Hard times are the most perfect teacher in life.

 

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Editor’s note: Life is not static, many things will not go according to plan, and people are easily caught in the abyss of confusion. Under such difficult circumstances, it is necessary to train the brain’s self-regulation ability to better deal with the occurrence of unpredictable things in life. “Self-regulation” is mainly to spend some time thinking, making wise plans, and then taking correct rational actions before feeling and taking action. Training the brain’s ability to self-regulate is conducive to maintaining emotional health, staying calm during times of confusion, and making the most correct response. This article is translated from Medium, author Thomas Oppong, the original title is “When Things Fall Apart, Train Your Brain to Self-Regulate”, I hope to inspire you.

Photo by Kaupo Kalda on Unsplash

Thoughts, emotions, emotions and memories go back and forth, it is our self-regulating ability that makes them change.

Life is not linear.

Nothing will go according to plan. You can easily fall into the abyss of confusion, but you can respond rationally to this confusion.

No one can be fully prepared for great uncertainty. At the moment of crisis, the most basic human reaction is always panic and fear, which is a very common phenomenon.

Pema Chodron stated in “When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times”: “This is necessary for all of us to live Part of the experience. We respond to the possibility of events such as loneliness, death, nothing, andFear is the natural response that is closest to the truth. “

Life is a good teacher. Things are always changing-this is a very gentle, non-aggressive open state. If you can find a better way to deal with chaos, your brain will not enter combat or escape mode quickly.

Professor, behaviorist, Northeastern University, “A New Psychology of Thinking: Learning How to Be Agile, More Focused, and Closer in Today’s World” (Mentalligence: A New Psychology of Thinking : Learn What it Takes to be More Agile, Mindful and Connected in Today’s World) Kris Lee explained: “When something happens, our brain responds automatically. The tonsils are us A small part of the brain that controls fighting or running away, and when it is triggered, we must avoid being disturbed by emotions that make us want to overreact.

In times of confusion, those who are born with strong self-regulation ability or adaptability can handle unpredictability well, but for others who do not have such ability, confusion may cause the situation to be lost control.

The hard times determine the success of people

Gary Keller, in his book SHIFT, described the need for a “mind shift” before taking a “action shift” “. He explained: “This means that if our minds are not adapted to our current state, we cannot act in a way that will enable us to succeed.”

When everything seems to be on the verge of collapse, when we are constantly overwhelmed by fear, anxiety and pain, how should we live? The good news is that you can train your brain to self-regulate and adapt to build an anti-fragile life, so that we can be prepared even when faced with panic and uncertainty.

Most of us hover between the best state and the worst state all day, depending on what is happening around us. Maybe you cannot always control your emotions all the time, but your own influence on your feelings is greater than you think.

Image source: Photo letter creative

Self-regulation is essential for emotional health. When a person is self-regulating, he pauses between feeling and taking action. He spends some time thinking and judging the events faced by himself and his surroundings, making a wise plan and taking correct rational actions moves forward. Therefore, self-regulation allows us to remain calm under pressure.

Self-regulation is increasingly becoming a major skill in the 21st century and an important predictor of mental health, social relations, academic performance and job performance.

In any case, when it comes to controlling our behavior, self-regulation is like stepping on a brake or shifting gears. When you teach the brain to self-regulate, you will be able to concentrate better and stay calm when you are full of uncertainty. Whenever you respond better to difficult situations, specific neuronal patterns in the brain are stimulated and strengthened.

Source: Paradise Picture Network

Debbie Hampton (Debbie Hampton) explained: “When you first try to accept a new behavior, you must use your prefrontal cortex (that is, the part of the brain that is responsible for thinking), and add conscious effort, intention and Thinking. When you execute the new program enough times, the connection in the brain will be established and strengthened, this behavior will become less laborious, because it has become the default mode. ”

Margaret Moore, co-founder and co-director of McLean Hospital / Harvard Medical School Coaching Institute, said the fastest way to deal with stress is to evoke positive emotions.

Based on her experience as a counselor, the most successful people are able to establish a three-to-one balance between positive and negative thoughts: “What we are really talking about is using the brain ’s most precious resource-attention, it Allows you to complete the work to the greatest extent and have the greatest impact on the world. “

The human mind is the most adaptable tool—let it work for you, no matter what happens, you can adapt, respond, and remain calm.

Tough times are the most perfect teachers in life. At such moments, it is important to remember that what determines us is what we do, not what happens to us. Train your brain to stay calm in the chaos, and you will be able to respond the most wisely in every stressful situation.

Translator: Jane

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