The pressure of the circle of friends is an old topic, but what is the feeling of pressure at the end, where does it come from, can it be solved, and needs to be solved? The author will take care of this issue around social pressure.

Editor’s note: This article is from “Everyone is a product manager“, author of the North .

First, the pressure of dynamic publishing

01

For the dynamics, each of us is both a publisher and a recipient.

One difficulty is that when we are the recipients of information: some people’s information is basically worthy of attention to me. Some people’s information is mostly worthy of attention, a small part is not worth paying attention to; some people are small Part of it deserves attention, a large part is not worth paying attention to; and some people’s information is hardly worth paying attention to.

We actually want to block the useless information, but we can’t do it, we can only block people. And only those who are not worthy of attention are blocked. The rest of the people can’t be blocked, but there is still spam. When you see spam, there will be negative emotions, but you can’t block this person. He occasionally sends out some information that he has to see.

As a releaser, you can decide who to release each message to. This problem has become clear. In addition to the function of completely blocking some people from viewing my information, the information release party can release different information to different people according to the situation. The recipient of the information, except for one who completely shields some people from releasing information, can only passively receive information. That is to say, the screening of useless information is actually solved by the initiative of the former. This is formed by the game. We know that we will hate useless information, so we will actively exclude useless information.

If social pressure is about half a day when sending messages, then this is indeed an improvement. I don’t want to see useless information. We need this pressure.

02

As for those who edited and finally did not send out in their hearts, it may not be a question of the function of the circle of friends. The complete anonymous social products have not seen the fire because people need a positive response from friends. These words are more suitable for one-on-one private friends or lovers in the contact list. Or, you are missing these people who know yourself. This is not a stress problem in the circle of friends that prevents you from sending messages. There is no such person.

As for the demand of intimate friends, how deep is it, how common it is, and how to find people who are intimate. This is another big problem. Not yet expanded.

Second, the pressure of interactive dynamics

(PS: This section has a lot of personal subjectivity)

The interactive area under dynamics is also the release and receiving side of information.

When used as the receiving end of the information, lookTo the friends’ dynamics, other friends’ comments and comments, but can’t see them interacting under their own dynamics, it shows that their relationship with me is just an understanding, not awesome is annoying.

When it is used as the information release end, sometimes even if you want to like comments, consider that it will be discovered by others, and you will not be able to interact with him.

Overall, in the praise and commentary, even if only the common friends are visible, but still more station information receiving end, so that people want to see more, and rarely want to be seen. But I think people don’t need to look at other people at this point, and they don’t want to be seen by others.

When you socialize offline, you often see people with 3 or more people talking hot, but this happens without anyone else observing them.

(But what happens if a circle of friends becomes interactive and only visible to themselves?)

Three, the pressure of the inexplicable circle of friends

The source of stress may be more than the above two, what the circle of friends contains.

  • A dynamic event has 3 parties, dynamic masters, likes commentators, observers. The appearance of a message is often the result of a successful 3-party game.

  • Emotions are not dualistic, but the way of expression is a duality.

  • The intimacy of the buddy list is a pedigree, stronger than the stranger, the relationship is normal, the relationship is okay, the relationship is good, the relationship is very good. The relationship is very good and only a small part.

  • The buddy list is a hierarchical tribe, which is a little worse than yourself, and is better than yourself. And each person participates in multiple tribes at the same time, and people often transfer tribes.

  • Private chat is a strong transmission of information. A circle of friends is a weak transmission of information. A weaker one is only sent to your own photo album. Others take the initiative to look at it, and then it is anonymous information and only visible to itself.

  • Active inquiry, topping, and strong reminder are the strong reception of information. It is a strong reception to take the initiative to go to the other album, and then passively receive the circle of friends and block the circle of friends.

  • The richness of functions to meet the delicate needs of the heart and the ease of function are not troublesome and do not interfere with the contradiction between the eyes.

  • A conflict between the needs of a person as a releaser of information and the needs of the recipient of the information.

  • Personal energy resources are limited and there are too many friends.

  • Information dissemination will be distributed to people who are slightly lower than their level to an infinitely high level; information reception will receive people who are slightly lower than their level to infinity.

  • The release of information is sometimes a benefit release sometimesThe claim of interest, the recipient of the information is the same, and under one event, one party does not necessarily lose the other party.

  • Everyone wants to get more positive emotions and less negative emotions.

  • A person is multifaceted and dynamic, and the relationship with people is dynamic.

  • Wait

A seemingly small circle of friends is so much involved that it’s so big and stressful. How to sort out this sense of pressure?

Fourth, the problem is solved

Recall carefully that the pressure is actually the pressure we have when acting as a releaser and when the recipient is going to be the releaser. There is no pressure when we are completely a recipient of information. To give a special case, in the face of a small amount of praise we received, as a recipient of information, we are just frustrated, and when we think that this information will be seen by other friends (at this time, the identity has been transformed into a message release party), It is a sense of pressure.

The sense of stress is a feeling that people want to shrink and want to avoid. This also justifies the feeling that pressure is a feeling when the information is released. The release of information itself is a state of expansion. The feeling of stress is not a complex sense of a half-day, but a final decision not to send. Although the feeling of stress is a negative feeling, it is also a feeling of good for us. The pressure is to let us take the initiative not to release the information, because it will be detrimental to ourselves.

The direction of resolving the sense of stress is naturally clear: to favor the interests of the release party.

Back to the topic, we also need some social pressure. Because we are also recipients of information, if we are too biased towards the release side, there will be less information receivers. To balance the conflict of interest between the two, as for the proportion of the number of information releases and the number of times the information is received, I don’t know.

With the heat, it’s better to take a deeper step and think about the more essential things about social behavior:

01 Looking for social essence

(1) What is the process of social processes

The two sides of the social have two main characteristics: their respective values, and the degree of relationship. The former is not necessarily synchronized; the latter must be synchronized. There are different social features after arranging combinations.

I think that socialization is the behavior of detecting, maintaining, preparing, conducting, responding, etc., from the perspective of these two perspectives.

A social behavior is to prepare for the subsequent transfer of benefits. A social behavior is the transfer of benefits itself. There are many situations in which an acquaintance socializes, and the latter often belongs to the former.

(2)Social origin

An ancient period is a group of tribes that lasted for a particularly long time.Form of life. The main features are tribal hierarchy and cooperative competition. (Knowledge limit, this section cannot be expanded yet)

(3) Current Social Forms

People have long since escaped the environmental impact of the physical world. People live in society and cultural information. And the social form is constantly changing. The current society is significantly different from the past and the future trend I think is: constantly changing the tribe, one person involved in many tribes, because the problem of survival gradually becomes more difficult and moves toward individualism. Cultural needs are increasing, and the growing cultural needs of people are in conflict with the backward supply of culture.

(4)Comparing offline social places with online social places

People: People in the offline life are living together for a long time. Usually, up to 4 or 5 people participate in a social interaction. In addition to offline migration, there are other people who are involved in a social activity. Even if it only looks).

Information: Many times offline communication is natural, passive, real-time; many situations on the Internet are nothing to find things to interact with.

Emotion: The emotions under the line are particularly rich, people can easily release and receive rich emotions naturally; the online has to pay attention to express emotions, and not enough.

(5) Summary of this section

Due to knowledge restrictions, each section of this section cannot be fully expanded.

——From the essential analysis of transcending time and space; the change of social form from the human source to the present and the future, and the consequent changes in the form of communication. For each small area of ​​social interaction, we must also observe each small area.

02 Looking to the future

The reason why online socialization is difficult is because there are huge differences between online and offline environments.

Online social is a new way. Different apps have their own differences with offline social interactions, and the innumerable behavioral habits of people are still suitable for offline social forms, although online socialization has great convenience across geography and time. Sudden changes in the environment, there are still many unexpected feelings that are difficult to adapt.

In the future, there is definitely a change in the instinct that is not a human instinct, but an online environmental structure.