The necessary rules for survival in the workplace
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Editor’s note: When your boss suddenly tells you, when we have to talk, what is your first reaction? doubt? panic? Do not understand? Emotions are important, but you must know more about how to deal with it. In short, adjust your emotions first, collect the information you might use, and keep confident to communicate with your boss, but don’t forget to give feedback afterwards. This article is translated from medium, article author Chris Bergen, original titleYour Boss Says “We Need to Talk”. Here’s Your Next Move.
Image source: Joshua Ness on Unsplash
Imagine your boss letting you see him, and you don’t even know what will happen. Maybe the boss will ask some ambiguous words, such as “Can I talk to you” or invite you to “talk a few words” through the device. Maybe the boss will reveal some topics in the exchange, but you are still uneasy about the upcoming conversation. You may feel that you have taken too many sick leave, or have done something inappropriate, but in general you are sure you are in trouble.
However, being called by the boss is a normal part of office life and a key experience for you as a part of the company, so don’t panic – after all, you are not the only one who is alarmed.
If you take the right attitude and are ready to meet your boss, you will be much better than what I described in the previous paragraph.
Looking at my experience as a manager – after all, I have had such conversations with my employees many times, and I have had such conversations as a manager and my own boss. So in this article, I will share my experience to help you cope with the boss’s “confrontation” in a good state.
“Skills vs Attitude”
Most managers use the “skill vs. willingness” approach when assessing employee performance or behavior. It is widely believed that if employees have the willingness to learn,And have a strong desire to do their own work, then even if there is a slight lack of skills, it does not matter. As a manager, I am willing to go to the ends of the earth to find a staff who is willing to struggle – he will do his best in the work, accept all kinds of ideas, and put these ideas into practice. However, if an employee is negative and does not want to excel in his work, then mastering more skills can’t make up for his lack of work attitude.
If you are an employee with no enthusiasm for work, then it is time to do some self-reflection and consider your situation. Have you found a suitable job? Does external factors affect your work? If so, how do you distinguish the impact of the two? What can you do to change your mindset?
Your goal when talking to the boss should be to let him know that no matter what problem he has had before, it is a skill problem, not a work attitude. This argument is at the heart of this paper’s recommendations.
Next, let’s get started.
First step: Don’t be too harsh on yourself
Your boss just let you go see him, now you are worried about what happens when you meet for a while. You may be thinking, “Will he reprimand me?”, “Does he let me give up on a project?” or “Do they reduce my work shift or even fire me?”
This meeting will make you feel worried, especially when the boss is more vocal, the worse your mentality is. This is normal, so don’t feel embarrassed.
It’s important to recognize these feelings and show empathy to yourself. The concept of empathy for yourself includes “keeping understanding and tolerance for what is happening inside us”. This may include paying attention to our thoughts and judgments, paying attention to our feelings, and most importantly, paying attention to what affects our needs.
Step 2: Think about it from your boss’s point of view
As the boss, the most important part of the job is guidance and feedback. Their job is to schedule meetings to discuss your actions or the quality of your work. So you may wish to try to put yourself in the shoes and think about how to deal with this situation if you are the boss, which will help you understand their thinking.
Elocation thinking requires you to bring yourself into the environment in which the person is, and then consider everything he cares about and care about…not simply to understand what he says. Thinking is an understanding of the mind. In this understanding, we see the beauty of others, the energy of others, the life of them… but this does not mean that we must feel the same to them.” /p>
I know that your boss sometimes makes it hard for you to understand them. They may communicate with others ambiguously and even negatively. I really can’t tolerate this situation because I think every manager should actively improve their communication skills. However, I am writing this article not to tell the manager what to do, but to tellWhat should you do with the manager, because you can’t control how others talk to you, but you can control your understanding and reaction to the information.
So, you can practice your own effective communication skills. If other people behave like a jerk, go with them. Their influence on you is absolutely not as great as your own influence.
Step 3: Maintain the correct mindset
For yourself and your boss, the goal of this conversation is to give you clear expectations of future work or behavior when you are out of the office. To do this, you need to be prepared in two ways:
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First, keep the right mindset
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Second, predict and collect the information you might use in this conversation
If your time is too late to prepare for these two things, then I suggest you choose to maintain the correct attitude. You can get through this meeting with a good attitude (and lack of information), but if you are closed or cling to the gap, then there is not much information.
Here are a few ways to keep you in mind:
Keep your confidence
Remind yourself that you are a qualified employee and a suitable candidate for this job. I think that when you interviewed this job, you competed with several other people. After weighing the pros and cons and doing a background check, the personnel manager thought that you are the right person for the job. At that time, it is still the same today, so it is no big deal to be confident.
Clearing ideas
Before the conversation started, your biggest enemy was fear and anger. So I suggest that you spend some time alone before you talk, sort out your thoughts, remove the noise from your mind, and drive away your anxiety. I like to walk outside, watch some plants, meditate or write something in the diary. If I am hungry, I will eat snacks (after all, when the conversation is suddenly called, it will be a very embarrassing thing). If you can, don’t play with your phone or talk to others. From my experience, these are distracting things that will fuel rather than eliminate anxiety.
Think about what you can gain from this meeting
After you have adjusted your mindset and feel calm and peaceful, think about how you have grown from this meeting. See what you can learn from this conversation, make your future performance in the workplace more exciting, or see if you can see the trend of the industry in this conversation, making this talk a springboard in your career. In this way, one day you can say: “It was that meeting that gave me what I needed to succeed.”
I like my employees to be ready to talk, collaborate and share their conversations during the talks.Idea and try to solve the problem. The last thing I like is that an employee walks in and hopes that I will tell them what to do next so that they can leave as quickly and as easily as possible. This kind of behavior reminds me that I am still a child. When my mother is angry with me, if I keep quiet and agree to everything she said, she will end up more quickly, so that I can return to my own. The room went. When an employee does this, I don’t have much confidence in whether things will change, because I feel that I will have such a dialogue with them soon.
Tell you a little trick. When I meet my boss, I like to think about them and try to learn from them. If you ask for advice and your boss generously gives you advice, this is a good opportunity for high risk/high return, you better stick to it! For example, if an employee asked me to make a suggestion, I did the same, then they accepted the advice and told me what they thought, and I must be impressed with their commitment. However, if they ask me for advice but don’t implement it at work, it will leave me with an impression that they are not really interested in becoming better, and then whether to develop for them in the future. Opportunity is doubtful. So, if you are not willing to follow the advice given by the boss, you better not open your mouth!
Step 4: Collecting information
Although we are now talking about an unclear conversation, I still recommend that you do some preparatory work when time permits.
First, consider what the boss had expected of you before. In the past, did he tell you what they want you to bring to participate in these conversations? For example, every time my boss is looking for me to talk, I will ask for a printed sales order or project work plan. If your boss usually expects such a thing to happen, then even if they don’t ask for it, you have to take the initiative.
Secondly, review the notes you made when you talked to your boss last time, and be prepared to express your opinions and opinions on any outstanding issues. If you haven’t gotten the habit of taking notes on the conversation, then develop this habit immediately, and then do it every time.
Third, put a list of all the projects or tasks you have on hand, then write down some key points so that you can know what to do. Knowing when you should do what you are doing, what your recent work is focused on can make your boss relax. In addition, if your boss shows a little interest in your arrangements and priorities, this is also a good opportunity to ask for advice. If they show your approval, you will succeed!
However, I will put any printed things in my notebook – if this conversation is about behavioral issues, it would be a bit silly to sit there with a file full of sales figures. .
Step 5: During the conversation
When you sit down, remind yourself what your goal is. When your forehead is sweating, when you are worried about what the boss will say to you later—for example, “Do you know why I let you here today?” – remember that you are here to grow up . The following points are what you should do:
Make sure to take notes
Be sure to write down the date and write down the subject of the discussion so that you can review the meeting later. I prepared a separate notebook for a similar one-on-one conversation, so relying on you can easily recall the previous conversation without having to look through the old notebook.
Attention to body language
Go into the ground, stand straight, faceless, stay awake. You are not reporting to the office of the Director of Academic Affairs, nor are you scolded by your parents, so don’t behave as if you are in trouble. The office is a professional working environment and everyone is dignified.
After sitting down, keep a good posture. Keep your back straight and your feet flat on the floor. Doing this is to send your boss a clear signal that you care about him.
Although I suggest that you work energetically, don’t try to use too much friendship to downplay this situation, because this conversation is very likely to be about serious things, you definitely don’t want to leave a cynical to the boss. The impression.
Even if you are only one step away from being fired, your body language will tell your boss whether you are prepared to take the necessary action to reverse the situation, or if you have given up, just waiting for the fate of the fate.
Ask the question clearly
You don’t want to end this conversation with unsolved questions and uncertainties. You want to know the boss’s requirements for your behavior, quality and timing.
No matter how your boss expresses his or her thoughts, you must focus on listening to his potential feelings, needs, and requirements. You can retell the boss’s words and use your compassionate observations to emphasize their feelings and needs. For example, you can say this:
Let me see your requirements: What you care about is my ability to manage time. I have not completed the task three times this month before this deadline. This affected my colleagues, because they couldn’t continue without their work, and the whole team was behind schedule. Your expectation for me is that I need to complete the project I am responsible for before the deadline. I assure you that I will complete my project tasks on time, and I will remind myself on the schedule to improve efficiency and prioritize tasks. If I have a risk of falling behind, I need to let you know immediately. In addition, if I can’t do it, I might not be able to keep my job. Look, what am I missing?
This kind of summary feels a bit embarrassing and even a bit painful, but you will eventually know what you need to do, so it is worth it.
Step 6: Follow up
After meeting, don’t forget to send a message to your boss to summarize the conversation. I like to receive follow-up emails from employees after they meet, basically repeat what you said in the previous step. If the talks are informal, you can say this:
Thank you for taking the time to talk to me today. I know that I need to complete a certain task before a certain date, and you also want me to pay special attention to certain things. I will give you feedback before a certain date.
This kind of information makes me convinced that employees understand what we are talking about, and I don’t need to monitor them because they already know what they should do.
It’s a very simple matter to send an email, but it will make everyone breathe a sigh of relief.
After you send the email, congratulations to you, you successfully passed this conversation!
Write at the end
I hope the tips in this article will help you!
The scene I described may be a terrible existence for you. Fortunately, you don’t often (or never) encounter this kind of scene.
However, the workplace is full of people, so most of us still need to improve communication skills. So, you’d better deliberately train yourself so that you can behave in this impromptu conversation with your boss.
In most cases, we can solve many problems in the workplace through effective communication. Try the steps in this article. If you still have problems, you can ask the personnel department for further assistance.
Thank you for taking the time to read, I wish you a smooth conversation with your boss next time!
Translator: Xitang