shocking.

Editor’s note: This article comes from the WeChat public account “张良 计” (ID: zhang_liangj) , author Zhang Good plan.

I posted a call on the public account a few days ago:

What workplace PUAs have you encountered?

After receiving personal responses from hundreds of readers in the background, many common problems can still be seen. Today I will talk to you about this topic and how we can deal with PUA in the workplace.

There may still be friends who do not understand what a workplace PUA is. Let me explain briefly.

PUA, the full name is Pick-up Artist, which is a “talking art” originated in the United States. It was originally a set of methods for men and women to communicate with each other. Later, this thing was used by people with ulterior motives, and it became a series of mental control methods such as brainwashing, deception, threats, psychological hints, etc., to deceive the opposite sex feelings and money, and even control the other person’s life.

The sensational Baoli female student Bao Li ’s suicide happened some time ago because of PUA. Bao Li was tortured by his boyfriend for a long time and eventually led to collapse and suicide.

There are many similar incidents online, you can check it on Baidu.

The workplace PUA is an expression that extends from the love PUA. It mostly occurs between the boss and his subordinates. It also uses a series of mental control methods to let the subordinates lose themselves and ultimately obey the boss.

I have seen a workplace white-collar psychology survey that shows that 64% of people in China have experienced workplace PUA. A few days ago, the public account “People” also published an article about various PUA practices .

After my last call for topics was published, various PUA stories were received in the background. Several of them made me shocked to read.

It can be said that workplace PUA is already a very common phenomenon.

So what are the routines of PUA in the workplace? How should we respond? Next, I will provide you with some methods and ideas based on the actual case, I hope to help you.

Today’s article is longer, but if you read it patiently, it will definitely help.

First of all, let ’s look at the general routines of PUA in the workplace. A brief summary of the following 4 points, I will talk about each one:

1. “You are too bad to do anything well.”

-Spiritual suppression through denial

This is the most common workplace PUA routine. In the cases I received, more than 70% were like this.

The core key of this routine is to constantly negate the work ability of the subordinates, so as to destroy the other party ’s confidence, and let them lose their independent thinking ability, so as to be at the mercy of leaders.

For example, a reader A said that when leaders communicate with themselves in peacetime, they always ridicule him. A. Leaders are also extremely hardworking when asking for work. The last agenda for weekly meetings is always to scold him:

“You are a garbage, stupid pig, you are useless, you are a joke, you can do nothing, you are a waste of life.”

Gradually, A became tense under such language violence, and saw the leader trembling every day. The leader asked him to do whatever he wanted, without complaints. Even after A did his job well, he did not get the leadership’s affirmation, but continued to suppress it, making him feel that “this should be.”

This is a very typical case.

Many people have experienced more or less criticism and education from their bosses at work, but the difference from the workplace PUA is that normal criticism education is very specific.

There are answers to questions about what has not been done well, what caused the failure, and what can be corrected next. And these answers can be gradually understood by subordinates in the process of criticizing education, so as to take action.

The workplace PUA is very vague.

Its spiritual suppression is dominated by emotions, and there is no rational guidance on specific actions. Let’s look at the following sentences:

“What are you doing, it’s not good.”

“What you do is worthless. How did I recruit you in the first place.”

“The customer complained to you that you were too stupid and asked me to replace you.”

These words appeared frequently in the cases I received. They are all venting emotions, not solving problems. If we go back and ask for specific details, we will either be fooled, or will be hit by harsher language, telling you that it is not your own question.

The consequence of this is that the listener ’s life beliefs are destroyed a little bit and become “tool people” who cannot think and judge.

There are many people who perform very well during or before the school. But the new company experienced ruthless denial and suppression, and finally mental state and personal ability plummeted, and some even developed into depression.

Under such a long period of mental oppression, no one can work normally, only to the boss