What jokes did straight men make again this year?
Editor’s note: This article is from the WeChat public account “DT Finance” (ID: DTcaijing), author: DT Finance.
On May 19, Yui Aragaki married, and on May 20, Tong Liya divorced. The straight man who was still immersed in great sadness the day before, was as happy as a 300-jin child the next day.
They said, “The ups and downs of this world are always full of surprises”-and this is what their girlfriend wants to say.
520, the well-known post-modern Valentine’s Day, has been abruptly turned into a straight male brain hole festival. When they put the carefully prepared “surprise” into the hands of their girlfriends, looking forward to a laughter, the only smiling face left in the heart of the recipient.
You can always trust a straight man, just as you can always trust Chanel’s liquid foundation. He and it will not let you down, he and it will let you permanently leave the tears on your face.
On Valentine’s Day this year, we counted the “surprises” that straight men love to send, and where they ended up. Today, when more than 520 cigarettes have not cleared, we re-extracted this memory from the bottom of the box to see the routines and misunderstandings of straight men giving gifts.
Four Misunderstandings of “Straight Men’s Gifts”
If we want to explore the secrets of straight men giving gifts, we have to stand on their side and think about questions.
The first question we have to think about is, what is the purpose of straight men giving gifts? This is not difficult to answer. The purpose of men’s gifts is to move each other and deepen their feelings.
But the boy who always thinks about “gritting his teeth and getting an expensive” can hardly abandon the pursuit of “one step in place” in his nature at this time. Judging from the results, blindly pursuing the effect of gift giving is probably the first misunderstanding that men have when giving gifts.
When they search Taobao with deep affection and intend to move each other, they can’t help but search for the highest standard-“Girlfriends are moved and cry.”
What options do the Taobao sellers on the other side of the screen offer these infatuated men? Judging from the results, among the gifts on Taobao that can confidently move a girlfriend to cry, the top 2,000 best-selling gifts are mostly “practical”, “romantic” and “high-end” products.
Through these descriptive words, straight men will find that among these positive emotional gifts, there is no shortage of “a week gold bars” and “lipstick gift boxes”, which are very atmospheric gifts at a glance-high-end and high-end. Girl received a gift, Maybe you will really be moved by your sincerity?
Place an order and make a payment. In a burst of joy, another embarrassing gift for girls hits the road.
This is the second biggest misunderstanding of “Straight Men’s Gifts.” When buying gifts, don’t simply pursue big, new, and complete, and don’t always think about pursuing great miracles.
My friend, this is buying a gift, not a house.
Oh, yes, there is actually another problem that often arises, and that is the price. This is probably an extension of Misunderstanding Two, and here we call it Misunderstanding Three.
Although we can hardly deny that high-priced gifts can bring other kinds of joy, such as a famous watch, a luxury car or even a large flat in Lujiazui should be able to make a small wave in the heart of the other party. But trying to use price to achieve an emotional leap, seems to fall into another old question-Juxian followed Duan Xiaolou, is it true love?
When we go back to the logical link of gift giving, in fact, you will find that the problem seems to have appeared from the beginning. Obviously it was the other party who received the gift, but how could this lovely boy always consider it from his own point of view?
Here we are going to mention the fourth misunderstanding of “straight men’s gifts.”
Carnegie Mellon University and Indiana University once conducted a survey. They found that the focus of the gift-giver and the gift-receiver is not the same. Gift givers often pay attention to the moment when others receive the gift, but the latter cares more about whether the gift is practical.
For example, in “Thirty Only”, Zhong Xiaoqin, who likes to keep cats, always receives lucky cats from her husband—yes, the ceramic ones. Even though she was happy when she received the lucky cat for the first time, but the second, third, fourth… She endured her inner discomfort but still smiled and greeted others. Promise me, please let it be such a thing. Stay in the workplace, okay?
This is the fourth misunderstanding of “Straight Men’s Gifts,” which is to project self-consciousness onto others with too deep affection and self-movement. In the era of inconvenient communication, young men and women use letters to communicate and express love, often with love letters. But today, if you still insist on delivering a large number of letters, unless the other party eats this set, it will be like a dialogue that spans time and space-talking to yourself.
The difference in anticipatory management that existed from the very beginning between gift giving and receiving has largely led to the birth of “straight male aesthetics.”
But conversely, does “straight girl aesthetics” exist? Sure do. When you worked hard to prepare PS for boys5 and mechanical keyboard, but the other party likes Gucci and Prada. Although the prices match, sister, there are still more than 20 Li Jiaqi between your heart and him.
So, it seems that we are discussing the issue of “straight men giving gifts.” In fact, our target is not just good and funny straight men, but this point is obvious to them. After all, even if they receive the “straight girl gift”, they will probably not spend so much effort on Weibo to complain, just hide it in the closet and continue playing games.
When some people choose to put away the gift, and another part of the people who can’t rub the sand in their eyes receives a gift that they don’t like, they also have their own way-sell it.
Girlfriends
How do you deal with “straight men’s gifts”?
You may not think that Xianyu is not only a C2C idle trading platform, but also an emotional talk platform.
If every Xianyu seller who sells gifts for straight men is an island, then what she sells is a drifting bottle thrown into the world. When we open these drifting bottles, we can even hear the complaints made by them holding the mouth of the bottle while bottling-“????”
When I searched for the keywords “from boyfriend” and “from boyfriend” in Xianyu, we found that when sisters give gifts to straight men, they usually describe them as “new”, “creative” or “idle”. Judging from the frequency of words, most of these gifts are “rings” and “lipsticks” that are full of symbolic meanings.
From the perspective of category and quantity, the gifts made by girls seem to overlap with Taobao’s TOP gifts.
This also echoes our findings above. The gift of straight men pays attention to the symbolic meaning of the thing itself, but when it comes to use value, they don’t care what color number it is. After all, there are only light red, bright red, and Crimson.
Click on the homepage of these sellers, we can also see their age. Among all female sellers selling “straight men’s gifts”, the post-90s accounted for more than 65%. This is really worrying. Nowadays, women born in the 90s not only need to transform the world with their hands, but also have time to give boyfriends and straight boyfriends aesthetic orthodontics.
We also learned some new words by observing the descriptions of Xianyu sellers.
The first one, “Ten Moving Fishes”. As the name suggests, this means “very moved and hung up with Xianyu overnight.” A Beijing female netizen who is delivering a Children’s Day gift (a toy Oreo DJ station) from her boyfriend said so.
The second one, “I understand everything I understand.” “A birthday gift from a straight boyfriend. I have yellow skin. If I paint this color, I understand.” This is a female seller from Anqing, Anhui. She is making a lipstick that is not suitable for women with yellow skin.
Although she lowered the price time and time again, this lipstick still did not find a next home. We believe that this is not a problem with her straight boyfriend, but a problem with the manufacturer-why sell a lipstick that is not suitable for yellow skin on the land of Yanhuang descendants?
Friends, even people who don’t know yellow, white, and black can probably read your yellowing sadness in the text.
Besides the seller’s Cangjie-like character creation skills, we actually have another discovery.
In addition to adjectives such as “new” and “idle”, the words “creative” and “couple” often used by sellers of idle fish are also frequently used by sellers on Taobao. Those sisters who were once hurt by the gifts of straight men now seem to be looking for new takers in the same way.
This is like a drumming and spreading flowers from each other’s leeks, and it’s also like a human-to-human plague. It seems that as long as the world keeps turning, there will always be people in Gu. Perhaps in the next second, a new straight boyfriend will deliver these ornaments, bags and lipstick to the girl of his choice, and in exchange for a blank eye.
Naturally not give gifts
What should I do?
Sociologist Yan Yunxiang concluded in “The Flow of Gifts” that in the simple era, the gift and return of gifts between young men and womenTo deepen the relationship. It can be a bird’s egg collected from a grass, or a pipe sewn by hand.
The friend in front of the screen may have to ask, will anyone dig out bird nests and sew cigarette bags in 2021? Maybe there are, but there should be none with you and me. After all, gift-giver and gift-receivers in the city hope to put a layer of symbolic meaning of 24K gold on top of the use value-such as a pigeon egg or a Havana cigar.
If the essence of gift-giving is the flow of affection, perhaps the gift-giver has to consider it from the perspective of the other party.
Today is May 21. You still have time to make a final remedy for the gift you gave yesterday. In addition to the four misunderstandings mentioned at the beginning of the article, we have to make a restrained gift-giving handbook for you.
I hope that all donors can make good use of it.
First, the gift points can be used. How to make gifts good, cheap and practical? This question may have to ask your company’s HR to see how they choose the lucky draw gifts before the annual meeting. As small as Xiaomi and Lego, as large as Dyson and Apple, these gifts that fit different groups of people and at different prices should be seen by you.
Don’t rush straight to the lipstick gift box. There are many minefields in lipsticks that are as expensive as Hermès.
Second, do what you like, start with getting enough. When you start to study the meaning of gift-giving, the person receiving the gift must have some friendship with you. You might as well go to see what TA’s Weibo and Xiaohongshu are paying attention to. If there is a financial gap between you and the brand that the other party is concerned about, why not take a look at TA’s public comment? The 200 yuan wagyu meal coupon seems to be a good choice.
Three, cash. For example, if your friend recently moved, you might as well send some cash to let him buy some furniture items he wants. You save time and he can be happy. If your friend wants to, you can also engrave your name on the furniture, so that it is no longer a gift, but a title sponsorship.
Friends who are about to receive gifts can also open their minds, or else make a list for friends and let you claim them by yourself. This way everyone is relaxed.
Anyway, I wish you all the perfect gifts!
Author: Ami; Editor: Wang Chaojing; Design: Zheng Shuya