Don’t hate those who are clearly crowded out.
Editor’s note: This article is from WeChat public account “Spenser” (ID:spenserandhk) The author S uncle is me.
When do you feel that the workplace is cold?
My readers often leave a message to me saying that I am not afraid of overtime work, I am not afraid of being embarrassed by my boss, and I am most afraid of being excluded by my colleagues. Obviously, I work hard, but it is “can’t fit together.”
One reader said this:
“When I first entered the company, I felt that my colleagues were so cold, I didn’t chat, I didn’t want to have dinner. Fortunately, there was a takeaway, which made me cover up the shackles and loneliness that I didn’t have to eat together. Let me Not so nervous and embarrassed.”
It’s been a long time in the workplace, and you’ll find that newcomers come to an environment where colleagues don’t have enthusiasm and it’s possible to be squeezed out.
But you must not pay special attention to these things. It is a homework to enjoy loneliness. Survival in a difficult situation is a matter of learning.
1Don’t hate people who are crowded out,compared to them are good people
A lot of people don’t like loneliness, and they use a lot of energy to do a good job of colleague relationship, thinking that they can take care of each other.
This idea is actually quite naive.
In the recent “Little Joy”, there is such a story:
Children’s sister died, she wants to take her sister’s son to live in her own home. It happened that during the time, the two children had to prepare for the college entrance examination. There was no way to take time off work. As a result, the leader had opinions on her. .
Tong Wenjie didn’t care about it at first, and thought that there was a subordinate Xiaojin who helped her stare at the company’s every move. After all, she was a “single person” called by her sister.
However, when she was on vacation, the company found that her position was replaced by Xiaojin, and she became a subordinate.
The source TV series “Little Joy”, Zuo Tongwenjie, Right Xiaojin
A lot of times, people who can really hurt you in the workplace are not those who are clearly crowded out and let you be prepared. It is precisely those friends who are “brothers” with you.
You are not prepared to show off the cards and soft ribs, but instead become a dark arrow that hurts you.
Someone will ask, isn’t there a close friend in the workplace?
Don’t say how difficult it is, but it is quite dangerous.
Knowing a hot topic: What are the taboos in the workplace? One of the best answers is: Make friends with colleagues.
To tell the truth, workplace friendship is not as simple as everyone imagines, interest is contested, resources are exchanged, and many moments of turning face and not recognizing people are moments.
Even if you think you have made a good friend, it may be temporary. Once you change jobs, everyone has no intersection at work, and the feelings are getting weaker.
Think about how long ago, after you left the company, those former colleagues who have been good, have you not contacted?
The workplace is not the hatchery of friendship. You are here to make money, to achieve self-worth, and our main mind is to be used on this.
In fact, some words are quite like to say to friends who are new to the workplace. I know that many people will be full of expectations before they step into the workplace. They will hope that they can be taken care of by their predecessors. They will be liked by colleagues and will know many big cows. Make a lot of friends;
Because you think too well in advance, when the reality is in front of you, such as a colleague, you are squeezed out, causing a lot of mood fluctuations.
But I want to say that there are cold and hot in the workplace, you will meet warm people, and the probability will be cold.
This is normal, so don’t think too much.
2Great is to use grievances
We know that Huang Wei is a “zero difference” actor, but before becoming famous, he has been a South drift, a North drift, sang songs in the bar, ran over the dragon, and also spent several years dubbing.
In an interview, he said: “I know all the hooligans in these places in China. I accept these things every day, and I have to laugh at them.”
Now, Huang Hao is a fire. He can talk about how miserable he was in the past, but he can only choose to endure before he has no fire.
Not being kind to people is aggrieved, but also lonely, but as long as they have survived, these have become the help of success in the future.
A netizen shared his story:
YesWorking overtime one day, he came home at 2 o’clock in the evening. He received an email from the boss, thinking that he was encouraging himself. He did not expect to be all criticized and said that he was not working properly.
He was very wronged, and immediately rushed to write a book, arguing over 2,000 words to argue.
But after writing, calm down, he began to ponder: I am the boss, do you want such a result?
He suddenly understood, so he simply replied with a sentence, the general idea is: I will reflect on the problem of work, and then rectify as soon as possible.
He was promoted two months later. At the promotion ceremony, the boss told him about it, he said:
“I know that you are wronged, I just want to see, how do you react when you face grievances and pressures? This reflects the maturity of a person.”
You see, there is no grievance, but the time has not yet arrived.
In the workplace, we often encounter similar things and try our best to do one thing. If we don’t get the results we want, we will be misunderstood by our boss colleagues.
This is normal. Everyone’s vision is different. The criteria for judging things are different. The focus of natural investigation is different.
A lot of young people who have stepped into the workplace often fail to get out of the “self” misunderstanding. If they feel that they are working hard to do something, they should be encouraged and praised.
But bosses tend to value results and benefits more. It’s not a word to say that opening a company is not a charity.
If you want me to say that there is no result in hard work, you still want to praise, that is, you are hooligan.
You only have to look at grievances and loneliness actively, and calm down and think, in order to polish yourself better.
Moreover, you see which arrogant person has not been wronged, not alone, right.
3High quality loneliness is your breakout posture
Tolerate loneliness is an ability, and enjoying loneliness is another realm.
Of course, I said that to enjoy loneliness, it is not a person who is at home to pursue drama, licking cats, Ge Youzhen, and not to close himself up.
Loneliness without thinking is not nutritious, and it is necessary to pursue high quality loneliness.
What is high quality loneliness?
You have to know how to get out of the outside world, give some time to your heart, calm down and think, and appreciate.
You find that no one, every arrogant person, has a lonely temperament.
He Wei is the master of the “Happy Camp”, others can speak good, optimistic and cheerful, but after the people, it is a very lonely person.
At the show, you will often see such a scene: when you don’t have to work, others will get together and laugh and chat, but why don’t you stand quietly in the background, or close your eyes and rest, never bother others? .
Because of work reasons, he often travels, but once he returns to the hotel, he often stays in the room alone, rarely going to find someone to chat.
Lonely, became the base camp of He Wei.
Because of this, he has more time to think, become more focused, more patient, more considerate, and has achieved his high status in the presiding world.
It’s not really a good thing to be prosperous.
When the writer Mu Xin was 23 years old, when he was young and energetic, he resolutely left the teacher position envied by everyone and went to Moganshan alone.
Retired from the bustling, he read during the day and wrote candles at night. Even if the winter is bitter, I will continue to study and think.
6 years of lonely time, in exchange for more than 100 short stories and countless ink landscape paintings.
As well-known host Ning Yuan said: “Lonely is very necessary. What a person does in a lonely time determines the fundamental difference between this person and others.”
Lonely people can look at the world more clearly and see what they want.
“Lonely can restore people to nothing, and at the same time restore people to the most complete self-ownership.”
This is the height that a person pursues throughout his life.
High quality loneliness allows us to find the most powerful breakout posture in a difficult situation.
When we reach a certain height of life, look down and you will thank you and enjoy yourself.