I advise you not to run away from these three social beatings that you must suffer when you are young.
Editor’s note: This article is from the WeChat public account “Zhang Liangji” (ID: zhang_liangj), author: Zhang dollars.
I wrote an article about suffering losses a few days ago, “Super Practical Dry Goods: Really smart people have skills to suffer losses.” Many readers left a message saying that they only talk about skills and have no practical objects.
So today, let’s talk about the actual target.
Below I have listed three kinds of losses that must be suffered when I am young, and I prefer to call them, social beatings.
If you have all met so congratulations, your heart will be stronger than your peers. Don’t worry if you haven’t encountered it before. Everyone takes a warning, and you will know how to deal with it in the future.
Start a small social class below.
1. Being deceived
The deceptions in this society are full of strange tricks and tricks. Although there are many methods from high-tech Internet fraud to MLM traps, I have taught you a method called finding commonality.
No matter how dazzling the deception, once you grasp the common nature, you can see through it at a glance.
The reason why the scammers can succeed must be that they have hit a certain pain point in your heart, and then use a low-cost and high-yield method to tell you that you can satisfy this desire.
Everyone remember two key words, desire, low cost and high profit.
Let’s look at a few examples:
Job hunting trap:
Tell you that as long as you have a college degree, you can become an online celebrity overnight without knowing singing and dancing, as long as you receive our training;
The trap of getting rich:
A variety of overseas killing pigs, telling you to buy coins, stocks, gambling, and various sexy dealers to issue cards online;
Strangers making friends trap:
Suddenly add your WeChat friend’s strange opposite sex late at night, I feel lonely and take the initiative to tease;
Mail fraud trap:
One day I received an email, and the writer claimed to be a key account manager of an overseas bank. Recently, a wealthy customer passed away. He has a long-lost son with the same name as you. The other party can help you pretend to be the son of the rich and inherit a huge amount of wealth, as long as you tell complete personal information…
We use the two dimensions of “desire” and “low-cost and high-yield” to dismantle these traps, and you will find the mystery.
For example, the trap of strangers dating, the main lust. A beautiful woman with a sexy and innocent head takes the initiative to throw her arms, you don’t have to pursue it, this is its method.
Rapid wealth and mail scam traps, focusing on greed. With very little money and energy, you can reap huge wealth in a short period of time. Reaping for nothing is its method.
Another example is the job trap, which focuses on fame and desire. You don’t have to study hard, just come to our tutoring agency to become famous overnight, earn Porsche every day and earn Ferrari every month.
I will disassemble it. You may think that these scams are naive, but if you don’t have this kind of thinking, you can read the packaging of scammers. Young people who lack social experience can easily be deceived.
To fight against deception, first find out people’s desires. There are seven deadly sins in Western religions, which is easy to remember:
Gluttony, greed, laziness, jealousy, pride, lust, anger.
Every sin corresponds to a type of desire.
Next, low cost and high yield.
Just remember one sentence, and all the generous gifts in fate have secretly marked the price. Equivalent exchange is the most basic operating law in this world, and pay and gain must be equal.
I don’t deny those stories of getting rich overnight and becoming famous overnight, but don’t take exceptions as common. It doesn’t mean that others can do it.
What you can do is to analyze the conditions and resources behind the success of others, to dig out the invisible things under the iceberg. Chances are you will be shocked when you dig it out.
For example, the Internet celebrity industry, which is a typical industry that will succeed in everything. You only saw the top anchors earning hundreds of millions a night, but you couldn’t see the millions of young Internet celebrities who went on to earn less than 3,000 yuan a month, and the closed MCN companies were one after another.
Finally, read more books, listen to other people’s experiences, and analyze news cases in society. 90% of frauds can be solved with common sense, and the remaining 10% can be solved with knowledge.
Find out what kind of desire the liar wants to target you, and then use the corresponding common sense and knowledge to fight against it, and you will not fail.
2. Betrayed
Too easy life often hides a huge hidden reef behind. One of them is called Betrayal.
Especially those who have been well protected since childhood, the first hurdle in life is often betrayal.
Betrayal this kind of thing belongs to the kind of social beating that can make you fully understand after experiencing it once. How close the person who betrayed you was before, and how painful your understanding will be after the betrayal.
And pain is the catalyst for growth.
This behavior of betrayal does not distinguish between men and women, only the reasons, and the reasons are particularly simple. The betrayal between men is mostly for profit, the betrayal between women is mostly for men, and the betrayal between men and women is based on interests and feelings.
So people who have experienced betrayal, psychological activitiesNot “Why is TA like this?” but “How can TA be like this!”
Look, knowing people, knowing faces and not knowing heart.
Many people go out of campus and set foot in the first class of society, often not doing things, but knowing people. The typical student thinking is to listen only to the surface, and get confused when they come up and give a candy-coated cannonball.
Almost all people who have been betrayed have one characteristic in common, that is, they are particularly easy to believe in people.
“Don’t worry about this matter to me”, “You still don’t believe what the brother said”, “Who makes us good girlfriends”, “Of course I am on your side”…
I’m not teaching you to use malicious intent to guess each other at all times, and I’m not asking you to be a suspicious person. Instead, I advise you to listen to everything, and leave the rest to be distracted and think for yourself. Harmfulness is not allowed, and defensiveness is necessary.
Promises are not untrustworthy, but on the surface, but also on the inside.
What is inside?
The behavior, motivation, and logic are self-consistent.
Whether the other person’s usual behaviors and words are consistent, whether they say one thing and do one thing, this is called behavior.
Why did the other party agree to you, why dare to give you a package, what benefits the TA can get, and what risks the TA has to take? These are not worthwhile for the TA. It depends on the motivation.
Whether what TA’s actions are consistent with common sense, whether they are inconsistent, and whether there is something unreasonable is called logical self-consistent. If it is not in line with common sense, there are contradictions everywhere, and various behaviors are not justified, then there is a problem.
The above is an introduction to the class of knowing people.
Don’t believe it, don’t believe it, don’t let your trust be worthless, so you won’t be betrayed.
If unfortunately you are betrayed, you still have something to do besides being sad.
First, self-reflection, what’s the problem? Is it too easy to trust others, is it not thoughtful, or is it a momentary negligence?
Then take a warning, what should I do if I encounter similar things in the future? Should we not make decisions lightly, or should we keep an eye on everything secretly, or secretly leave Plan B to prevent accidents?
Finally, think about a countermeasure. What posture do you plan to use to face the traitor in the future. forgive? Pull black? Old and dead? Or maintain the surface and air? What are the consequences of each posture? Whether these are the consequences you want, you must be clear.
Relieve emotions, clean up yourself, and remember that pain is the most effective growth catalyst.
3. Despised
Low education is despised, poor family conditions are despised, poor work ability is despised, and even where your hometown comes from can be despised.
Whether you want to admit it or not, in societyThe chain of contempt is everywhere. Although everyone doesn’t say anything, they still have a ruler in their minds to measure all kinds of people around.
Those who are born in abundance and can live their lives without worrying about food and clothing are after all a minority. Most of us can only fight with our own hands and feet, and strive to gain a foothold in society.
In this process, the contempt from the people around us and the contempt from the upper class will continue to destroy our self-confidence and have a great negative impact on our body and mind.
So this kind of social beating is punishable.
Others may judge you from a bad background because of a single accent, because a pair of worn-out shoes is pointing at you behind your back, because you make a mistake at work and judge your ability, because you don’t go out for lunch with your colleagues. Not gregarious…
Believe me, each of these seemingly absurd reasons is actually happening in reality. How to deal with this state and how to grow up in contempt is a robbery that must be waded when young.
I still remember that when I came out to look for a job after graduating from college, I interviewed countless companies. Some interviewers showed contempt after taking my resume within 3 seconds.
Graduated from two colleges, didn’t get a scholarship, and had internship experience in a small company, and his appearance was not outstanding. So the interviewer blurted out and asked:
“Why do you think you are suitable for our company?”
I have been asked similar questions no less than 10 times. The other party asked not why, but why. The difference of a word reveals the deep meaning behind it.
Until I experienced 20 failed interviews, I met the boss of my first job. At that time, she had graduated from the National People’s University, had just finished the EMBA of China Europe Business School, and met me on the third day of returning to work.
After I introduced myself intermittently, she smiled and said to me:
“You can actually have a louder voice.”
I feel that the goodwill of the world suddenly opened its arms to me at that moment. Later, I successfully joined that company, and the knowledge I learned there today is enough for me to use for a lifetime.
Since then, I have learned how to deal with the contempt in life and turn them into motivation to push myself forward.
First I learned to face contempt, not to avoid it.
Because of the existence of objective conditions, it is necessary to be generous in admitting what is not better than others. But admitting that doesn’t mean you have to look down on yourself. Don’t feel that you are inferior to others just because some places are inferior to others.
On the contrary, you have to learn to find the key. Win back in a few key places, and the rest becomes irrelevant.
What kind of shoes you wear to work has nothing to do with whether your planning plan is beautiful or not;
Where your hometown comes from, it has nothing to do with whether you can take serious notes during meetings with you;
Whether you go out to dinner with your colleagues or not has nothing to do with whether you can chat and laugh with customers;
Re-examining it, you will find that there is not much relationship between the things you are despised and the goals you strive for. In this case, don’t care about the opinions of people around you, because their opinions,
One! point! All! Do not! weight! want!
On the contrary, you have to find the key core of your struggle, devote all your efforts to achieve the goal, and then try to get rid of such an environment, that is Correct answer.
Secondly, you have to believe that there is still goodwill in this world.
Not everyone likes to despise others, and there are many people who are kind in heart, who will not ignore your inner qualities because of external factors.
Make friends with such people more, and you can stay away from those who despise you.
Finally, don’t be stingy with your kindness.
One day you will also sit in a high position, and then you will face young people who are not confident. At this time, there will be two kinds of people:
The first type of person, the mentality of revenge. Thinking that I had suffered so many cold-eyed contempt, I finally got ahead, and today I must let this ill-fated breath out. So the boy who slayed the dragon at the beginning became the evil dragon.
The second type of person is compassionate. I had suffered so much because of contempt, and now I have some power in my hands, so that the younger generations will not suffer unnecessary blows. So open the door and treat them equally, everything depends on good luck.
I advise you to be the second type of person.
The reason is simple. Whether it is good intentions or maliciousness, it will bear fruit. When is the injustice reported, the hand of the gift rose has a fragrance.
The above is today’s article.
Three kinds of social beatings, each of which is enough to make you fully understand. Being deceived, betrayed, and despised, if you encounter them all when you are young, then it is the life asura game, the greatest test of God.
Don’t be afraid, face it.