This article is from WeChat official account:Simple psychology (ID: janelee1231)< span class = "text-remarks">, author: lakes edge, from the title FIG Alison
Talk about a real thing that happened around me.
A while ago, my friend had his birthday and suddenly received a confession. It’s a boy from the next class in high school. He hasn’t contacted him for many years.
He said: “Did you know, every year on your birthday, I will buy myself a piece of cake to celebrate”.
My friend is speechless: I don’t know, I haven’t known for so many years. No one knows that someone lights a candle in the middle of the night and falls into “self-moving” love alone.
The mouth is a bit poisonous, but it makes sense.
There are indeed many young people who want to fall in love, but don’t know how to love and how to get along with the people they like. He may think: He has paid a lot, why the other party doesn’t appreciate it at all?
Dr. Gary Chapman, a marriage consultant, has noticed through mediation work that a tendency of conflicts between partners is that each other ignores each other’s “love language”.
Everyone’s “love language” is different.
For example, some people think that love is “accompaniment” and a partner is someone who spends a good weekend together. There are also people who value “rituals” most. If the other party forgets the important anniversary, they will wonder “Is he not in love”?
——As a result, they feel that each other does not like themselves that much.
Chapman proposed “5 languages of love” accordingly. The series of publicationsockquote>
A: Words of Affirmation: Words of Affirmation
B: Quality Time: High-quality companionship
C: Receiving Gifts: Send gifts
D: Acts of Service: Service Behavior
E: Physical Touch: Physical Touch
In addition to “your favorite love language”, you may also have some secondary love language. Therefore, the distribution of scores also has reference significance.
Love language changes, especially after you deal with some growing trauma.
I found a few colleagues to play, everyone’s reaction was very interesting.
“I never thought that I was an old man”:
“Too accurate, I basically do all the housework”:
“My subject looked at the result and said: You-note”>Picture/Alison
The philosopher Han Bingzhe said in “The Disappearance of the Other”: The most basic condition of pure love requires a person to have the courage to eliminate oneself in order to be able to discover the existence of the other.
It makes people less narcissistic, but pay more attention to their partner:
“How much do you know about his inner world? How much do you know about his needs? What are his values, preferences, childhood experiences, and current pressures? What are his dreams and ambitions? What are your concerns about him? How much do people know? What makes them feel loved”.
I wish you can love yourself and others.
“Our goal is not to persuade each other, but to know each other.”
——Hermann Hesse(Hermann Hesse)
English version online test:https://www.5lovelanguages. com/
More convenient for iOS users: download the “Love Nudge” app (not an advertisement) from the Apple Store
This article is from WeChat official account:Simple psychology (ID: janelee1231)< span class = "text-remarks">, author: lakes edge