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The last two days of watching the latest issue of “The Legend of Qi Bi”, the debate was centered on the topic “should tell the child that the fairy tale is false”. When the instructor summarized the submissions, Cai Kangyong said such a paragraph Let me take it for granted.

The point of this passage is-

Every one of us is fake (the same is true for “imperfect”), so you only need to care about the part you intercepted, what you should pay more attention to is that it can give you strength.

As for the other parts, if it’s not the power you need to intercept, you can ignore it.

This passage may seem simple, but in my opinion, it reveals the root cause of many people’s stagnation.

If applied in the workplace context, that is, Think about what you value, and get what you want. As for the others, it is not so important.

If you blindly pursue the so-called perfection, it will be your own growth that delays.

1

“Mr. Xiaoli, I think the workplace is really too dark!”

One afternoon, a white and tall northern girl Ye Zi (pseudonym) came to the place for offline consultation as promised, sat in front of me, and told me about her experience.

From the information submitted by Ye Zi, this is a girl with a good starting point. She graduated from 985 colleges and graduated with a scholarship. She was also a student union cadre when she was at school. I am even moreAttracted by this girl’s temperament, it is no exaggeration to say that Ye Zi decided to be a more outrageous girl.

After graduation, Ye Zi came to a good company, but strangely, she left after less than half a year; after that, according to her, her career has appeared extremely “strange”. Po Phenomenon: She managed to persuade herself to work in a company for some time, but for some reason, she was never reused.

No, when she came to the consultation, she managed to persist in a medium-sized company for two or three years. Seeing that her colleagues were not promoted as well as her, she was always at the grassroots level, which made her puzzled .

Think about 30 in a blink of an eye. You can’t just jump on board somehow and decide to come for a consultation.

“Mr. Xiaoli, you opened up and said, I don’t expect you to point me to a bright future. This depends on whether I want to do it myself. I hope you can help me analyze and analyze neutrally. Solve the root cause of my non-reuse for so many years, so let me know how it will change in the future ~ “

Looking at the straight-speaking leaves in front of my eyes and blinking the big watery eyes, I suddenly felt that this is clearly a cute child ~

2

The so-called “cute child”, here are my two levels of prediction.

The first layer of prediction, From the words and deeds of Ye Zi and past experience, she is a typical “other child” Big, already accustomed to the “hostess design”, this does not enter the workplace, it is likely that problems occurred in the initial adaptation level;

Second level prediction, Judging by the various signs revealed by Ye Zi in the information submitted, she is probably a “perfectionist” . That is to say, half a grain of sand is not tolerated in the eyes. Such people often have high requirements for themselves, but it is this “perfectionism” that may be an important factor restricting her career development.

Sure enough, after the leaves spit out, I gradually confirmed my two predictions.

When I first graduated, Ye Zi faced many good opportunities, and eventually went to a well-known company.

Within less than half a year’s work, I quit the job because I felt that “the head of the department is of poor character.”

She started a difficult job search.

The first company is very good both in fame and strength. In the subsequent job application, Ye Zi will inevitably compare other companies with the first one in the bottom of his heart.

It just dragged on for months and didn’t find a job.

Family really ca n’t stand it anymore, so I had to use my relationship to find a unit that leaves Yeah at home. Although Ye Ye was unwilling, he had no better choice but to accept the arrangement of his family.

The family told her that as long as she did her job well, the company’s leaders would notice her and give priority to her promotion.

Ye Ye gradually convinced himself, so he persisted in this unit for several years, but strangely, not only was he not promoted according to the established plan, but he was increasingly unable to see hope and future.

Where exactly is the problem?

To understand this problem, we need to start with a cognitive blind spot that many people are apt to commit, that is, it is not wrong for us to pursue success or happiness, but what is wrong is our expectations.

3

From the many consulting cases handled by my and my consulting team, when many people contacted career counseling for the first time, they had good expectations, but after the consultation, many people gave The feedback received was, “There is a feeling that the dream has been broken.”

Yes, this is the truth we must understand before making any career planning or decision, that is, you can never be perfect.

When many people come to consult, I ask their expectations, they will say that they want to be an expert in some area and proficient in a certain skill;

But unfortunately, your life and time are limited. If you invest a lot of time into a certain field, you may not be able to spend time with your family. You think about it and feel unbearable. You decide to spend some time And energy to the family; however, when you take care of your career and family, you find that you have forgotten yourself, you have almost no time to be alone with yourself, and no time to develop your own hobby, you start panic again It’s …

Yes, when you really start to make choices, you find that you are not willing to give up anymore-this is the reason why you are too late to make choices and lose many opportunities. In itself, there is no necessary connection.

2. How to make a rational career choice?

Yeh Yeh has been entangled in one thing. Is it a big company or a small company?

On the one hand, many people want to be trained in large companies, because it is clear that the talent cultivation mechanism of large companies is perfect, but they are worried that over time they will become “screws”; on the other hand, they are envious of SMEs’ career opportunities However, at the same time, they do not know how far these small and medium-sized enterprises can go, whether there will be a change, and so on.

In my opinion, no choice is perfect, so what we need to do is to sort out the main requirements.

For example, for a newcomer in the workplace, in the first 1-3 years, it is a period of desperate growth. At this time, you should pay more attention to your growth and ability improvement. Then you may consider large companies from this perspective. Pros and cons of small companies, wait until you have accumulated a certain capacity, and then make new choices.

3. Career planning has never been done overnight;

A lot of people always have misunderstandings about career planning, thinking that if they do it, they can ensure their lives are safe and sound. In fact, this is not the case.

A lot of people will feel a kind of “dream broken” after first contacting career planning. Although this feeling is uncomfortable, it is indeed a very important step, because only when we stop the perfect fantasy, we only It may be close to the truth in order to take a firm footing based on reality.

This is the most difficult and crucial step in life planning, that is, You must realize that if you want to be better in one aspect, you must make compromises in the other, or even Loss-No one can live a life of fame, freedom, and abundance.

So, office workers don’t