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How is PUA maintained?
At first glance, it doesn’t seem to be a problem. Of course, the person who initiated the PUA is maintaining it. In the workplace, it is the domineering superior, because of the advantage of the position of power, it can unscrupulously hurt the subordinates.
But is he alone enough to shake the conviction of the victim?
The cases I see that can be characterized as PUA are often more complicated. In a relatively normal environment, the arrogance of a single person will be described as “this person” is faulty. , At least emotionally on the side of the victim). And when it forms a group trend, a normal state, and a wave of public opinion, everyone will say that this is “as it should be”, and the victims really start to wonder: Is it possible? Is something wrong?
Colleagues may comfort her: it was always like this at the beginning.
Parents would say: I can’t twist my thigh with my arm.
The teacher said: You will be a master if you endure hardship.
From the media said: You can only keep your heart strong.
For a graduate student who was humiliated to cry by his supervisor, others would comfort him: He has a bad temper, but you really didn’t write a paper?
Those who plan to leave, the people around them cheer for him: Don’t give up lightly! There are so many difficulties in the future, do you avoid it every time?
These words are all right, the horror is here—they cannot be refuted, they are reasonable. Although this will make some people feel wronged, in the process of maintaining a period of PUA, in addition to the obvious bad guy, there are also contributions to the entire environment, including the participation of countless ordinary people.
Everyone can send out such messages as little as possible.
The people who are in it can no longer accept it.
This information will form a barrier to self-consistently justify this kind of injury. The speaker may have been one of the victims. The vast majority of people are even out of good intentions, and the final result is: long-term, rational, and chronic damage.
These words cannot be refuted, except for one thing: