This article comes from WeChat public account: caoz’s nightmare (ID: caozsay) , author: caozsay
In fact, there are really many choices for young people to consult the workplace. Whether it is consulting me or other big Vs, such as I often go to Shuai Zhang, or Feng Dahui ’s knowledge planet, I will encounter a lot of them. problem.
But in fact, many times, when choosing a career, young people need to consider not only individual career paths, but also many other factors, such as the maintenance of their elders, the education of their children, and the work and relationships of their partners. Life issues.
These factors often determine many key choices. The core of which is the choice of the city.
First talk about elders.
So I wrote an article before, “ Do n’t let the campus to the workplace Your parents have restricted your ceiling “, I won’t go into details here.
I just want to emphasize that taking care of parents is a virtue, but your own future and life cannot be confined to the parents’ vision, nor can you lose too many outside opportunities to take care of your parents.
The second most common problem is education for children. Many people choose their place of residence and working environment because of their children’s education. We have previously learned the so-called “Meng and Meng”. Some young people even start thinking about this problem even before they have children. For example, some young people have just graduated and started to ask before they got married. Is Tianjin’s settlement helpful to their children’s education? Is it so anxious?
Let me put it this way, if your child is really that kind of genius, it is the kind that can easily crush all peers in a certain field. I think that you sacrifice your personal workplace and find a better one for your children. ofEducational resources to keep children ’s talents from being buried are understandable and even deserved to be supported. But many times, parents will overestimate the talents of their children. Some children may have certain talents in a certain field, but there is still a big gap between talents. In order to find slim opportunities, it is not worthwhile to abandon their workplace.
How to judge the talents of your children? It ’s not long before you get started. In the competition in the field, you can get rid of your peers and stay ahead. The enlightenment teacher or the enlightenment coach tells you that this child cannot teach himself. Quickly send professional training institutions in big cities to find the best teachers. This is talent. Some people think that their children are very good, and they have won a second prize for what is not cold or hot, more than 90%. Of the contestants and teachers praised the children for their excellence, but this is usually not a genius!
For most ordinary families, children ’s education is more a role model for parents, preaching by example, and being able to allow children to enter a good school around them as much as possible, even if it is very good. If you really have a good income and good family conditions, you can give your children more choices. Of course, many families now allow their children to study abroad or choose a good private school. I think it is reasonable as long as the family conditions allow it. . However, some of their own workplaces are not satisfactory, their income is very limited, but they have to live in various ways for their children’s education, toss and toss, struggle for the old and small in the school district, and greatly reduce their quality of life in search of slim opportunities. I seriously Yes, I disagree.
I also know that in order to make children good grades and become child slaves, they basically give up their performance in the workplace, pick up and send children to various tutoring classes, home tutoring and learning, the workplace often asks for leave, even on time It is difficult to guarantee after work, anyway, personally, I will not choose this way of life.
It is not politically correct. If you are strong enough in the workplace, and your income and social status are high enough, seriously, you will give your children enough support in the future. There are countless examples of this. If you are struggling at the bottom of the workplace yourself, expecting your children to turn around by their academic performance or a special situation, of course, it is not impossible, the path is more difficult, and the opportunities are slim. Why not make yourself stronger first?
The third is a companion question.
This is another topic that is particularly prone to controversy, especially the so-called feminist topic.
In fact, I do n’t think it has anything to do with men and women. According to economic theory, who should take more responsibility for the family, or who should make appropriate sacrifices for the development of each other ’s workplace. Then it depends on who has the greater income capacity and growth potential.
So sometimes, when a young man asks me about my career choices, I will say that, personally, it may be a choice, but you better ask your boyfriend / girlfriend’s opinion and think about it. If your boyfriend / girlfriend’s earning ability is more than twice that of you, it is recommended to adopt the opinions of the other party as much as possible.
So, some people might say that love relationships are unreliable, and even marriage relationships are unreliable. If you lose economic independence, wouldn’t it be difficult to be at home in case of family problems in the future?
This problem does exist, so let me explain it:
First of all, the most important thing in family life is mutual compromise. This may be different from the ideal of many young people. Without mutual compromise, family relationships are difficult to maintain. If you want to stay with someone for a lifetime, you have to think about it. Basic trust is the cornerstone of family relationships. Almost most of the breakdown of marriage relationships stems from the inability to reach compromise on key issues.
The second point is that I am not advocating that the economically disadvantaged half should give up the workplace, but when there are some conflicting choices, you may need to give up the choice that is most beneficial to you.
For example, you can choose a good position in city A, but your partner has a very good opportunity in city B, and the income is much higher than the income of your position in city A. At this time, you may need to make The choice is whether to choose the risk of losing your partner, to develop in city A, or to follow your partner to work in city B, and choose a local position that is not so advantageous to you. At this time, you said that your partner should take care of you unconditionally and give up the opportunity in city B to look for opportunity in city A. I think it is inappropriate. But to be honest, this situation is often encountered in reality, and even there are cases that lead to divorce.
You can continue to study, improve, and find different opportunities for advancement, but you must know how to maximize the overall benefit of the family.
The third point is not only the income ability, but also the income potential.
In fact, I know that many cases of successful entrepreneurs are behind the scenes of a wife who silently bears the heavy responsibility of the family. For a long time, she supported her family with his wife’s income, while her husband kept losing money and spending. Until the success of entrepreneurship turned around and brought huge profits. This process can be lengthy. And the results may not be so wonderful, and the chances of failure are high.
Every family will have different judgments and choices. I ca n’t say that we must choose to take risks, but when family members agree to be willing to make risky attempts for high returns, we must do a good job of division of labor, and who will do it well. Logistics to ensure the basic survival of the family; who will take risks and where the stop loss line is.
Actually, when you graduate from college, you can see the difference here. Singles tend to have a wider choice and fewer concerns. There are often male and female friends who need to negotiate, and there are many failed negotiations that lead to breakups. Case.
Western people especially like to talk about the balance between the workplace and the family. The Chinese are more stubborn, but in the final analysis, what do we do in the workplace to fight for a happy family?
In the choice of workplace, the opinions of the other half are often more important than the so-called professionals outside, especially when the income ability and income potential of the other half are much higher than yourself, you should consult with them more and reach an agreement . Of course, this is not a unilateral compromise, for example, by giving up some of your career development opportunities in exchange for some other family affairs decision-making power.
Fourth, everything changes.
For example, your other half originally had a good income, but you do n’t want to make progress. Every day you mix up, you actively promote yourself, and finally you have better job opportunities. At this time, you should let the other party take more family responsibilities and give priority Protect your career opportunities.
Fifth, don’t be idealistic.
Is better in the past two years, I do n’t know if it will be better. When the women ’s rights slammed in the past few years, some big Vs advocated that excellent boys talked to the outside world. Just spend money and enjoy, life is boundless. And she keeps telling readers that she knows who is who. So, if you don’t meet such a boy, it must be a scumbag.
Well, as we all know, the big V who preached the most stories of this kind later divorced.
Don’t be idealistic. The family needs some compromise. The two sides should confirm the common family goals and clarify their respective responsibilities and obligations based on this. Rather than ask the other party to respect their own demands and development space.
Unwilling to accept this, of course, you have the right to choose your own lifestyle, do not force others.
This article comes from WeChat public account: caoz fudge (ID: caozsay) , author: caozsay