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What you are looking for is not a mentor, Is a counselor < / strong>

First imagine in your heart what kind of ideal mentor?

Let you follow one-on-one to learn? Or spend at least an hour a week talking to you?

None.

Sheryl Sandberg (CEO of Facebook) talked about this misunderstanding in “Step Forward”: Imagine that the other party will spend 1 hour a week to chat with you, that is not called a mentor, that Is a psychological consultant.

Yes, the truth is that “guidance” does not only happen when you communicate regularly and send long emails to each other.

TA may have only talked to you briefly after some meetings, and provided you with effective advice when you made a major decision or encountered an obstacle, and nothing more.

The so-called “tutor” in the workplace is more like an anchor point than the teaching method you use when you go to school, so you can aim at your target and go at full speed And become the vane of your career.

The word “mentor” never needs to be talked about, it is more important to have substantive relationship progress than to have this “name”.

Clarify the above issues, and let’s talk about how to get online with them.

Wanting someone to help you (especially if the other party is still a big cow) is not an easy task, and the difficulty factor is no less than that of a blind date among ten million people.

Recently read Indian programmer Ravi Mohan and the admirationor (workplace mentor) ‘s successful online experience is very useful.

And more importantly, This kind of thinking can not only help people find mentors in the workplace, but also make them more willing to help you and make your boss more willing to give you useful opinions and feedback. .

“Are you my mentor? ” “No. ”

Suddenly asking for advice from Daniel who doesn’t know each other in life, this is like finding strangers on the street to borrow money. Most people ’s reaction will be: “Who are you?”

If you look at Mianshan, people are willing to lend you. But how much you can eventually borrow depends on your own ability.

Look for help and advice, make it clear:

Other people help you, that’s love. If you don’t help you, that’s your duty.

This is what the great Zhen Yanniang said.

Think about it in other words. If you are a great Daniel right now, you have a busy job and a tight schedule.

A stranger who has nothing to do with you suddenly asks you for guidance. Would you like to give up your affairs immediately and teach them?

Time really doesn’t allow Daniel to donate roses everywhere, not to mention that the first-hand fragrance is useless, so most people usually refuse: Why should I help him?

The key step to impress the mentor is that you have to give the other person a satisfactory answer to this question.

Ravi once got the other party ’s email address on a programmer’s homepage of a Top3 worldwide, and sent an email to the other party saying:

I noticed that you mentioned on your homepage that I hope someone can assist you in writing the xx code, I researched your I’m very interested. I happen to study related content in my spare time. I’m willing to help (cooperation).

It looks polite, and it’s not a unilateral request, is it sincere, right?

However, he only received two cold responses:

Many people have emailed me saying they can help me make this code, but so far I haven’t seen any code Too. No intention of offending, but you are not convincing.

Ravi responded within 1 minute after receiving the reply, and sent the compressed code package written by himself. The postscript: “This is my research result so far, I believe that about 70% of it is what you need . “

Sure enough, Daniel answered, “It seems you are serious, man, you are on …!”

Then he changed his attitude by 180 degrees and gave Ravi a lot of practical and effective suggestions. He was later revered as a life mentor.

You see, You have to prove to Mentor that you really have the attitude and ability to treat your interests and professions. He will feel that his efforts are valuable and willing to help you.

Guided people are very good at solving problems, Give them a specific question

Let’s take a more extreme example.

You are an art lover, love movies, and intend to develop film and television director as a career, so you sent an email to Li An, saying:

“Dear director Ang, I like your” Lust Ring “very much. I have always wanted to imitate your technique to make a similar short film, but I am not sure how to proceed. Can you give me some suggestions? / p>

Trust me, the content of this e-mail, let alone Li An did n’t bother you, are those 180-line directors who are particularly uncomfortable with art entrepreneurship and have no idea how to reply:

You do n’t know, I do n’t know either!

Because you didn’t ask specific questions, you just left the whole burden to others.

The answer to this question may be the life experience of the mentor from birth to the present, or the need to write hundreds of thousands of words, which is how people answer.

The more efficient way is, Do this first, when you encounter specific difficulties, record it, and then throw the problem to the mentor for him to point you.

Ravi has encountered the same situation. He wrote to a famous professor at Stanford University:

The X conclusion you published in the journal, I can fill it with the project I am doing now, so that it can be extended to Y conclusion and Z conclusion, I wonder if you are interested Give me some help and support?

Professor reply:

No use, that article is old, and some aspects are really incomplete. What it means: Yes, yes, you are right, but I don’t want to spend that effort to teach you.

So Ravi spent several days to begin this derivation process, writing out a detailed algorithm and formal correctness demonstration and code derivation process.

Not only that, but also put forward the questions you encountered in the process and the information you need to get support, and send it to the professor.

At this point, he immediately got a warm response:

Professor Gao Leng has sent a long e-mail with detailed amendments and exploreable research directions, which has benefited Ravi a lot.

You should do it first, explore and digest the part that can be solved by yourself, then put forward specific and clear questions, let them see your hard work, and give the TAs an entry point to help .

Don’t ask those stupid questions that Google can know the answer to.

Stand out, You will get a good mentor

Finally, let’s put aside the truth, goodness, and beauty of human nature, and face the selfish nature of humanity.

No one will always help you without any benefit exchange. To build a long-term and stable mentoring relationship, you still need mutual benefit and win-win.

Fortunately, research by sociologists and psychologists has shown that humans are very eager to participate in reciprocal behavior.

Research has shown that tutors’ choice of apprentices is basically based on their external performance and potential abilities, and people will instinctively invest in those who are exceptionally talented and can truly benefit from funding.

The core link of a person ’s network is also their own utilization price Value, you ’d better analyze yourself before asking for support