No one in the world is not hedonistic.
Editor’s note: This article from the micro-channel public number “LinkedIn” (ID: LinkedIn-China) , of: Summer girl.
I have lived in town since childhood, and have been a fast-paced life from reading to work.
Since I gave birth to my baby the year before last year, and since my mother became ill last year, I have been jumping every day.
I collapsed because I was not sure about my son’s shit and pissing. I quarreled with my husband for the increasing pressure of life, and even cried in the middle of the night without my own life.
However, on the 27th day of living in this quiet little village, I thought I would return to the New Year for a short time, I have to say that I am addicted to pleasure and cannot extricate myself.
I fell into a lazy life when I slept naturally until I woke up, no one was disturbed while reading, and I did n’t have to take the baby or do housework.
Fear is not fall, but I am both happy and afraid of pleasure.
Every day before bed, I blame myself for not working as hard as I did before, as if I wasted my life and wasted time.
I was just like that, I was caught in the cycle of hedonism-self-blame, and I couldn’t find the exit.
If you have the same troubles as me, I hope this article can help you.
This article was originally created by LinkedIn, the girl Xia, a clear stream in HR, professional integrity, public account resume (id: jianlifang1V1).
Can’t immerse yourself in pleasure? Disastrous thinking makes us fear the future
The book “Thinking and Position” writes that if you feel trouble in your life, it must be that you have a problem with your way of thinking.
A lot of people are anxious because they are always worried, what if the situation develops in a bad direction, and it gets worse? What if the bad situation persists?
While playing with my mobile phone while basking in the sun, I am worried that if I have been lazy for 2 hours today, this project will be over?
When I played a few games, I was worried that if I did n’t exercise today, would I get fat?
When I gave the baby to my grandparents, I was worried whether the baby would be too cold or too hot?
These scenes happen every day in our lives, but we do not know that behind these seemingly ordinary anxieties, catastrophic thinking is permeating our lives a little bit.
The psychiatrist Dr. Aaron Beck proposed that catastrophic thinking is an irrational negative prediction of future events, amplifying the adverse consequences and thinking of the consequences that could have been dealt with as disasters, resulting in serious panic.
Many people like me, even if they think they need to enjoy themselves, they ca n’t enjoy it with peace of mind. This is because we always think with catastrophic thinking, we are always worried, and exaggerate the bad consequences of this matter.
But in fact, a study from the Department of Psychology at Stanford University in the United States has proven that everyone has inexplicable concerns about what will happen in the future.
Much of this worry is baseless and mostly just a speculation in the heart, but the anxiety created by this worry affects most people.
After tracking 100 professionals, they found that more than 70% of these concerns would not happen!
A few days off have a huge impact on our work? Will you gain weight if you exercise less? Does my baby get sick for a while?
No. In other words, the impact will never be so great as to make us so anxious.
To this end, Churchill gave us a sentence before his death: there were too many troubles in his life, but most of the worrying never happened.
Reversing catastrophic thinking, Enjoying the current trilogy
Compared with some people who are born to be optimistic, there are also many people who are prone to excessive pessimism since childhood and are used to using catastrophic thinking to place heavy burdens on themselves.
There are many reasons for catastrophic thinking, but most of them are as follows:
First, ambiguous.
Whenever a wife says “I want to talk to you” to her husband, the husband always feels that something is bad.
Before the wife begins to elaborate, this vague message may be negative or positive, not necessarily an accusation. But because the information is ambiguous and ambiguous, people can’t help thinking about the disadvantages.
Second, value.
A person who loves her girlfriend will feel insecure, as if any of her actions are a signal to leave.
A person who values work will be cautious, for fear of losing his job after taking 2 hours of rest today.
The more important and valuable the content is to us, the easier it is for us to have a disastrous tendency, because we cannot face possible failures and losses.
Third, fear.
Under the epidemic, even healthy people sneeze occasionally, they will nervously doubt whether they have new coronary pneumonia.
Fear, especially irrational fear, infinitely magnifies catastrophic thinking.
Understanding the causes of catastrophic thinking can effectively help us adjust such thinking.
Edmund Byrne, in his book “Coping with Anxiety,” introduced the questioning trilogy that reverses catastrophic thinking, and it can help us adjust such thinking.
Step 1: Identify distorted thinking.
Catastrophic thinking is often “what if XXXX?” For example, “What if I’m lazy for 2 hours today and this project is over?”
When you find yourself “worried” because of value, fear, and ambiguity, remind yourself that you may be trapped in a catastrophic mode of thinking.
Step 2: Question the validity of the distorted views.
Aware of our disastrous thinking, we can analyze rationally. For example, what is the true probability that the project will be over after a short break?
You know, the probability is very small.
Step 3: Use a more realistic way of thinking.
After analyzing the correctness of the point of view, you can use the “more realistic thinking method to elaborate” if I was lazy for 2 hours today ”
“If I was lazy for 2 more hours today, then in the next few days, I would spend 2 more hours working.”
Of course we can remind ourselves to hurry up and improve efficiency, but what I want to say is that proper delay doesn’t matter.
Too much rest today, tomorrow will definitely have time to catch up, obviously there is enough time, so there is no need to live life so anxious, and occasionally you need to breathe.
Hedonicism, The pursuit of broader enjoyment
Maybe you, like me, have fallen into endless blame and worry because of slackness. This is because we do not know that the essence of short-term enjoyment is to make us happier in the future.
The well-known advertising company JWT has conducted a survey of consumers in 27 countries around the world. The data shows that an average of 71% of the world’s people are in an anxiety state.
The book Coping with Anxiety also mentions that one of the main reasons for persistent anxiety is not to take care of yourself.
In life, we often inadvertently turn ourselves into a machine, a work machine, or a machine with baby dolls, which circulate in a busy day, but forget to stop and enjoy ourselves.
So, in addition to reversing our thinking, we must learn to take care of ourselves and recognize the meaning of enjoyment.
Perhaps you will say, live and pass, the days when wine is drunk today are not long-term, and it is impossible for people to enjoy themselves anyway.
But this is just a narrow interpretation of the word “hedonic”.
Let ’s zoom in on the scale of time and look at it in a broader sense. No one in the world is not hedonistic.
Now working hard to study and work. Although it seems painful at present, it is actually to accumulate energy and live a better life. This is the first bitter and the sweetest. This is for pleasure.
At the same time, noon breaks, weekend sports, listening to songs, gathering meals, and reading light books during leisure are all for the rest of life, and put into life in a better state.Why not live for longer?
Finally, what I want to say is, don’t take the hedonism out of context, and let yourself be free to enjoy the momentary happiness.
I just want to express that when you need to rest, rest assuredly enjoy the peace and enjoyment at this moment, but when you need to think for the long term, delay the gratification.
After reading this, you might as well try to stop now and let it go for a while, go to bed early tonight, and enjoy this short “pleasure” without guilt!
This article was originally created by LinkedIn. The author is Xia Xia, a clear stream in HR, professional integrity, public account resume (id: jianlifang1V1).
Compared with some people who are born to be optimistic, there are also many people who are prone to excessive pessimism since childhood and are used to using catastrophic thinking to place heavy burdens on themselves.
There are many reasons for catastrophic thinking, but most of them are as follows:
First, ambiguous.
Whenever a wife says “I want to talk to you” to her husband, the husband always feels that something is bad.
Before the wife begins to elaborate, this vague message may be negative or positive, not necessarily an accusation. But because the information is ambiguous and ambiguous, people can’t help thinking about the disadvantages.
Second, value.
A person who loves her girlfriend will feel insecure, as if any of her actions are a signal to leave.
A person who values work will be cautious, for fear of losing his job after taking 2 hours of rest today.
The more important and valuable the content is to us, the easier it is for us to have a disastrous tendency, because we cannot face possible failures and losses.
Third, fear.
Under the epidemic, even healthy people sneeze occasionally, they will nervously doubt whether they have new coronary pneumonia.
Fear, especially irrational fear, infinitely magnifies catastrophic thinking.
Understanding the causes of catastrophic thinking can effectively help us adjust such thinking.
Edmund Byrne, in his book “Coping with Anxiety,” introduced the questioning trilogy that reverses catastrophic thinking, and it can help us adjust such thinking.
Step 1: Identify distorted thinking.
Catastrophic thinking is often “what if XXXX?” For example, “What if I’m lazy for 2 hours today and this project is over?”
When you find yourself “worried” because of value, fear, and ambiguity, remind yourself that you may be trapped in a catastrophic mode of thinking.
Step 2: Question the validity of the distorted views.
Aware of our disastrous thinking, we can analyze rationally. For example, what is the true probability that the project will be over after a short break?
You know, the probability is very small.
Step 3: Use a more realistic way of thinking.
After analyzing the correctness of the point of view, you can use the “more realistic thinking method to elaborate” if I was lazy for 2 hours today ”
“If I was lazy for 2 more hours today, then in the next few days, I would spend 2 more hours working.”
Of course we can remind ourselves to hurry up and improve efficiency, but what I want to say is that proper delay doesn’t matter.
Too much rest today, tomorrow will definitely have time to catch up, obviously there is enough time, so there is no need to live life so anxious, and occasionally you need to breathe.