High-end skills for camouflage high-level programmers
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Editor’s note: Some people want to be high-level programmers who are disguised. When they are young, they are very cool and look very mysterious. Life is short, not as good as performance. The staff is not as good as the performance. This article was translated from the original article entitled “How To Fake Being a Good Programmer” in medium.com.
Programmers are wizards – they are the kind of seemingly poor and ragged characters, but they can use magic to turn coffee into code. I don’t know magic, I am just a magician. My job is to pretend to be a high-level programmer, but I may not actually be that good.
My camouflage skills are very good and can be regarded as a very successful liar. I lied to some businessmen who invited me to be their technology partner. I lied to engineers, and they even consulted me about general artificial intelligence. But some of my actions even feel like a very powerful programmer, so that the Ministry of Justice has asked me for advice. I would like to ask me about using Visual Basic to create a GUI interface to track the ip address of a serial killer. .
Secret: What matters is not what you know, but what you show.
The real programmers are actually very boring and boring because they are overwhelmed by reality. But the magician is different. The magician is only limited by imagination. He is free to perform the most complex plots, the more erotic the better. The public’s impression of hackers is mostly from the scenes of carnival and sex. So you can pretend to be a very small group of people like hackers, and use the public’s misconceptions about hackers to let them be immersed in their own illusions about you, this time you will be called a hero.
A convincing performance requires a well-designed stage because it distracts the audience from the fact that they don’t realize that you actually lack depth. In a typical sci-fi movie, software is written by stacking three-dimensional blocks together, or by touching some holograms. Of course, this is what science fiction movies can do. But in real life, you can also use some techniques to disguise yourself. The software that is closest to science fiction movies is written using a combination of three technologies. These three technologies are very old, they are decades ago. invented.
First, you need to have vim, which is a highly configurable text.This editor, it is really hard to use, so that millions of developers feel very difficult to use during use, and even some people do not know how to close this damn thing. So you only need to use it boldly, it will enhance your position among colleagues. At this time, you are like an extraordinary person, not a mediocrity of your colleagues, you will let others envy you and feel ashamed because of their mediocrity, and can provoke their editing of vim text All kinds of yearnings.
Second is tmux, a tool that allows you to open multiple panes in a single terminal window. This means you can write code in one pane, run terminal commands in another pane, and open completely useless plugins (such as audio spectrograms and oversized clocks) in the remaining panes. In general, you want to open as many panes as possible, so that others will find it cool. As far as I am concerned, I have never closed any panes. In fact, many of the panes are fixed or useless, just to make it look cool, such as a huge clock, so It doesn’t matter if I keep driving.
For example, this is my screenshot, and I am using artificial intelligence to generate some faces:
Finally, you have to master bash, a scripting language that you can use directly on the command line. Knowing bash allows you to make the most of your time on the terminal – if you leave it during your performance, your performance will not be so exciting, it is equivalent to someone suddenly turning on the cinema lights during the movie. . If you need to calculate something. Enter the following command: echo “scale=0;2 + 2” | bc. If you want to know your CPU usage. Enter the following command: mpstat | grep -A 5 “%idle” | tail -n 1 | awk -F ” ” ‘{print 100 – $ 12}’a. You know, it’s very simple.
The only thing worse than leaving the terminal is to leave the keyboard. Using the mouse is an incompetent performance. If you have a desktop computer, fix your mouse or throw it away, don’t let it tamper with your play. If you’re using a laptop, stick sandpaper on the touchpad – so you won’t move your cursor over it with your fingers.
Now, when youWhy waste the best decade of your life? Why not put your feet on the table and act like a high-level programmer? Anyway, for me, a fake celebrity is better than being a nameless soldier.
Translator: Xiaozhuo