People are ducts, happiness flows through them, sorrow flows through them, ducts are just ducts.
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Editor’s note: Mu Xin once said that people often think that people are a container, filled with happiness and sadness. But man is not a container, man is a catheter, happiness flows through, sorrow flows through, the catheter is just a catheter. Life cannot only have ups and downs, sometimes downs and ups, how to face and deal with negative emotions is a compulsory subject for everyone. This article is translated from medium, the author of the article Michael Touchton, the original title is A Simple Four-Step Process for Overcoming Negative Feelings.
1. Find out the negative emotions in your heart
This step is very difficult. You need to calm down and think slowly, but negative emotions often come very suddenly, forming a huge pressure, making it difficult for people to think clearly and understand the current reality.
So, when a negative emotion strikes, such as you feel fear, anger or frustration, please try to face it, write down the bad emotion, or tell others that it is very important to be brave to recognize the negative emotion, because you can never Conquer what you don’t understand. For some people, the first step may be very easy, but for others, especially those who often ignore their feelings, it will bring a sense of frustration. But don’t be afraid, try to do it, and persevere.
From now on, observe your negative emotions with long-lost curiosity, realize that these are normal emotions, and cheer up. If you can recognize negative emotions, then you are about to overcome them.
We need to realize that no matter what kind of negative emotions we are in, it is ourselves that bothers us. We can neither blame anyone nor “give” any bad emotions. Although this is a bit unfair, the reality is like this.
The environment you are in may trigger negative emotions, but this is precisely because such emotions already exist in your heart. But don’t worry, face it bravely and take action.
2. We must fully accept our negative emotions and accept reality
Reality itself can be good or bad, and although it is sometimes unfair, it is objective. Negative experiences are not caused by life, it is just a part of life.
Don’t think of emotions as part of “me”, good and bad things always come and gogo with. Once you understand this, you will realize that feeling is fleeting, it cannot represent you, nor can it be you. Emotions belong to you, but they cannot be completely equated with “you”.
3. Don’t treat emotions as all of yourself
Sometimes, we get into trouble because we are aware of the negative emotions we experience, just as it is difficult for angry people to rationally withdraw from angry emotions. We have experienced too many negative emotions, so we may lose our awareness of our true identity, be blinded by temporary emotions, and ignore other possible feelings.
Take up the courage to separate yourself from your emotions and treat your emotions as clouds. They come and go, and they change unconsciously. In the last second, you may be angry. In the next second, it may be gentle as water. You are you, emotions are emotions, don’t take emotions as all of yourself.
4. Realize that only when you change, everything around you will change
We can change the problems we face, the people we encounter and the situation we are in by changing ourselves. Each of us has the power to change reality, but we often underestimate this power. We can’t change anyone, we can only start by changing ourselves, and when we change, we will find that everything around us can’t stay still.
When we change our view of the situation, choose to let go, face our emotions and take responsibility for them, everything will change.
Negative emotions are part of life, and sometimes it can be overwhelming. In order to overcome the negative emotions and seek more peace, the next time you encounternegative emotions , Please try the following:
1. Find out the negative emotions in your heart, feel it with your heart, understand it carefully, don’t reject, don’t escape.
2. Understand that negative emotions are part of your own feelings and accept them.
3. Don’t care too much about negative emotions, bind yourself to them. Excessive interpretation will only make it take root deeper, good and bad emotions are not eternal, accept the ups and downs of life.
4. Realize that if you want to change anything, you must first change yourself. Changing yourself will be difficult at first, but freedom is always hard to come by. Only by controlling yourself can you be truly free.
(Translator: Lin San)