85% of professional success comes from interpersonal skills

Editor’s note: This article comes from WeChat public account “ Sequoia “(ID: Sequoiacap), author Hong Shan.

In an article widely circulated recently, advocating success stems from diligent “10,000-hour law” accused of failure. On the way to achieving personal and career success, is personal effort more important, or external objective factors more influential. In this article, a Harvard study gives a different answer: 85% of professional success comes from interpersonal skills.

So what are the qualities of a good interpersonal person? How to make yourself more smooth in interpersonal communication? What about real, solid relationships?

In order to gain more positive interpersonal relationships, this article will inspire you to keep asking yourself: Are you actively giving in your relationships with others, making others happy in your interactions; whether you can detect the emotional needs of others, Will stand up when they need support; can you celebrate the success of others as you would your own success …

The best management is nothing but mutual achievement

A Harvard study found that 85% of professional success comes from interpersonal skills. Without good interpersonal relationships, real success is difficult to achieve.

Interpersonal relationships are a core element of working, building communities, driving change, and having a healthy self-image. Among them, the most basic of interpersonal relationships is our relationship with ourselves. If we can’t build positive relationships with ourselves, relationships with others can be at stake. Good relationships are largely based on honesty and openness. We should allow ourselves to show our weaknesses to others, whether colleagues, spouses, relatives or friends. This relationship is sincere and solid.

Usually, the premise of building a good relationship with others is that you can always discover the positive aspects of life and others. They usually sincerely hope that the other party will succeed and that they are the first to celebrate for them. Beyond that, there are many ways to build real and lasting relationships. Here are five ways you can build relationships that really matter:

Give actively

The key to this approach is not only to think for others, but also to actively take action to make a meaningful contribution to the lives of others consciously and continuously. This can be a sincere compliment, a deepDeliberate reminders or deliver something they are interested in to make them happy to receive your interactive message. You should learn to think about what others want and what you can give, and a little more to build a true relationship. Life is giving constantly.

Stand up when others need support

When we are lost or frustrated, the support given by friends is often touched, and the value of this relationship cannot be overemphasized. People who can establish a strong relationship with others are often good at paying attention to others. They have an “empathy sensor”, which is in a state of high alert and can acutely detect whether a friend is experiencing difficulties-even if it is not obvious.

When friends need help, they show up, and they know what to do to alleviate their pain. They did so not because of utilitarian attempts to build relationships, but simply because of genuine concern.

Happy for the success of others

Our growth environment is often accompanied by a variety of unhealthy competitions-academic performance, sports competitions, various assessments-and it is easy to put you in a state of tension and alertness. When your friends succeed, they can easily detect whether you are really celebrating for them or you are jealous.

Ask your good friends, or ask yourself, “Who do you think will really be happy for your success?” The answer will tell you what a true, solid relationship is. People who are good at building good relationships have a lot of empathy and can rejoice in the success of others, just as they rejoice in their own success.

Keep a positive curiosity about the opinions of others

Being curious about the opinions of others means that you can stop expressing your opinions and carefully consider the opinions of others, especially if they differ from yours. Those who are good at building good relationships have these qualities. Most people are so busy expressing themselves that they can’t really listen to each other, but when we really learn to listen, we can build strong relationships.

Take more responsibility

As you learn to apologize and accept apologies, relationships and life become easier. Maintaining a relationship is more important than proving that you are right. No matter where the problem is, no matter who is wrong, some people who are good at building relationships will come forward and take responsibility. Similarly, when friends apologize, you should accept and forgive them.

We all know not to “break the bridge across the river.” Similarly, building bridges is vital. Establishing sincere relationships can help you succeed more easily at work, and can help you to be happier in life.