Thank you kids.
Editor’s note: This article is from WeChat public account “All Media” (ID:quanmeipai), author Tencent Media.
This Tuesday, “Little Joy” ushered in a successful finale. In the play, the children were willing to take the favorite university, and the family relationship between Fangjia, Qiaojia and Jijia was also repaired and improved, and everything went towards “happy”. This parent-child drama, which focuses on the real picture of Chinese families at the special node of the college entrance examination, has earned laughter and tears, and has triggered collective memories and resonances of many audiences, such as the original family, love and control, and college entrance examination education. Discussions are coming.
From “I love my family”, “There are children at home” to the recently released “Youth School”, “With Dad to Study Abroad”, parent-child relationship has always been an important theme in domestic TV dramas. In addition, foreign dramas such as the high-scoring Korean drama “Please answer 1988” and the “This is us” in recent years are often mentioned and compared online.
Overview of family dramas at home and abroad, the family model dominated by parents from top to bottom has already undergone earth-shaking changes. This issue of the whole media (ID: quanmeipai) starts from “Little Joy” and takes you on how to break the traditional narrative and tell the emotional flow and common growth between parents and children.
01.Parents’ “weakness” and children’s “bearing”
Adults are just forbearing, just busy with the adults, just using the pretense to be strong and responsible for the age. Adults can also hurt.
——”Please answer 1988″
The middle-aged people who have the old and the young are usually the ones who are under the most pressure from society and family, and face various problems in health, career, parenting, and emotion. For example, the parents of the three families in the drama have suffered from different levels and different forms of middle-aged crisis: Ji Jia’s mother Liu Jing is gentle and understanding, but suffers from breast cancer. After Song Qian’s divorce, her heart is extremely insecure. Both the wife and the wife are also unemployed with debts caused by their parents being cheated.
In the face of these life dilemmas, parents always choose to silently bear, hiding their own vulnerability and helplessness. Perhaps parents have long been accustomed to playing the role of superman in the presence of children, only in the dead of night or when drinking three trips, through the night and alcohol to find emotional exports.
“Little Joy” did not deliberately ignore the depiction of the middle-aged crisis. Instead, it used a lot of pen and ink to delineate and expose the embarrassment and helplessness of these hidden middle-aged human faces. For example, the frustration of Fang Yuan’s death from the death of Jin Yong’s life is a dripping display of the typical emotions of middle-aged people.
In the process of family parent-child emotional communication, parents often ignore the important role of children. In their eyes, children are always children. These crises and problems do not need to be shared with children. Therefore, in the event of a crisis, The first reaction of parents is to hide rather than tell.
“The hardships of middle-aged people, you know it”
But in fact, children have their own responsibilities, not only with the ideals and courage to make claims for their own lives, but also to share more with their parents, giving parents a seemingly weak and important spiritual support. Children are more eager to communicate in a sincere and equal manner than parents who are in a high position. Therefore, whether in the hit drama or in real life, the “showing weakness” of the parents makes their emotions visible, which is also a good start for the equal exchange between parents and children. But how to talk, is still going on.
02.Timely expression of love and emotion in time
The three groups of families in “Little Joy” have their own contradictions to face. For Qiao Yingzi, how to get rid of the omni-directional control of the single mother while listening to the emotions of the single mother Song Qian is the main cause of her anxiety; the season victory for the work outside the year, Liu Jing and the couple need to be renewed. Learn how to get along with the son of the rebellious period, Ji Yangyang; and Tong Wenjie not only has a headache in the cliff-like decline for his son Fang Yifan, but also takes into account the fragile and sensitive emotions of Lin Lei, the nephew who lost his mother.
As Liu Jing said in the play, there is always a time difference between parents and children. In these conflicting parent-child relationships, parents may be in love with their children in the best way they understand, but many times what they give and what they want is misplaced. When parents’ loves contain too much expectation, supervision, and arrangement, they tend to become a burden on the child’s heart.
Reversely, children in the play often show amazing maturity in understanding and understanding their parents. For example, Fang Yifan will take the initiative to lower his attitude and apologize after a big fight with his mother; Ji Yangyang made a shaved head to accompany his mother to receive chemotherapy after learning that his mother was ill; Qiao Yingzi knows that her mother is single-handed. It’s not easy, it’s been forbearing and compromising.
The child’s sensibility and the parents’ post-knowledge about this “intelligence” is actually a time difference of love. It intensified the contradictions and conflicts in the parent-child relationship, and reached the extreme when Qiao Yingzi made a suicide attempt to jump off the bridge because he couldn’t stand the abduction of his mother’s love.
In the class of how to love children, many parents seem to be unable to produce satisfactory answers. Fortunately, when some discordant situations occur, both parties can adjust themselves in a timely manner to find a more appropriate way to express love. These attempts may be clumsy, but serious and full of affection. Perhaps children should give their parents more time to grow and try to make mistakes. After all, every parent is not a perfect parent.
In the play, after experiencing the collapse of the British son, Song Qian finally realized that his own pressure caused the child’s psychological depression, so he tore up the accumulated test questions and score analysis table at home, and really learned to be a child. Loose. In order to relieve the psychological pressure of the third year students, the school also held a fair meeting, which actually provided an opportunity for the children to communicate with their parents. When they talked about each other in the same room, many seemingly complicated problems were solved.
03.The so-called parent and child
Yingzi was too stressed because of the pressure of learning. After being discovered by his mother, he had a big fight with his mother. After the mother who was hurt by the heart was cold, Yingzi felt extremely sad and lost. As a child of a single-parent family, although I don’t want to let my motherDominating his own life, but the inner depths of Yingzi are even more insecure and more afraid of being abandoned by their parents.
The ideal state of the family is not without confrontation and conflict, but the latter cannot be avoided by all normal families. But the so-called parents and children, like holding the ends of a rope, are constantly pulling. The dispute about love and being loved, expected or burdened is a process of pulling. No matter how both sides will not let go, they will not give up love and care.
It must be said that “Little Joy” chose the time of the college entrance examination to reflect the parent-child relationship is wise. For most Chinese families, the college entrance examination is a highly ritualized process and a sensitive point for catalyzing family conflicts. It is not a battle for the child alone, but a collective battle for the entire family. The concept of family has been strengthened and condensed during the college entrance examination.
Going through the window of the college entrance examination to see the parent-child relationship can greatly magnify the problem, which also reflects the importance of education in parent-child relationship to some extent. As soon as the college entrance examination is over, the child will soon leave the native family and experience his life as a more independent individual. Mom and Dad and you – this kind of family relationship will change slowly at the end of the college entrance examination.
As in the finale, the lens did not focus on the new life of the children after they took the university, but returned to the parents who accompanied the children after the college entrance examination. The three parents sat together again, and the children who used to be noisy around them have already moved to the next chapter of life. At the dinner table, every parent is telling the thoughts of their children, and their eyes are moist.
The child’s sadness and loss after the college entrance examination, and the silence after the most noisy, is the stage of life that most parents in the world must learn to take. Just as Huang Lei’s role at the end of the finale, parents’ greatest and simplest blessings for children are that they hope that they will be happy and happy, pure and simple, no matter how far they go.
“小欢喜” is not so much a reflection of the child’s growth before and after the college entrance examination, it is better to say that the parents are growing together with the children in the process of preparing for the college entrance examination. In this process, parents learn how to communicate, how to understand, how to let go; learn to achieve emotional communication with children in love and expectation; learn to see children go to their own future.
My love belongs to you and you belong to tomorrow
I will watch your back gradually go away
How I hope you have a happy life
Simple, pure and small world
——《小欢喜》