A true master must be “lonely” to the extreme.
Editor’s note: This article is from the WeChat public account “Jingwei Venture Capital” (ID: matrixpartnerschina), author: Jingwei Venture Capital Homepage.
Introverts are more likely to become successful business leaders-this is the conclusion drawn by the Chicago consulting firm ghSmart after 10 years of analyzing the personality characteristics of 2,000 CEOs.
Looking at the founders who built social media empires by one hand, most of them have “social phobia”, including Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg, one of the founders of Twitter, Jack Dorsey, and WeChat Father Zhang Xiaolong and so on.
Why is this? Because the strong know that low-quality social interaction is not as good as high-quality solitude. “Anything, 90% of which is rubbish, and the remaining 10% is meaningful.” The seemingly absolute words of the science fiction writer Sterkin, but he said the truth in one sentence: In order to appear gregarious, I don’t know how much people spend Tired of ineffective social interaction.
From a scientific point of view, there is a basis for introverts to possess certain qualities of success. Studies have shown that being alone more easily stimulates the two working modes of the brain-“Default Mode Network” and the other is called “Task Positive Network”. The default mode can help people consolidate scattered thought fragments, while the focus mode can maintain their own concentration, constantly review existing information, and activate creative inspiration. According to a survey conducted by psychologist Kaufman, 70% of people think that they are the most active and creative in the shower.
More and more facts show that smarter people are more inclined to be alone. Loneliness and introspection will not hinder a person’s success. It has a powerful force that can make people get rid of interference and temptation from the outside world and keep improving in their own field. As Schopenhauer said, people are either lonely or mediocre. Below, Enjoy:
1 A true master must be “lonely” to the extreme
Many times, people who like to be lonely are likely to be regarded as “outsiders” in social situations, but those who are really awesome don’t seem to be gregarious.
Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of Facebook, who is obsessive and indifferent, prefers to be alone. He can stay alone for three days and put himself in the house;
Jack Dorsey, one of the founders of Twitter, has inherited the engineer’s consistent low-spokenness, and even if he speaks, he always speaks slowly. Therefore, “Diverse hobbies, restraint and restraint” became the description of this Twitter The label of the founder;
Zhang Xiaolong, the father of Chinese social society, is so withdrawn that he doesn’t even want to attend regular company meetings. “Participating in meetings is a waste of time. I’m not against meetings.It would be nice if I wasn’t there. “
To some extent, loneliness is a way of behavior for the strong. Compared with loneliness, they are less able to accept their spiritual barrenness, because enriching themselves is far more meaningful than pleasing others.
Scientists Newton and Einstein, philosopher Wittgenstein, French President De Gaulle, and US President Jefferson all suffer from Asperger’s syndrome. Even musicians such as Beethoven and Mozart were not treated until after death. Diagnosed with this disease, so Asperger’s syndrome is again called “genius disease” and “genius gene”.
Asperger’s syndrome and autism belong to the same subtype of autism spectrum disorder. About 7 out of every 10,000 children suffer from Asperger’s syndrome. Berg syndrome is also called “autism without intellectual disability”.
Perhaps, as the painter and director Stallone said: “When people pursue their ideals, they fall into loneliness.”
In the age of social media where people live in groups, it is difficult for everyone to tolerate loneliness, as if they lose the soul of life without socializing. But truly powerful people have long given up on ineffective social interactions and focus on their own growth. “Stock God” Buffett mentioned the key to success-the concentration that comes from being alone.
Buffett used actions to tell people: Success is not only boring, but also lonely. He spends most of his time in his study or office alone every day, spending a lot of time reading various news, financial reports and books. In the “Becoming Warren Buffett” documentary, it can be clearly seen that his office has no electronic products, only the books on the shelf behind him and the news papers on the table.
Picture from “Becoming Warren Buffett”
Molatoglu, the long-term coach of the American tennis legend Serena Williams, never talked to anyone at school since childhood, and did not want anyone to talk to him. This is too shy and unsocial behavior. Even if it is serious enough to see a psychiatrist, there is no effect. But it is this weakness that is not good at talking that allows him to calm down to observe life carefully and pay attention to every detail. “It is this incredible weakness-the inability to communicate with people, I have a huge advantage, the ability to read people.”
How many years later, beside the tennis court, Moratoglu can read many questions from the player’s body language that even the player himself did not even realize because of his observant ability.To help the players win the championship.
The stronger the person, the more able to enjoy loneliness and self-acceptance.
2 Why is “loneliness” good for success?
Generally speaking, the biggest difference between introversion and extroversion is that introverts are not good at expressing and socializing.
But in fact, introverts and extroverts are two different learning modes. Extroverts tend to give feedback to objects in the external world, while introverts tend to meditate in their inner world.
A person’s gains and losses are conserved. When people feel that introverts tend to be immersed in their own world and tend to be disadvantaged at work, introverts have many natural advantages for success. As Zhang Xiaolong said on Fanfou: “For so many years, I am still working as a communication tool. This makes me believe in a fate. Every child who is not good at communicating has a powerful inner power to help others communicate.”
Why are people who are lonely more likely to succeed?
1. Working mode that is good for mobilizing the brain
Actually, the working mode of the human brain can be divided into two types: one is called the “Default Mode Network” (DMA), and the other is called the “Task Positive Network” (TPN).
Our life and work are all related to the working mode of the brain: if you focus on a certain task or accept and process external information, the brain will automatically call the focus mode; if you are alone, people’s thoughts are more lax and the brain does not need The receiving process is too complicated, but it is also active. It will call the default mode and constantly review the past information. Many genius creative points are born out of continuous rumination of information.
Take a survey conducted by psychologist Kaufman as an example. When asked “when is your most active thinking and creative moment”, 72% of people said it was in the shower.
The reason is simple: when a person is bathing, the senses are closed and unable to receive new information from the outside world, and the active brain is forced to turn to introspection. At this time, the working mode of the brain will change from TPN to DMN. Moreover, showering brings a state of extreme relaxation. In this state, one’s own openness becomes stronger than usual, and many restricted thoughts will emerge.
Professor Nathan Spreng of the Department of Psychiatry and Psychology at McGill University in Canada and his collaborators also passed the MRI of approximately 40,000 middle-aged and elderly people from the British Biomedical Library (MRI) data, genetic information, and self-psychological evaluation were studied, and the results further strengthened the above conclusions.
The loneliness of the brain is closely related to the default mode network of the human brain, the more lonelyFor people, the easier it is to activate the default mode network of the brain, the easier it is to think about and review the past.
No matter which working mode of the brain, it needs a relatively quiet environment to enter a certain state. Obviously, those who prefer loneliness have an advantage in this regard.
2. Deep thinking + calm work
American doctor Debra Johnson found that introverts have a longer brain blood path, and it takes longer to think or react compared to extroverts. The study also found that the D4DR gene in adventurous people is relatively long, while the group of genes in introverts is relatively short, so introverts tend to be more careful, more cautious, and introverted towards external things.
Torsey’s Dorsey is such an introvert. He once said: “I want to think about it, so I don’t speak fast. I hope that what I say is what I want in my heart.” His in-depth thinking and summary of things made his social insights extraordinary. Once he speaks, he will always be logically rigorous and not leaking.
3. Hobby of learning, wide range of interests
Studies have shown that the prefrontal cortex of introverts is more active, which is the processing area dedicated to learning, decision-making, memory, and problem-solving. Therefore, introverts are relatively more likely to learn about difficult scientific knowledge and social rules. Interested.
Bezos is not limited to a single field, but covers a wide range of fields. Only then can Bezos subvert the bookstore, supermarket, aerospace and other fields. He once said publicly: “I believe that if you want to innovate, you must be willing to be misunderstood for a long time. You must adopt a non-consensus but correct point of view in order to defeat your competitors.”
So, as the executive director of Amazon, the retired Bezos continued to devote his energy to Blue Orgin, Day One Fund, Bezos Global Fund, The Washington Post, and various other hobbies in. He even said: I have never felt so energetic, and none of this has anything to do with retirement.
4. Dare to give up high-cost social networking
Smart people are more inclined to be alone and actively reject meaningless social interactions. For them, their own unique opinions and ideas often conflict with the conventional opinions of society, and it takes a lot of effort to explain to others, which consumes too much time, cost and energy.
The British Journal of Psychology published a study in which 150,000 samples were taken from adults aged 18 to 28, and found that people who performed better in school and work, when alone Will report higher satisfaction. The reason is that in a modern society with a high degree of division of labor and a high degree of specialization, humans no longer have to live in groups. On the contrary, people who are alone are often immune to environmental interference andinfluences.
In many social situations, people must remain emotionally full, receive and respond to each other’s messages in a timely manner, and maintain this state and emotions all the time. Psychologically speaking, this is called deliberate performance, that is, to hide one’s true feelings, cooperate with others in a social environment, and show appropriate behaviors in exchange for others’ high evaluation of oneself. But forcibly integrating into certain social environments is actually consuming one’s own cognitive resources. Therefore, instead of letting them spend their energy to blend in and adapt, it is better to stay moderately alone in order to better display their talents.
5. Introverts are better at listening
Professor Adam Grant of the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania has done an interesting study. The results show that introverted leaders always produce greater benefits than extroverted leaders.
Harvard Business School conducted a field survey of the different dynamics of 130 franchise stores in the United States, and found that when the store employees advise outward leaders, the store’s profit will be 14% lower than the average. In stores where the leaders are introverted and the employees are not proactive, profits will be 16% higher than the average.
The reason for this phenomenon is related to the fact that introverts are not eager to express themselves externally. They can calm down and listen to more suggestions from their employees, which can stimulate their enthusiasm and provide suggestions for the company. And research shows that this behavior of employees will make extroverted leaders have a “sense of crisis.”
3 How to learn to be alone?
Although thinking alone is so important to success, many introverts still unknowingly think this is a bad behavior in daily life, appearing that they are very uncomfortable, and need more attempts to become extroverts. When people who don’t like noise are constantly trying to integrate into social activities, they are also losing their creativity.
Being alone is the inherent ability of everyone. Many times people choose to suppress their desire to be alone. American writer Susan Kane once stated in a TED speech that one-third to two-thirds of people are Is introverted.
Image from TED
The current social environment always prefers those who are capable of action (mostly extroverted, active in life, and proactive), rather than preferring those who think deeply.
However, when it comes to creativity and productivity, people who are good at transforming their minds are generally mentioned.People who are dimensional, and these people usually have obvious signs of introversion, because aloneness is essential to success.
Jobs led Apple to make major decisions, as well as those stunning product ideas and technological inventions, which were produced and completed in his solitary sit-in. He once said, “No matter what you do, it’s nothing more than to show us. Inner nature, this is the only purpose of our existence.”
Rather than dealing exhaustingly with various emergency DDLs and meetings, it is more important to learn how to get along with “loneliness” and master the balance between solitude and social life. This is also what many Internet company founders will arrange on their daily schedules. The reason for “self-thinking” time.
A concept is called Compound Time, which refers to taking away from seemingly urgent tasks and freeing up time to invest in activities that can harvest more knowledge, innovation and strength in the long run. Compounding time is similar to compounding interest and will bring a greater return on investment over time.
On how to be “alone”, here are several methods for your reference:
1. Set aside “free time” for reading and thinking
No matter how busy you are at work, set aside “free time” on your schedule.
Research has shown that when people work, nearly 50% of their time is distracted, compressing those inefficient or even ineffective time, and leaving plenty of time for themselves.
Buffett said that he still spends five or six hours reading every day.
Picture from “Becoming Warren Buffett”
2. Keep a long-term writing when writing diaries/notes
Reviewing the successful experiences of many outstanding people is inseparable from open reflection. Many people will put it into writing and keep a record.
Management Master PeterEvery time Drucker makes a decision, he always records his expected goals and compares the actual situation after a period of time.
World martial arts champion Josh Wizkin also said that his log system is based on complexity research. “How to reduce complexity is the most important issue. To fall asleep with this problem, brainstorm when you wake up in the morning and think about the problem subconsciously, it is easy to completely release yourself and open your mind.”
“Don’t trust your own memory, take more notes. Don’t trust your own brain for your memeory.” One of the 26 ways Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg can improve efficiency is to warn everyone to do well recording.
“Life is entirely a practice of concentration. Wherever you focus, your life is.” The philosopher Krishnamurti’s words fully express the importance of concentration.
In fact, many people who feel “empty” and busy with various chores every day are often those who always think that they can handle multiple tasks at the same time. They ignore that people’s attention is limited and can only focus on one at a time. Things.
4. Find a partner who can talk to
Enjoying the process of being alone is just subtracting from your own social life. Many successful people choose to communicate with thoughtful people in depth and professionally on a regular basis, in order to inspire themselves through high-quality communication.
What kind of social relationship there is, there is a kind of life. When you continue to communicate with the strong, your own growth must be rapid.
Jobs and Steve Wozniak jointly pushed the Apple computer into the world. If you didn’t meet Jobs, maybe Steve was still in the corner of Hewlett-Packard, no one knew.
5, refuse to accept passively
It is natural to stand with most people in order to avoid being isolated, but being alone requires actively maintaining one’s power. Therefore, when you feel uncomfortable in public, don’t suppress or hide yourself, and be brave to say no. Dare to be different. If you feel disturbed, you can express your opinions firmly.