resolutely gave up her accounting profession, despite the difficulties in starting job hunting. But in the end I went to a companyjobs.

After the consultation, Yuanyuan found that it was better to find a job in her specialty. At the same time, with the persuasion of her family and friends, she decided to “stand in the real world”. Instead of choosing my advice, she went to a relative to introduce Company started accounting work.

The occupational crisis of most people is hidden in the choice of 20s

Over two years have passed and Xiaofang has grown very quickly. She told us that she has started to lead people. In addition, with the expansion of the company’s scale, the leader also intentionally promoted her to be in charge of the operation department and become a department. Supervisor, meanwhile, because Xiaofang is very skilled in working with external contacts, and gradually has resources, she helps some companies matchmaking in her spare time, is responsible for arranging some activities, and has become an “event planning consultant” for these companies, and There is also a corresponding remuneration.

Xiao Fang does not feel any anxiety about the future. She feels that according to her current capabilities and resources, even if this company fails in the future, she has more options and opportunities.

At 25, her income is undoubtedly among the peers of the same age: she is very satisfied with her career and can feel a sense of accomplishment. At the same time, she is quite confident in her strength.

We have reason to believe that, according to Xiaofang’s current capabilities and status, even after ten or two decades, it is unlikely that he will encounter the so-called “career crisis”.

The occupational crisis of most people is hidden in the choice of 20s

Yuanyuan’s situation in the past two years can be described by the word “bad heart”.

It turned out that Yuanyuan did n’t like the accounting industry at all. Every day, she was suffering from the data. She had no concept of the numbers at all. Looking at the data, she was in a daze. At first, due to the relationship between relatives, the leader intentionally Cultivate her to do cost accounting. Later, Yuan Yuan’s performance disappointed the leader and asked her to do the job: as long as she did not pay the wrong payment, she would not make any demands or expectations on her.

Yuanyuan’s job does not have any sense of existence. Even this frustration has repeatedly frustrated her self-confidence, and she feels that she is useless and is unable to extricate herself in the cycle of “self-denial.”

In fact, YuanyuanShe had listened to the suggestions of her family and applied for a certified public accountant. Unfortunately, she couldn’t read the book at all, so she became less and less confident, but she didn’t know what to do.

The occupational crisis of most people is hidden in the choice of 20s

In fact, many of the professional confusion cases I’ve dealt with have been exactly the same as Yuan Yuan’s story in the beginning.

They do n’t have objective knowledge of themselves, and they do n’t have the courage to stop loss in time to start a new career. Therefore, after years and years, their self-confidence disappears, and their workplace experience and ability are more difficult to talk about. As a result, the situation is getting worse and worse, the income is not satisfied, and there is no room for ups and downs of the post, so it is hung up and down, and it can’t help it.

The essence of life is time: Behind the choice is a different view of time for everyone

The famous psychologist Zimbardo (the classic Stanford prison experiment is from his own hands) has studied and analyzed the vastly different gaps in human life. In his opinion, our life is essentially a period of time. What attitude to treat this period of time, that is, the concept of time, determines the fundamental difference between people.

Remember the famous kindergarten sugar experiment?

Researchers brought in a dozen children, left them alone in the room, placed cotton candy in front of them, and then left. The children were told that they could eat marshmallows, but if someone could wait until the researchers returned to eat, they would get an extra one as a reward.

As a result, two-thirds of the children did not hold back, and they ate it within three minutes.

In the face of the question of “whether or not to eat cotton candy”, there is a watershed in children’s choices: most children did not resist eating and few children did not eat.

On subsequent return visits, researchers found that children who could not hold back not only failed the exams, but also those who could hold back. They were also more prone to life problems such as drug and alcohol abuse.

Zimbadu later divided the concept of time into three categories and six categories:

The occupational crisis of most people is hidden in the choice of 20s

Leave workIn the context of industry selection and development, people at different times have different choices.

People with a view of future time will pay more attention to career goals. When considering career choices, they will not only consider income such as salary. On the contrary, they are more inclined to improve their ability and accumulation of resources, because they believe that Once the conditions are met, the salary position is ready.

Therefore, when choosing a career, these people are more inclined to think long-term: sometimes they do not hesitate to give up the conditions that seem to be in front of them, just in exchange for a better future.

For example, many young people who give up their family arrangements after graduation, choose to go to work in big cities, give up stable jobs in the eyes of others, choose civil servants who go to the sea, etc., most of them hold a “future view of time” people.

People who pay attention to the current view of time, they are not too far-reaching to think about and plan for the future. They are easily moved by the immediate benefits and by the opinions of the people around them.

The occupational crisis of most people is hidden in the choice of 20s

In the case of Xiaofang and Yuanyuan, it is not difficult to find that Xiaofang holds a “future view of time”: she finds that her interests and expertise are not in the financial field, and engaging in financial work is not good for her future, so she resolutely gives up After graduating from a four-year college, I chose to go to a career and environment that is more suitable for her. The choice at the beginning will be a bit difficult, but once she is on the right track, her growth rate is also amazing and the rewards are even greater.

Yuanyuan is the “time view of the moment”: Yuanyuan cares more about the gains and losses than the distant future. In her opinion, if you put the accounting work that is easy to apply for success, you don’t do it, but choose It seems difficult to get started, she will obviously be described as “unrealistic” by others, so she will be intimidated by the difficulties in front of her, and choose a seemingly easy road, but because of lack of enthusiasm and motivation to study, this road It gets narrower and narrower, and even ends up going nowhere.

The source of the gap between ordinary people and cattle people is the concept of time

If you take a closer look, it’s not difficult to find that those cattle people, such as Ma Yun and Bezos, are absolute views of the future: usually such people will have a sky-high confidence that this thing is absolutely Can be.

The length of time these cattle people think about is at least ten years.

The vast majority of ordinary people are more about the “time view of the moment”: they place too much emphasis on today’s successes and failures, can’t let go of their immediate interests, and look at unrealistic returns. Every step can’t wait for accurate measurement and Calculation whileThinking about the problem is short-sighted, and you may not even think about it monthly.

From the perspective of human mental development, children are generally “the concept of time now”: they can be happy with a candy in their hands, a doll can play for a long time, they rarely think about the future, and it is not easy Immersed in the past.

With the passage of time, based on the education of a person, some children gradually become future-oriented under the instruction of their parents. They will consider the impact of what they do today on their future. They will take the initiative to learn and take the initiative to meet difficulties and challenges.

Like the experiment of marshmallows, they gave up the marshmallows in front of them. In order to win more marshmallows tomorrow, such people can often delay satisfaction, think long-term, and their future will be infinitely close. What I want.

The occupational crisis of most people is hidden in the choice of 20s

If you think about it, do many people encounter this problem in the workplace?

Among the workplace issues I have encountered, there is one type of workplace confusion that is representative:

“Hello Teacher Xiaoli. My major for college entrance examination was chosen randomly. I didn’t know what I wanted at the time, but later found that I didn’t like this major, but I still didn’t know what I liked. I didn’t like it after work. I feel extremely bored in my current job and want to resign, but I don’t know what I like and what I am good at. Can you give me some suggestions? “

In fact, if you read today’s article, you don’t have to know the root cause.

The occupational crisis of most people is hidden in the choice of 20s

For the above confusion, I prefer this answer-

“Scrutinize your past carefully, maybe we will find such a rule.

When you go to school, you think that the fun and games in front of you are more interesting than studying. You never realize that immersing in fun and games will ruin your studies and have an irreversible impact on your future. Even if your parents and teachers have scratched their lips, you still think that they are embarrassing and annoying. Tomorrow, tomorrow, you will pay more attention to the game in front of you.When you should study, you are having fun, resulting in unsatisfactory academic performance, and the choice of college entrance examination is naturally narrow.

‘As long as you can go to university, you can do any major’. Maybe you will lower the standard repeatedly when you are filling in your voluntary requirements. As long as you can go to college, you will talk about the subject afterwards. So you choose a major and are confused. I spent a few years in college.

When you graduated, you suddenly realized that you still do n’t know what to do and what you like to do, so you found your first career in order to survive, and you will feel burned out while doing it. At the same time, it ’s not clear what it means to continue. You will think that this choice is wrong, so you continue to search without results. Gradually, you become the person you choose. Until the end, you find that you have fewer and fewer choices. When you look back, you realize that you are near the age of …

I wonder if you found it? The reason you are confused is that you have never thought about the future.

The occupational crisis of most people is hidden in the choice of 20s

In the past, you have completed three vital lessons:

The first is to find career goals and ideals. This is the homework that you should complete before graduating from university. Unfortunately, you were just playing and not doing it;

Second is to recognize and discover yourself, including your own strengths and weaknesses, possible talents or shortcomings. This was originally a homework you should complete within the first five years after graduation, but you did not complete it at that time; / p>

The third is continuous investment and accumulation. Because the previous two lessons have been dropped, this step has been delayed.

Time passes quietly. When you find out who has worked in the same class with you, you realize that your situation is so bad.

I can understand the mood you want to change, but unfortunately, time is one-way, it is irreversible and it cannot be turned back. If you really want to change, you need to make up the lessons that have been left behind, otherwise everything will be impossible to talk about. “

“For me on the road, I used to believe, I did not believe, and I am still looking for faith at this moment. But in the face of time, you will find that it is nothing to believe or not.” —— Long Ying “Watching” from the station

The occupational crisis of most people is hidden in the choice of 20s

About the author

Zhao Xiaoli, senior career planner, national psychological consultant, workplace writer.