Advising people to break up this matter, the Internet easier
Editor’s note: This article is from the micro-channel public number “number NetEase read” (ID: datablog163), Author: Netease reading.
This is the sixth issue of “Omics Research” of NetEase Wenchuang Numerical Readings.
“Omics Research” is a column focusing on the Douban Group. The Douban Group is a magical existence. It gathers all kinds of fun young people and also provides many topics for the Chinese Internet.
To understand young people, let’s first understand “omics”.
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As the Chinese New Year approaches, people are busy preparing for the New Year, and a group of people are busy breaking up.
For people experiencing emotional crisis, the end of the year may be a good time to solve the problem. If you still can’t make up your mind, “Douban Persuades the Sub-Group” to 290,000 “Break-up Masters” are moved with affection, understands reason and persuades to break up online, Bao Jun is satisfied.
As it is written in the introduction of “Douban Persuade Sub-groups”, “Will you stay for the New Year without breaking up?! Join the group to persuade you to break up, this group persuades you to break up! Let you resolve to break up!”
What’s the experience of being persuaded by 290,000 people online? Welcome to the “Douban Persuading Sub-group” to show you the current status of breakups among contemporary people.
Relocation is the most common reason for wanting to break up
In the “Douban Persuasion Group”, you can see emotional stories that are more bloody than soap operas. “Chaos and cheating”, “Suddenly lost contact”, “Pua returned to domestic violence”, and even more bizarre “Refused to meet, because I saw it in a dream” “Seeing girlfriend and girlfriend kissing”…Here, full of The various emotional crises of contemporary people.
Although stumbling is inevitable in a relationship, it is not a simple contradiction that allows people to post for persuasion. According to our statistics on the titles and texts of all posts on “Douban Persuade Sub-groups”, we found that remote locations are the most common reason for wanting to break up.
Long-distance relationship is difficult. Two people are too far apart. Although you can send messages and video chats every day, it will always cause various problems if you can’t see each other for a long time.
In addition to a different place, the former is also a hurdle in the relationship between two people. Some people feel that they can’t let go of their predecessor because they still can’t let go. For example, because they have pictures of their predecessors in their phones, they refuse to delete their predecessor’s contact information, not to mention that they are still “good friends” with their predecessors, playing games and even consulting emotional issues:
Sometimes we play games together, and we chat basically every day…Then I expressed a few times that I was unwilling to explain to me that I was just a friend, and sometimes I would consult with her about our relationship problems… Very caring.
Unable to reach a consensus on children-related issues, ranking third in the reason for wanting to break up. In addition, family status is also very important in a relationship. Two people love each other again, and the gap in family conditions is not an easy problem to solve. After all, no one wants marriage to become “poverty alleviation”:
The family conditions of the other party are really bad…I feel that the burden will be heavy. ……I probably learned about my relatives. The situation is not very good, and there is no boundary awareness. I think my boyfriend is the most educated and the best mixed in their family. I often ask him for help with everything.
In addition to planning for the future and family factors, the ability of two people to work together also plays a big role. For example, in a group, there are often posts complaining that the other party has a bad temper and cannot control their emotions:
Cold violence forced me to break up, hot and cold, cloudy or sunny, busy and perfunctory can be clearly distinguished, okay, take me as a fool, my heart is dead…I can’t find the meaning of holding on , And also deeply angry for this kind of unconcerned goodbye behavior.
The reasons for breaking up are different, but people can’t bear to post complaints on the “Douban Persuasion Sub-group”, and they all cannot do without some specific fuse.
“No one can come out of his boyfriend’s cell phone with a smile.” In the fuse that led to a breakup, the cell phone ranked number one. Microscope boys and girls can always find clues in details such as cell phone location and consumption records, and infer that the other party is cheating.
There is even a “Break Up Master” who has specially issued a tutorial to teach people how to check each other’s mobile phone comprehensively:
Check the group list of the circle of friends, album recycling bins, group buying movie ticket records, takeaway order address location, red envelope exchange amount, major shopping website platform records, hotel check-in confirmation text messages, teammates who always play games together……There is a trick for yourself before checking your phone, and then remember to check the blacklist.
A lot of problems can be found in Moments. For example, Moments who are reluctant to post “official announcements” when we are together will inevitably make people wonder if he has other ideas. What’s more, it’s too much to block the Moments. Lost myself:
In fact, he is afraid that I know that besides me, he also wants other people in the circle of friends to see it. It is really disgusting to be blocked by my boyfriend.
Because it’s not uncommon for photos to break up, in addition to being found close photos of other opposite sexes, some people even saw current photos from other opposite sexes:
I saw pictures of boyfriends in other girls’ circle of friends…It’s so speechless, boys just say what they think they’re normal friends. I think it’s very disgusting, I can’t stand it, no matter what they have There is nothing more.
In a romantic relationship, gifts have a great adjustment effect, but if they are only given unilaterally, or if a gift from the other party’s ex is found in the other party’s home, I will inevitably feel that I will respond.
Games are also a good tool for breaking up. Some people are too fond of playing games, and they can’t find anyone when they play games. It feels like they are in a relationship. What’s even more excessive is to play games with little brothers and sisters in double row by playing games:
Playing together for a long time, and still using the voice, it is easy to make people think about whether it is good or not, if the sound is good, it is easier to derail! A lot of people just play games together to develop feelings, okay? …How can the object of the broken game matter? !
These problems may seem small, but they are like emotional time bombs. When they accumulate to a certain extent, they become the last straw that crushes intimacy.
The reason for breaking up and hesitating, it ranks first
Once the fuse of the breakup is buried, it can be tolerated at the time, but as the conflict accumulates, the negative emotions that want to break up will always be ignited at a certain time of the day.
Everyone is busy with study and work during the day, and it is only during the rest time that they can think carefully about their relationship problems.
The “break-up masters” of “persuade sub-groups” have more persuasive methods.
The most commonly used persuasion routine of “breakup masters” is to scold scumbag men and women to enhance their confidence in breaking up, and use harsh language to make people sober:
It won’t be the first time that you’re locked up as a pan-man, and there will be n times. If you are not afraid of getting sick, you can continue to be with Diosi, which is considered to save other girls. Can I be more mindful?
There is also a “break-up master” that takes a different approach, using a more advanced persuasive routine, with a weird tone of yin and yang to let the host have a snack:
It’s very good to you, sweet love. Not having three children can’t justify a hundred years.
“Persuading sub-groups” also has traditional techniques of persuading sub-groups: give emotional advice, let the host break up quickly with emotion, and tell the host “he/she just doesn’t like you like this”.
Some people know the reason and tell the host that love is not everything:
Love is not omnipotent, and we cannot subjectively think that the world is beautiful. He should not be this kind of person, he must not be. You didn’t realize that it was just because there was no touching event.
Emotional support is indispensable for persuading points. “Break-up masters” also have a heart-warming side. In addition to persuading points, they will also cheer on the host and support the next relationship:
Hug! ! ! Love you! ! ! I hope you can find someone who loves you and loves you for the rest of your life, and be very happy!
Perhaps only in the case of “persuade to divide into groups” and everyone does not know, the “breakup masters” can fully exert their skills.
In reality, if people around us encounter an emotional crisis and ask ourselves for help, we are more cautious in persuading to “reconsider”, otherwise, in case of no distinction, we will become sinners instead.
There are thousands of reasons for wanting to break up, and there are many ways to persuade peace and separation. In fact, when a person has an emotional crisis and posts a request for help, he/she already has an answer to the final direction of the emotion in his/her mind, and the answer lies in the choice of “persuade sub-groups” or “persuade peace groups.”
However, just look at the number of members in the “persuade sub-group” and “persuade the peace group” to know that only a small number of people can reconcile as before, and most emotional crises end in breaking up.