This article is from the WeChat public account: Real Story Project (zhenshigushi1) , author: Xing Yimin, Photo by Baim Hanif on Unsplash
When college students are about to enter the society, they will always have self-doubt and hesitation. Some of them even choose to apply for a delay in graduation and delay the time to face reality. . Students who graduate late are secretive and silent in colleges and universities. What are they avoiding before they enter society?
Fang Weiyan finished, in order to escape a marriage
I want to apply for a job in the State Grid in my senior year. In November, one month before the exam, I took a train from the city where the school is located to the provincial capital for training classes. At the provincial capital, I got a call from my girlfriend on the way to the hotel.
She wants to get married for a house. At that time, his girlfriend’s mother was ill and was being treated. After the condition deteriorated, the medical expenses needed suddenly increased. My girlfriend plans to transfer the house to her own name after she marries me, and her mother can apply for more medical subsidies.
I was very resistant and rejected her directly, saying, “We can’t marry in such a hurry because of a house.” Anyway, she said, she agreed. In fact, there are always hidden dangers in our relationship. After the last girlfriend broke up with me, I realized her pursuit and accepted her.
I found out that she had a lot of negative emotions after dating. Sometimes, I felt I couldn’t bear the dark side of my lover. She often had conflicts with her roommate, came to me to complain, and cried as soon as I complained. I’m not sure how long I’ll go with her, even I thought about breaking up, but I never found a particularly good reason, so I dragged on.
The phone call of my girlfriend’s marriage, pushed the responsibility of marriage to me. Coupled with the pressure of the original exam preparation, the anxiety increased exponentially. Due to the imbalance of the mentality, I failed to pass the exam.
I want to go, I decided to apply for a year extension. In the meantime, I can have more than one year to prepare for the exam, and because of my student status, I also have an excuse not to get married. Therefore, hiding my girlfriend and family, I submitted an application to the school, and the matter was extended for a year without anyone knowing.
My girlfriend knew I was going to quarrel with me after the delay, because my decision disrupted her life plan. She thought I would graduate and work with her, but I didn’t expect that I would have to delay another year. Finally, she went to Hangzhou alone, and we started a long distance relationship. The year I delayed graduation, I noticed that my relationship with my girlfriend had flowed into the program. I downloaded a reminder software and asked it to remind me to send “good morning” and “good night” to my girlfriend every day. On the weekend, the software would remind me to call her. I took a relationship with her as a program.
In December of the next year, I am preparing to take the test again. Before the test, my girlfriend’s mother’s condition deteriorated again, and she urged me to get married again. I was already under a lot of stress in the exam, so I was upset and asked her to wait until I finished the exam. After the test, I played in Beijing for a few days, and dragged it to the end of December. I picked up her last phone call on the train that went back. She said, “Let’s break up, I promised.
This is not the first time she broke up, but it was also the first time I didn’t keep it. In order to prevent her from sending me long paragraphs of memories to keep me, I blocked all her contact information from the mailbox to the network disk.
Later, the results came out. Although I was admitted, I was assigned to a remote area. I thought I would give up the job after thinking about it. The heart disease on the power grid was finally over. Under the introduction of an acquaintance, I found a job in a state-owned enterprise and later met my current girlfriend. Although life was postponed for one year, nothing seemed to be missing.
Hong Yao I accused my parents of failing in education after the extension
I’ve been waiting for an opportunity to rebel against my parents for no reason.
Three months before graduating from university, due to the sudden revision of graduation regulations, many students find that they have to take one more innovative credit to graduate. After learning the news, I knew that the opportunity to wait for many years finally came. The students chose to complete this credit in the summer or the second half of the year, and I directly applied for delayed graduation.
I want to get rid of the image of a good boy in front of my parents. My parents have failed my education. Since childhood, they have taught me and always ignored my thoughts.Educate me in a suppressed way. When I was a kid, I secretly collected comic books, and if they found them, I could not help telling them that they would all be ripped off. Under this harsh discipline, I gradually distrusted my parents and no longer expressed my needs to them. I rarely communicated with them because I felt that I would not be treated and understood tenderly with them.
My parents were home when I informed my father of this decision over the phone. I first told my father that I wanted to apply for an extension because of insufficient credits to test their attitude. I guess they probably won’t agree, but I’m not afraid. I’ll sever the relationship in the big deal, and I can do it myself.
On the other end of the phone, my parents could n’t accept it. They decided that I must have done something wrong to end up in the end. This detonated me. For the first time, I quarreled with my parents. Through the phone, I told them all the emotions that had been suppressed for many years.
The parental education continued until I graduated from college. The call was originally because I wanted to announce my good news to my father. Before graduating, I wanted to buy a laptop for future work, so I saved money and worked part-time for two months and saved money to buy a second-hand laptop. The computer was just available when I made this call. I wanted to tell my father that I worked on my own and saved money to buy the computer. I thought my father would praise me for inspiration, but he told me directly that I was wasting time and felt that I should take the time to test my driving license.
So, I talked headlong about the decision of extension, and the hardships of these years.
I complained with emotion and excitement. When I was excited, I asked my father, “Do you love me!” I didn’t expect that this numb question didn’t change my father’s regression. He answered: “Love, but people You ca n’t just listen to good words. “
In the end, the chat ended with my father and I standing in their own positions. No one listened to the other’s position, and no one persuaded. The next day, they sent me a WeChat, questioning my decision to delay, accusing me of ingratitude.
My father really accepted my decision at the graduation ceremony. My friend and I changed clothes and went to the school hall. My father was behind us. Seeing this, my friends and I talked about how I planned to extend my life, hoping that my father would rationally and completely hear my thoughts from a stand-by perspective. After that, he never argued with me again.
For the extended period of time, they still paid me living expenses every week. Every time I take their money, I feel uneasy. Sometimes my mother will ask me what I ’m doing at school, and my dad will help me say, “He has his own arrangements.”
I actually spent a lot of time doing homework on the pros and cons of extension, weighing the pros and cons.The decision was made, so the year has gone smoothly. The school dormitory costs 1,200 yuan a year. If I rent a house in my city, it will cost 1,000 yuan a month. You don’t need to take classes to take innovative credits, you only need to design the works. Therefore, using this time to find internships and improve your graduation works is a very economical choice.
Photos from Respondents | Hong Yaobi set up a display site
For the past six months, I have been reading, working out, meeting with friends, and looking for internships. For parents, I hope they can learn to tolerate imperfect children. Only then can I have the motivation and courage to move upwards.
Is it cost-effective for Liu Yue to pass the examination after one year?
I haven’t had a clear career plan. When I was undergraduate, I went all the way to senior year, because I didn’t know where to go after graduation.
Unconsciously, I’ve always wanted to find a way to delay the time to enter society. When graduate 3 was about to graduate, my parents suggested that I take the civil service exam. I accepted it and applied for a one-year extension. Therefore, the time to enter the society was postponed again.
In April, I explained to the graduate tutor the idea of postponing the civil service exam. After being surprised, he expressed support for my decision.
I spent more than 5,000 yuan to apply for a public examination training class near the school, and began to prepare for the exam. I officially started this stolen year. From enrolling in classes in April to taking exams in December, I take classes four days a week, and spend the rest of my time working in the school lab.
Relaxation and stress are the perfect combination of the two aspects of the extension.
In preparing for the exam, I can use the school’s library and study room, and the cost of all aspects of accommodation is extremely low. On the other hand, all the students who have graduated in the same period have already seenI am economically independent, but I still do not have any income, and I have to rely on my parents to help me in my life. I feel pressured. In order to resolve this emotion, I try to devote my time to learning and divert my attention.
At the end of that year, in addition to the national exam, I also participated in the candidate examinations in many provinces.
When I received the text message from the National Examination, it was already near the New Year. I was at home with my parents to prepare New Year’s products, fry dishes and make cakes. When assessing the scores, I knew that my scores were very poor this year, and my parents also understood that only let me have a good New Year.
As expected, I failed the national exam. Although I got some offers, they all came from remote provinces. In the end, I didn’t go.
My parents asked me what I thought about preparing for so long and finally giving up in vain. When the results came out, I was really hit. But I don’t want to review the failure. I even feel that when I am about to graduate, I am going to change my thesis, submit for review, and answer these questions, which occupy most of my time and energy. I can’t tell whether I can’t face the reason for the failure of the national examination or the failure of the national examination itself.
After that, I left school and found a job in a private company. I was a professional counterpart and could get started soon after training.
As time passed, I slowly let go of that drop. But I regret to date that my application was postponed, and I feel that I wasted a year to enter the society later. Sometimes I can’t help but think, if I went out to work directly at that time, it would be good, not only did I not need to ask for money from home, but I might have saved a sum of money.
This is a lesson. It teaches me to avoid uselessness. I should plan my life in advance. After that, I will pay more attention to the time and energy to do things. Everything has advantages and disadvantages. I still have to choose.
If Jicheng is not extended, I may die suddenly in the early morning
In my senior year, I missed the research because of a bad application. When I learned that I had to take the postgraduate entrance examination by myself, I had only 3 months left. After the entrance examination failed, I decided to fight again.
Being interested in the history of ancient literature, I am going to apply for a graduate student in the Chinese Department. For this reason, in the second semester of my senior year, I chose many basic courses in the Chinese Department. There are more than 50 assignments in a semester. I took my homework very seriously. At one time, I wrote a collection of poems with only three paragraphs and wrote 3 or 40 pages of A4 paper. In order to complete the homework in good quality and quantity, my physical health began to have problems. Hair loss and weight gain were not aroused until the midterm exam preparation.I had an unexpected accident during the test season.
That morning, I stayed up all night reading a book. At 7 o’clock, my heart suddenly felt a sudden pain, and I thought I was going to die. My classmates sent me to the school hospital, and the doctor concluded that I had a heart problem because I stayed up all night.
The doctors in the school hospital are accustomed to this situation. The outside world calls the school I attended as the Top2 in China. The students are very motivated. On the other hand, the review week is stressful. Every time there are several students due Passed out of preparation for the exam and passed out. The doctor advised me not to study for at least two weeks. I was in a hurry. I stayed up late because I didn’t have enough time. I took two weeks off and couldn’t submit my homework.
Seeing that I didn’t cooperate, the doctor informed my class teacher about my condition. After that, the head teacher talked to me and recommended me a two-pronged approach—application for extension.
I used to immerse myself in studying. I didn’t know that the school still had this requirement. If you think about it carefully, if I postpone it, I will be able to do my job well and keep my body healthy. I told my parents about the situation and the decision to postpone. They knew me and supported me unconditionally.
After completing the formalities, I started moving things home.
We accompany books and books in ancient literature and history. The dormitory is full of books from the bottom of the bed, from the cupboard to the balcony. To get the books home, I ordered a truck to park in front of the dormitory building. Watching my book mixed with scattered daily necessities filled with trucks, I began to yearn for the extra year of life. After I returned home, I was able to learn in a more familiar and comfortable environment.
Photos from interviewees | Some new books were moved home before they could be unpacked
After returning home, I was sleepy for a long time due to taking medication after a long period of confusion. I lay in bed for a month and a half before I resumed my routine.
After that, I started reading at home and doing research.Son, I also set aside time to walk the dog, cook, and live a regular and healthy life.
After more than half a year’s completion, I didn’t stand still in my studies. Instead, I learned to work slowly. In September 2019, in order to visit ancient books, I ran to many libraries in Shanghai-Nanjing-Hangzhou area. Now I dare to tell my friends that I have read all the selected Song poems on the earth. In addition, I also met several teachers and classmates who have been communicating online for a long time. I am determined to engage in academic work all my life, but this year of extension left me enough time for research.
If I didn’t finish the year, I might die suddenly some morning in the second semester of senior year. I am rarely anxious now. I will take the postgraduate study again in December. After graduating from graduate school, I want to work in a university or a national library. These libraries are rich in materials, so many books.
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This article is from the WeChat public account: Real Story Project (zhenshigushi1) , author: Xing Yimin