The power of reverse thinking.
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Editor’s note: The author of this article has identified 7 obstacles that hinder our happy life from a unique perspective, which are real and profound. Remove these obstacles from your life with exclusions and you will find yourself changing dramatically. This article is translated from Medium, author Ayodeji Awosika, the original title is “Remove These 7 Obstacles to Dramatically Transform Your Life”, I hope to inspire you.
Self-help is a great way to motivate a person. I bet you often get excited after reading an article, watching a video, or attending a seminar, etc., but will this state of excitement continue?
You want to add new experiences and new goals to your life. In the next day or two, you will work hard, struggle, and succeed. But will you persist in the next two or three days?
The truth is, you can’t hold on for long. Think about it another way, if you are not trying to get better, but trying not to make the situation worse?
The power of reverse thinking
“Keep it not stupid, instead of trying to be very smart. People like us who gain a lot of long-term advantage by doing this are a notable problem.”-Charlie · Charlie Munger
It’s difficult to stay smart. You have a lot to know, and you don’t know what you don’t. Your best bet is to avoid making bad decisions rather than making wise decisions.
You need a lot of energy to realize your dreams, ambitions and goals. Recovering from failure also requires a lot of energy. It is difficult for you to do two things at the same time. In addition, there are too many variables in life, and you don’t know which things are effective and which ones are not. It can only be said that you have a chance of success, and that’s it. However, figuring out what won’t work will increase your chances of success.
This is like the exclusion method you use when doing multiple choice questions, removing half of the wrong answers beforehand. You can remove a lot of things from your life and leave the most important things to appreciate the power of this reverse thinking.
1. Feeling sorry for yourself
Self-pity is an addictive narcotic, it gives people a short period of happiness, and makes people out of reality. ——John Gardner
The feeling of “sorrow for yourself” is surprisingly good, because you have a strange sense of moral superiority because of your self-pity. It’s a way of encouraging yourself to cope with an unwanted life. It’s a way for your brain to distort your logic and allow you to avoid real problems.
I inevitably feel sorry for myself. However, whenever I find myself in a state of self-pity, I ask myself: “What did I get from this feeling?”
The answer is: there has never been progress or change.
The next time you blame yourself, say to yourself, “Yes, this is my situation now, what should I do next?”
2. Compare yourself with others
“We like to think of champions and idols as being different from our superheroes. We don’t like to think of them as ordinary people who strive to make themselves extraordinary” —— Carol Dweck
No matter how successful you are, someone is more successful than you. The more you compare yourself to others, the less you can appreciate what you have and what you have achieved.
The reason is simple, but it ’s hard to really understand . The greatest answer in life is often the simplest answer, but you need to go through countless times to really understand it.
Some people will reach out to me and I can feel that they feel that I am above them because I am a writer. But they only see my work, they don’t see my inner thoughts.
These people don’t know that I struggle to get up in the morning and fight with life, or that I have a long list of unfulfilled dreams.
In a way, the person you look up to has a degree of self-doubt and nervousness. Keep this in mind. Also, remember that you have to be yourself and have no choice. You have to go your own way and don’t compare yourself with someone you don’t even know well.
3. People with negative energy burst
Keeping a distance from the ignorant is equivalent to wise men. -AAli Bin Abi-Taleb (Ali Bin Abi-Taleb)
You may have a friend you care about. However, you always find it a little frustrating to be with them. Every time you meet, they have the latest complaints.
You tell yourself: “Well, everyone has problems. We are good friends, so I should stay with them anyway?
Wrong.
Negative is like second-hand smoke in emotion. You cannot be with negative, ignorant, sad people without their influence. Look at your life. Are you surrounded by complainers, narrow believers and ignorant people?
It’s time to say goodbye.
4. Play a game you are destined to win
You have to figure out what your circle of competence is. If you play a game where someone else has talent and you don’t, then you lose. This is the surest prediction you can make. You have to figure out your strengths. You have to move within your abilities. ——Charlie Munger
You definitely have some talent. Successful people know what they are good at and continue to hone those skills. What do unsuccessful people do? They don’t focus on what they know or want to do better, but on popular things.
So do n’t write because the book looks cool Books. Write books because you like writing.
Don’t start podcasting because you think it will make you famous, but because you have something meaningful to share and you have the skills to talk.
Most people don’t want to stay on their own ground peacefully. They want to compete in places where they shouldn’t compete because there is reward. This won’t help in the slightest, and the next time something new comes out, you will chase it and start again.
Following your true thirst for knowledge is a better career foundation than chasing what is making money now. ——Naval Ravikant
Of course, you mustGood at something. But think about your motivation beforehand. If you do something for money, reputation, or outside recognition, you are likely to fail.
So why waste time?
5. Things outside of your body
There is nothing wrong with having good things. Material wealth has many benefits. People often say “Money can’t solve all your problems, but it can solve your money.”
It is not wrong to hope that your work will be recognized. There is nothing wrong with craving for a certain lifestyle. These only become problems when you turn them into accessories.
Chasing status will quickly turn you into their captive. What you have will eventually occupy you. The identity you once created and the identity you now have to maintain may keep you away from the life you love.
Second, we place too much emphasis on results. We often misjudge our decisions. The decision should be based on what you know then, not the result.
If you make a decision that has a 90% chance of success and you fail, then you still make the right decision.
Understanding opportunities plays an important role in your life, which is both disturbing and relieved. If you know deep down that you have made the right effort, made a wise decision, and bet on success, then failure is not shameful.
You can do what you want. The bottom line is that this is based on your free thoughts, not tied to desire.
6. Your hobbies
“The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates and monthly salary.—Nassim Taleb
When you think of the word “addiction,” you think of drugs and alcohol. But you have an unhealthy dependence on anything can be called addictive, just like drug and alcohol, they can also have a negative impact on your life, such as smoking, social media, your smartphone, etc.
I will not discuss these from a moral perspective. There are practical reasons why people want to get rid of these addictions. They all take away the most important things in your life-your time, your health, your relationships, and the money in your wallet.
Remove obstacles to your success. I can’t tell you how many hours per day are wasted on mobile phones seeking dopamine online. During these lost hours, I could have written, read, been with family and friends, or did some other active activities.
Addiction is not easy to quit. This is a very serious problem, but it is also an issue worth studying.
7. Stop searching and searching
People always tell you that there are many magical things in life, but they ignore a bigger point. If you want to fill a bucket with holes, there will always be water leaking out.
You can’t continue to dig a hole while trying to climb a hole. So, stop digging. Tell you that this may not be sexy, but it works. The less you mess up, the easier you are to succeed. This means you must observe discipline.
Are you tired of empty promises and blind optimism? The sooner you realize that life is not 100% full of joy, positiveness, and comfort, the better you will live.
Think about what obstacles you want to remove from your life?
Translator: Jane
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