Why are people suffering? It is because of absolute.
Editor’s note: This article is from WeChat public account “Feng Lunfeng Ma Niu” (ID: fengluntalk ), author Feng Lun.
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Q: Feng Shu, many young people will face confusion in their choices. For example, I recently asked my girlfriend and my girlfriend to buy a house, but the funds are limited. I want to buy a house that is slightly better, close to the city center, and I have to accept that the house is smaller and older. If you want to buy bigger and newer, you can only choose a more remote house. At this time, we are faced with a lot of confusion about choice. Can you give us some good advice?
Feng Shu: There are so many choices in life that I will “go to the fork in the road” every day. Think about it carefully, what do you choose based on? If I choose according to “Accounting”, I feel that I will never be sure.
Three things in life are not allowed. The first one is not allowed to earn much. Regardless of age, who can calculate how much money will be earned in the future? Not sure, so every day, it is very troublesome. The second one is not sure how much pain and happiness there is. Many people went to happiness, and they came back with a lot of pain. Some people thought it was pain, but they also had unexpected joys. This is too complicated. The third one is not sure when to end life in any way. I don’t know when I will die, I don’t know how to die. Health, we can’t decide; die, we can’t decide.
These three things together are called interest, bitterness, life and death. Since it is not accurate, if it is still calculated every day, it will be very tangled. How to do it? I think of a way to look at religion. How does religion solve these three things? It’s especially simple, and it’s equal. More is equal to less, less is equal to more; suffering is equal to music, music is equal to suffering; life is equal to death, and death is equal to life. The problem is solved.
I don’t have a monk, I don’t believe in religion, but I can learn religious methods. Can not draw the equal sign, draw an equal sign. More than equal to less, less than equal to more; bitterness is equal to music, music is equal to suffering; birth is equal to death, and death is equal to more. In other words, don’t absoluteize everything.
The price, or the purchase of a house, should also be such an attitude. Why are people suffering? Just because of absolute . Once absolute, you want to have a way to ensure that you can buy the lowest point and sell the highest point every time; or to maximize the utility of every penny. But this is impossible, and this is not a sure place.
So, I recommend using values to do a screening. For example, some people regard doing things as the most important thing. When buying a house, it is a priority to be concerned with doing things. Buying is close and not tossing. Some people think of their personal life more seriously, just want to have a small day, to be comfortable, then buy big, new, but far from the city. This is related to values, so the choice is not entangled. If you choose according to wealth, you will always be entangled.
When I was young, I didn’t have a house for a long time. I rented a house everywhere in Beijing. My attitude towards life is to be tossed, I can buy anything, and finally I have a suite. This is my attitude towards life. One unit I used to work on was also divided into houses, but there were conditions that I had to work there for 3 years, and then I would divide the room. I have been working there for 1 year, and I feel like I am not happy. I changed a unit. This unit can have a room for 3 years, but the premise is that it must be above the deputy level. I said, “Where can I do the Lord? I am gone again.”
It seems to be a loss, nothing, but my mind is doing what I want to do, and finally becomes a house, no longer lacking room. However, many people have been restricted by the conditions of “must be here for 3 years”, “first rise to the deputy level”, “marriage can be divided” and so on. They have been waiting for the room and still today. Live there. This is the attitude of life is not the same.
So I think that if you want to make this decision, you need to think about it first. What are the values of you and your girlfriend? Do you want to live a life, or are you willing to toss together?
大江大河|Different choices, different life
I have a friend who is doing a medical device chain and doing very well. He worked for a boss before he got married. Later, he found that entrepreneurship was very good, and he wanted to do it, but he had no money.
At this time, just married, the mother-in-law gave him a little money, and he made up some more, about 400,000, ready to buy a house. On the wedding day, he showed up with his wife. He said that he especially wanted to do something. He just had some money. Can you not buy a house and let him do it? As for the residence, first deal with it, rentI live first, can’t I?
He thought that his wife would reject him. He didn’t expect his wife to support him. He said, “Well, you have to do it, but don’t tell your parents.” He said: OK, then took the money to toss the business. The result failed, not only did it not work, but also owed money to others. But his wife did not blame him.
Then he rented a very broken house and went to work for others, or the original boss. The boss found that this young man is particularly good, where is it? Have a dream, dare to take the money to buy a house to start a business, not only have the pursuit, but also failed to accept the loss, come back to continue working. So the boss said to him, it is not like this, you don’t work, let’s do it together, I will give you some shares, you can borrow some money and do a new business.
So he started the second venture again. This time it was a success. After the success, he not only slowly bought the boss’s shares back, he became the boss, and now the house car has everything, everything looks good. After he succeeded, he bought a big house and they told the mother-in-law about it. The mother-in-law is very proud. “Look, it’s not a blind eye. This son-in-law is OK.”
Life is like this. Decisions based on values are never regretted, but there are always regrets when making decisions through wealth.