This article is from WeChat public account:New Weekly (ID: new-weekly) , author: Li another two, from the title figure: the movie “baby plan” official stills
Recently, an eight-year-old programming video lecturer “Primary School Vita Jun” appeared on the Internet. His programming teaching video was broadcast a million times, and he was invited by Apple to visit.
When the marketing number and the media focused on the title of programming genius, the genius’s full-time father behind the education suddenly became popular.
Comment area Because the father is frying, many people have said, “Give me a daddy.” “If I have to resign, I will be a full-time father.”
Vita Jun and Dad/@新民晚报新民网
From the widowed childcare that people pay attention to, mothers are still the main force to take care of their children. Full-time fathers and housewives are just a very small group, rarely appear in public discussion.
A survey said that full-time fathers account for about 2% of the father’s group, and the Shanghai area with developed economy and open minds. According to the statistics of the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences, the proportion of full-time fathers only accounts for about 10% of full-time parents.
The attitude of this youth to the return of men to the family has changed a lot. According to a survey conducted by the China Youth Daily this year, more than half of the men in the married youth interviewed are in favor of the full-time father of the male, and that the father’s companionship helps the child develop a good character. The approval is in favor, but if it is the self or the other half of the family who says to resign as a housewife, it is still not very willing. The reality lies in several mountains in front of the family woman: economic pressure, public opinion pressure, and personal mentality.
The employment situation is even more severe. There are more people crying “do not want to go to work”. There are too few men who have the courage to escape from the workplace and go home to do housework to take care of their children.
Men can also make the work of “full-time daddy” very vivid and fascinating. /Mapworm Creative
Eating soft rice, relying on women is the original sin
The biggest discrimination against family women is the uselessness of men eating soft rice.
For a long time, under the tradition of “male outside, female insider”, the standard of a man’s success depends on his career and his ability to make money to support his family. The adjectives such as “the pillars” and “the head of the family” directly represent the role of men in the family.
So, most people have internalized the social requirements for men, and career success is often placed first in life goals, higher than family happiness.
Clan relations create the absolute authority of men in the family. / “White Deer”
The emergence of family women, this model is reversed, and it is understandable that it cannot be accepted by society at once.
The voice against men as a housewife is that if a man gives up his job, it means he may lose his independent source of income.
Males who want to go to work have turned in their homes and are often at the lower end of the food chain at home. Then men who don’t make money should ask their wives for money when they buy anything. The status at home may not be as good as pets.
There is no job, no income, and what can be measured by men’s self-worth. This concept is not just for men to believe, even their other half is convinced. In the variety show “Mama Mia”, a couple of “female-minded, male-only” self-introduction said that the husband usually heard the most in the community, “a Northeastern lord should go out to earn money to support the family, every day at home. Milk children cook.”
The husband listened to his habits, but his wife felt very embarrassed.
“Family cooking husband” is often not understood by society. / “Mama Mia”
Beyond the ridicule of public opinion, family women and men will also face the incomprehension of the elderly at home. It is also difficult to introduce themselves at a social occasion and when others introduce themselves to a “cooking at home, bringing children”.
After staying at home for a long time, those brothers who have accumulated their own work and work hard together, and the students who have been promoted to open new stores will slowly lose their topic. The most deadly thing is that doing housework at home with children sounds like an escape from being lazy and not going to work, just wanting to be raised at home.
The superposition of prejudice has made many family members physically and mentally exhausted. Round tableThe guests also pointed out that in this kind of female strong male and weak combination, men are also likely to change their minds because of inferiority.
A full-time dad doesn’t mean to be safe. / “Round Table”
Not only in Asia, housewives are also biased in other regions. In addition to the Nordic region where food and clothing are worry-free and maternity leave can be shared with her husband, other regions also regard those men who push the stroller to buy food on the street as a loser without ambition and middle-aged unemployment.
In the UK, two-thirds of housewives still think that going to work is more fulfilling than watching a child at home. Last year, the US survey said that the number of full-time fathers has doubled from 30 years ago, with more than 2 million people. However, more than half of the people in this area have to become family women because of their physical condition, unemployment, study, retirement and other reasons. Only 24% of men are the ones who choose to take care of their families.
In the post-2008 recession, the male-dominated industry was more exposed, and layoffs far exceeded other industries, such as construction and manufacturing.
The number of laid-off men was more than double that of women during the year, and the number of full-time dads has also increased to the peak since 1989. It can be seen that involuntary and objective economic factors are the main reasons that affect men as family women.
The middle-aged laid-off man is either reorganizedIf you are a fan, you can only return to your family. / “Little Joy”
Hangzhou Almighty Dad, who used to brush the screen, can also guide the children to the Olympics, all inclusive. Few people can notice the opportunity of his return to the family. It is a serious injury after surgery. It needs to be nursed back to the body. It is half forced to be semi-voluntary.
The men who say “can give everything for the children” are still difficult to put down the regular work, but also suffer from public opinion pressure and uncertain psychological risks to become a housewife.
Housewives are not open to everyone
Under the pressure of all parties, what is the choice of a housewife? Are there no mortgages, financial freedom, so can you stand and talk without hurting?
Assume that in Beijing, to maintain a medium quality of life, the family spends 500,000 a year. If there is no deposit accumulation, it is very difficult for anyone to resign and go home. Taking Hong Kong, which has a higher income, as an example, the example of one person raising a family is very common. It is normal for a full-time mother to leave the workplace, and there are many full-time fathers.
But the full-time fathers interviewed in the media are middle-class families after 70s and 80s, with high academic qualifications and good family conditions. And they don’t give up their jobs for a long time. When children go to school, they plan to return to the workplace. Such groups choose to turn around in their careers because they realize that they can find a career many times, and that their child’s childhood is only once.
The former Goldman Sachs executive director Huang Ren gave up the job that required continuous travel because he found that when he got home, the 8-month-old son did not recognize his father, so he had to stop and rethink his work and family. the weight of.
Because of “full-time daddy”, I know the greatness of a full-time mother. / “Daddy of Dad”
Because Dad will bring children to be rough, choose “stocking mode”. The Internet generally agrees that the children brought by Dad are more adventurous. Since childhood, they have a more rational and logical way of thinking, which will help them in their studies and work in the future.
Even some studies also say that dad’s companion can increase the child’s intelligence. Perhaps it is just to see the advantages of these educational children. Men who have the conditions to temporarily work full time will choose to suspend their work and spend time investing in their children.
After most of the media’s vision, there is no room for chatting to develop a better space for children. Deciding which side to take care of children at home is mainly due to economic considerations. Then whoever makes more money, whoever is raising a family. If a wife’s income can maintain the family’s original standard of living, many men are willing to resign as full-time fathers.
The heroine Jules in the film “Intern” is the founder of the Internet company. It is sure that the income can support the whole family. There is no problem in the daughter’s private kindergarten plus several interest classes.
For this family, probably few people will oppose the husband as a housewife and take care of the wife of the pillars.
When a “strong woman” brings glory to women, it also puts tremendous pressure on them. /Intern
In the answer to a similar question that knows “when is the feeling of full-time father”, the full-time father’s wife is highly educated, earning money, engaged in law, insurance, business, etc., many of them are management, income can Achieve a monthly salary of more than 20,000, and even more than one suite. In large cities where men’s and women’s incomes are gradually equal, women’s ability to absorb gold is slightly better in many industries.
Farnoosh Torabi, the author of “When She Earns More”, also said that “the increasing trend of full-time fathers also reflects the improvement of women’s social and economic status. On average, pre-marital women’s education and earning power are gradually surpassing that of men. “.
Whether the couple, who is the owner, is for the whole family. / “My family is small”
In a special industry like entertainment and beauty, women and men who are weak and weak are quite common. Like the couples of Rose and Li Chengzhen, after the marriage, the post-mortem singer filming and recording programs could not stop. In contrast, Li Chenghao’s acting career was not warm, so he became a full-time father.
A family with an ordinary income, who wants one of them to be at home full-time, is a difficult choice. Even the famous full-time father, Ang Lee, his wife, Lin Huijia, is a medical doctor and is engaged in scientific research. During the United States, his wife had to raise a family salary. Their most grand meal was KFC, until Li An wrote “The Wedding Banquet” and “Pushing Hand” six years later.
Li An’s six-year “family cook”, in exchange for a “pushing hand”.
So family women and men are not likely to make money at all. There are many people who work part-time freelance, such as designing, writing, writing code, and stock trading. Income may not be as full-time as working, but in order to keep up with the outside world, family women and men will read and read newspapers, learn new technologies, and research.
The father of “primary school vitajun” decided to work full-time at home because his son had a social disorder when he was a child. The main part-time job is to translate books, make videos and cut videos for his son. In addition, of course, there are some people who are a male character. For example, because they are not strong, they are very social, they like children, they are outside.The opportunity to show your talents is left to your wife.
Someone thinks that in Hangzhou, I want a full-time home, calculate a child’s living expenses, tuition and mortgage, and the family monthly income is at least 30,000 to 40,000, and then dare to resign. In reality, the choice of a housewife and a full-time father is not for every family. Most of the family husbands and wives are working. They can only be looked after by the parents of both parents. In the community, the old people are strolling in the morning.
Even if you are a senior agent, you can’t deal with a difficult child. / “Neighboring Agents”
The division of labor is a compromise.
Although there are conditions and resources to resign to be a family woman, but to carefully understand the work content and duration of each family woman, you will find that eating soft rice is just a good imagination. In the end, you will still find it easier to go out to work.
In “Superman Story 2”, Superman’s super powers were banned, which led to the need for a person to work to support the family. Mom Holly and Dad Bob discussed who went out to work, and finally Holly was selected to participate in the rescue operation. . Although Bob has a sense of loss in his heart, he still comforts his wife. “You can rest assured that there is nothing I can do to take care of the family.”
As a result, Bob found that the home was a more terrifying battlefield than work. The three discerning bosses are the eldest daughters of the rebellious period, the second son of the middle-aged chicken flying dog, and the baby son who needs to take care of them 24 hours a day. When you open your eyes, you should make breakfast for the whole family, serve your child to wash clothes, send your children to school, clean the house, prepare dinner, accompany the children to fight, and counsel the homework. Superman dad with divine power is also frustrated.
Full-time daddy, not so easy to do. / “Superman Story 2”
Moreover, we are not Superman in reality. The hard work of full-time fathers and mothers and the value of family labor are always ignored. Previously, some media also calculated accounts for domestic full-time mothers. The labor costs of monthly expenses, housekeeping fees, and children’s education fees are no less than the income of ordinary white-collar workers, and they are starting to work at a glance every day. Hugh.
In the film, Superman Bob is not very willing to do housework, but still for the other half, taking on the responsibility of family women. This point has surpassed many “business success” men who are lying on the sofa after going home from work and waiting for their wife to do everything.
In the country, it seems that many elderly people have to work for their children, and they have to take care of family solutions. To retreat, the return of women to the family is also the end of a symbolic expectation.
The idea of being a full-time father didn’t go into the heads of many people. In the end, women do housework and go out to make money. The absence of men in the family has led to countless women who can only be widowed. While encouraging women to go out of the workplace while discriminating against men returning to the family without taking responsibility, it reflects the unhealthy environment in which we are in a public opinion.
In 2014, Suarez, who was banned by FIFA, returned home and started a full-time dad. /Mapworm Creative
Search online for full-time women, women, and other related words. The results are full of anxiety and anxiety. Women should be treated like domestic mothers.If you are motivated, you will be abandoned by the society.
The original choice is only a personal life form, which is invisibly magnified, and the keyboard warriors holding different ideas compete in the comments to discuss how others should live.
The increase in family women is gratifying. It reflects the fact that more people are beginning to understand the hard work of both women and women. Studies have shown that the exchange of family roles can enhance the feelings between members, understand each person’s contribution to the family, and benefit both the physical and mental health.
Family role swaps make each other understandable. / “Men’s Help”
Many full-time fathers who post online messages, in addition to the income of both parties, also consider the influence of both sides’ personality and wife’s resignation on her career.
Considering your own resignation, there will be more choices to return to the workplace. Some consider that the wife does not like to bring children, do housework, and think that physical strength is more suitable for themselves. What’s more because the wife’s postpartum physical recovery is slow, and it is too hard to take care of the children. It is a matter of reluctance to take care of the whole family.
And a new group of housewives and men, after learning the hardships of doing housework and caring for children, are more brave enough to go online to speak for their companions. For example, Glen Henry uses video to record his experience of this new character. The video of the two sons has more than three million hits online.
He thinks that the significance of being a full-time father is to let the child feel what “love” is like from Dad. Use your own way to let more people know that “the family division can still be like this, such a family can also be very happy.”
Glen Henry and two sons playing games/via.Beleaf In Fatherhood
Why can’t we allow some people to like to pursue dreams at work, and some people can find their own existence value in the family.
The formation of the family is the need for continuous tempering and compromise between the two parties. Therefore, family women and full-time fathers should not be discriminated against. They just assume family responsibilities in their own way.
It is a pity that the model of “male male, female outside” cannot be turned into reality for the time being, but you can try not to let the female alone “main inside and outside the main”.
References:
[1] “Men and women outside the house” are changing? Are there full-time dads around you, Guangming Daily, 2019-08-22
[2] Full-time daddy fashion is still helpless, Henan Daily, 2008-09-24
[3]Happy to see “Full-time Dad” in Shanghai, Dongfang.com, 2007-03-30
[4]Teaching Olympiad Contractor Housework Hangzhou has such a group of full-time fathers, Metro Express, 2019-10-05
[5] “This world” full-time mother has a labor value of $70,000 a year! , Sun Rukong, Curiosity Daily, 2015-04-09
[6] More and more full-time dads, close to a quarter because they can’t find a job, Sheng Haitao, Curiosity Daily, 2018-06-13
[7] “Family husband” with children with higher IQ, family doctor online integration, China Daily website, 2