This year 520, young people don’t even want to talk about love.
Planning: Kr Lab
Visual: Yeti
On the eve of the sour smell of love, we choose to pay attention to such a small group of people. Since they first saw the world, they have always been insulated from the word love, and they have maintained the solo “noble” attitude of the solo for decades. The world admires their insistence, which is called “Peony”, and its full name is “fetal solo”.
“It’s so big, I’ve never been in love, isn’t it?”
“What? No one has ever chased you? Really?”
“Is your vision too high? Don’t be too picky, it’s almost OK.”
“Isn’t it because you have a psychological problem?”
……
Most people are more surprised and puzzled about the “fetal solo”, and cannot imagine how they can achieve the “fetal solo” for a quarter of a century. There are even issues such as “What kind of creature is a mother-female single”? “What kind of experience is a mother-female single for more than 20 years” “” How to treat a person who is a mother-female single “ and so on.
On the eve of 520, we brought in 2183 contemporary youths to talk about their love affair and reveal the noble and mysterious creature of “fetal solo”. Maybe after you finish reading, you will have different views on them.
According to China News Network, data from the National Civil Affairs Bureau show that by the end of 2015, there were nearly 200 million single men and women in China. The fourth wave of singles in China is coming, and the number of single people in China may reach 400 million in the future. From a global perspective, it seems that singles are becoming the norm. Singles make up 45% of the adult population in the United States, 32.4% in Japan, and 23.9% in South Korea.
We recently launched a love survey online, with a total sample size of 2183. FindingsAfter coming out, we unexpectedly discovered:
1. Singles accounted for 77.65% of the respondents (Figure 1);
2. The number of “mother solos” in the respondents accounted for 26.02% (Figure 2), representing at least one of every four respondents was “mother solos” .
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Figure 1 Respondents’ emotional situation
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Figure 2 Interviewees’ love experiences
During the interview, many interviewees asked us a question: Are there more boys or more girls in “Maternal Solo”? Some people say that the “fetal solo” around them feels like girls, while others say they are all boys. We specifically compared the number of males and females in “Maternal Solo” and found that 26.39% of the male respondents were “Maternal Solo” and 25.45% of the female respondents were “Maternal Solo”, which is Men who have not been in love will have a little more than girls.
Figure 3 Proportion of “fetal solo” among men and women
Many people have the inherent idea that you have been single for more than ten or twenty years. Why don’t you want to fall in love? However, in our survey, we found that only 15.75% of “mother-female solo” respondents said they really wanted to fall in love, 30.28% said they were a little bit interested, and 33.78% said that there was no need to fall in love, and there were over 20% Expressing no desire to fall in love. It seems that This year’s young people don’t just want to get married and have children, they don’t even want to talk about love.
Do you want to fall in love with the “fetal solo” in Figure 4?
So what happened to this young man? Why do so many young people never want to fall in love without ever falling in love?
When we asked why “mother solo” respondents do n’t want to fall in love, more than 70% of the respondents think that “one is free and not want to be bound”; nearly 60% of the respondents said that they do not want to fall in love , Just “I haven’t met the right person”; there are also 46% of the respondents think that “dating in love is troublesome and don’t want to talk”; about 40% of the respondents feel that they “are not good enough” and do not want to fall in love. In addition, the reasons for not wanting to fall in love are “don’t believe in love” (30.16%), “high cost of love” (28.57%), “busy work” (22.22%), and “high vision” (22.22%) .
Figure 5 Why do you not want to fall in love with a “mother solo”?
The data is macro and icy. We want to talk to people who are “solo” mothers one-on-one and listen to their stories. How have they been so many years, why not want to fall in love / not fall in love. Therefore, we found 5 “strong senior solo mothers solo” among 2183 respondents:
I came to this place, not to play cards based on the script
Vivian, lawyer, female, single for 28 years
Life is like a math exam. Math exams always have standard problem-solving ideas and answers, and our lives are arranged in advance like a script, and we should do things whenever we want. When it’s time to go to school and get married, just fall in love and have children. If you do n’t do it, it will be followed by countless eyes and commented: “This idea for your problem is not good, let me teach you.
I’m sorry, it’s so easy to come and go in this world. I refuse to play cards based on the script.
Love is not a good card in my hand, and it is never a good card that I have to get, so when I hear that I have to talk about love, I often feel confused-is it because the book is not good, or have you traveled this mountain?
Single makes me feel free. I can walk on both sides of the river to measure every inch of land with my feet, and I can also ride on a two-dimensional or canyon house to grow mushrooms. I like spicy foods, and I prefer perverts. If I prefer light, I will mix onions Tofu white-cut chicken; whether it is Yangchun Baixue or the taste of the lower Liba people, whichever I like, I spend time, energy and money. Whatever you want, you never have to deliberately adapt to the preferences of others, and use your smile to barely pay for another person’s happiness.
It’s better to spend time, energy, and money to become a better me than to be tired and crooked. Of course, I don’t object to you saying that couples can make progress together, but people in love always accomplish a lot of things that only the other person thinks are meaningful.
Maybe I’m a relatively independent person. It’s just fun to be with me alone. At the same time, I also understand that some people in this world are more dependent and like to be accompanied.
For these people, “I wish you as much pleasure from each other as I have from myself.”
She is not sensible, I must be sensible
Winter, finance, male, single for 24 years
When I was in college, I was busy reading, researching, doing internships just to find a good job. After graduating, although I took the offer that everyone admired, what others didn’t know was that I took a salary and completed the workload of three people.
Go out at 8:30 in the morning and leave the company after 11:00 in the evening. The real name is 9116. Sometimes I have to work overtime at home on Sundays. I have no money and time, what qualifications do I need to fall in love?
I have had a relationship with each other, but because of objective conditions, I know I can’t give her a better life, so I didn’t promise her. She doesn’t make sense, I can’t help it.
If I really talk about men and women, I will be scared away in 3 days. Who can accept one who can’t eatMeal, electronic pet that can’t accompany you? There is a comment in the NetEase cloud: The most painful thing about love is falling in love with a girl who wants to look after the most helpless. I think I’m at this time right now.
Girls chasing idol do not need boyfriends
Drink milk tea everyday, graduate, female, single for 24 years
“Choose idol and fall in love, which one would you choose?”
If it was 5 years ago, I would not hesitate to choose the former.
I chased idol 5 years ago and did the craziest thing, not to go to another city to watch his concert, not to save money every month to buy his magazines and albums, nor to study every day except eating Let’s run idol’s Weibo post all the time outside of bed.
I use idol as a boyfriend.
Yes, I’m my girlfriend in the legend. Of course, girlfriend fanfare is just a name given by fans themselves, not really need a boyfriend. From my heart, I know that it is impossible for me and Idol, but I still hope to find someone similar to them in life.
Looking around, no boy can match my idol. Not to mention how many boys can accept that his girlfriend often stares at the screen to praise other boys who grow up handsome. In this case, I don’t plan to find any boyfriend and focus on chasing my idol.
Few people can understand my behavior. My parents commented that Idol didn’t sing well and didn’t look good. I didn’t know what I was fascinated with. I even went back to the exam and my grades dropped a lot. My mother who was informed of the news after the parents almost lost her breath. After returning home, she handed me a cardboard box and asked me to put all the magazines, albums, and posters about idol in the cardboard box and throw them away. I cried as I packed up. In retrospect, not only did the chasing idol family not support, but it also missed many people and things on campus.
But I don’t regret it.
Following idol is more like working with idol and eventually finding a better self, because idol will always show his persistence, hard work, dreams and other characteristics, which are also what we each yearn for. As we continue to work toward Idol, I will find my desired career and life, and work hard to become a better me.
Even now, although Idol is no longer pursued, I will support them if they release new works. Idol grew up with me, but after he grew up with me, I couldn’t spend too much time with him. There are many other things in life that need to be troubled and resolved. After all, people cannot just look at others to live.
For the quiet of the ears, I fabricated a former boyfriend
Xiao Yan, internet operation, female, single for 26 years
For me who was born in 1993, the solo label for mothers is not a bonus. Whenever I honestly say that I haven’t been in love, I always get a surprise and a pity:
“No, don’t lie to us.”
“You look so good, how could you not have a boyfriend.”
“It must be that your vision is too high and too picky.”
……
Then the news will spread to the whole circle at the speed of light, and become a gossip talk of others in private. It seems to everyone that my age is still “mother solo”, there must be something wrong.
Later, I learned to be clever (mainly to save myself the trouble of explaining). I coined an “ex-boyfriend in college” abroad. My label immediately became “Single and Single” . There is no need to worry about being considered a “problem adult” because of no love experience, thereby affecting professional image.
When it comes to solo, it ’s not because I do n’t like people. To be fair, I do n’t have a high vision. There are only three requirements for mating standards: bachelor degree, height> 170cm, not bad taste. Is it high?
During college, I liked three boys in total, and I had taken the initiative in each section, but in the end I didn’t know what to do. It always feels like everyone is almost the same. People who are “mother solo” may have more longing for the first relationship, and don’t want to open a relationship casually, and don’t want to be casual. Be responsible for yourself and others.
Sometimes I wonder if I should find an object as soon as possible. After all, the older the girl is, the less choice there is. However, the reality is that after work, the majority of girls in the workplace circle, and occasionally new male faces appear in the circle, so I can not talk about it, because after work is physically and mentally exhausted, I just want to be a wasteful person quietly, no Brainbrush drama reading.
I never said that I don’t long for love, but I would like to be single until I meet the right person.
N heartbeats, 0 actions
The first thing to do is to have a favorite person. But from our survey, we can find that 71.11% of the respondents have no favorite object, only 28.89% of the respondents have favorite object, and only 36.17% of them will actively pursue Favorite object. Laybacker is to want to fall in love and have a favorite object, but dare not act, after the tangled, finally choose the typical representative of the Buddhist Department.
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Figure 6 Do you have a favorite object?
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Figure 7 Will you actively pursue your favorite object?
Laybacker, architect, male, single for 26 years
The first time I liked girls was in kindergarten. I hope that when my teacher arranges spring outings, I will go hand in hand with her, and I will guess what kind of hairpin she likes. After elementary school, junior high school, college, and work, there are so many girls who have a good impression that I can’t even count myself, but I am still a “mother solo”.
Sometimes a voice in my heart:
“If you have a good opinion, go and confess!”
“Dare to confess, but also want love, daydream faster.”
Fear of confession failure is the reason I am single, but I am even more afraid that even my friends ca n’t do it after failure.
I have met such a girl, her temperament is fresh and peaceful, she is full of beauty, and even the dim starlight is attracted to her. When she was happy, I treasured her smile, burned this moment into a book and hid it in my heart; when she was depressed, one eye was enough to hurt my chest. Maybe it sounds stupid, but the people who are moving are probably stupid, so stupid that she is my ideal type, but I dare not act to confess her.
Even when I meet her on the road, I deliberately slow down so that I can watch her go silently. Just staring at her back, she felt strangely content.
I didn’t think about confession, but I stopped talking. As long as she thinks that she and I may not even be able to make friends after the failure of the confession, the courage accumulated for a long time is like a balloon being pierced.
And friends are good, crying and laughing together, and occasionally being cared for, not being avoided as a flood beast.
Now, I still feel good, I still feel good, and it ’s very happy to have someone I like. Maybe I have n’t met the one who made me courageous and uneasy. Anyone who wants to be together anyway!
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When we asked “Do you think that love is a necessity of life”, 45.08% of the respondents think “No” , 30.94% of the respondents think “Not sure”, only 23.98 % Of respondents believe that “love is a necessity of life”.
Figure 8 Do you think that love is a necessity of life?
At the same time, among 2183 questionnaires, 873 people shared their views, and we selected 20 of them:
Love is inevitable for my long life, but for every moment, it is not a necessity.
Although you want to fall in love, falling in love is not a necessity of life. I want to perfect myself, in anticipation of meeting him among thousands of people. Believe in fate.
It is necessary to have a serious relationship in your life. It is not necessarily to the point of getting married, that is, someone can grow up with you, encourage each other, and recognize the part that is unknown to you through the other party.
You can talk at the age of 20. You can talk at the age of 80.
Someone meets someone who wants to live a lifetime together at a very young age. Being late doesn’t mean less, nor does it mean worse than others. Of course waiting requires patience.
Love is a pot of old wine, it tastes good, butUncomfortable after getting up; some people are single if they do n’t drink; the key is that some people do n’t even have wine, and the Buddha is single.
I don’t lack fast-paced likes, what I lack is very sure love. She had previously messaged me: “You don’t want to plant flowers.” Yes, because I don’t want to see it wither. To avoid the end, I avoided the beginning of everything.
Work and save money to buy your own house. It doesn’t need to be too big, just live alone. Or wandering, set off to a distance. There is no time to think about love.
I recognize that I am a very ordinary person. Although I want to fall in love, I always feel that the person I met is not right, or I am not good enough to match.
As long as you think of having a marriage and having children after being in love … I don’t think anyone is so scary.
I have 26 days to celebrate my 26th birthday. I really want to fall in love! Because I haven’t talked about it, if I talked about it, it might be more Buddhist. Time really flies so fast! God, when will I meet love?
A long time ago, there was a Japanese drama called “Love Supply”, which means that love is not a necessity of life, it is just a supply, and it is becoming more and more so. Because of the rich spiritual life, this kind of supply is not needed very much. The activities arranged for myself in the free time are too busy, and I have no time to be distracted to another person.
I believe in the unwavering love in the world, but I don’t believe it will happen to me. # 一个 人 挺好 #.
Love is mutual! Don’t be a licking dog in this life! !! !!
Love is irrelevant. You are lucky to talk about someone you have met for a lifetime. Talk many times, and each time you will know more about what you want.
Limited by the traditional love-marriage path, young people are now overwhelmed by life and work, lack of time and opportunities to meet people, and it is even more difficult to fall in love. .
I do n’t like people who like me, I do n’t like people who like me, and then I like myself!
Indirect sex want to fall in love, continuous single really fragrant!
I want to go from one end to another, from love to marriage to the hands of the son and the old man.
Don’t just fall in love, you should always fall in love after marriage. Love is a gift of life. It turned out that an independent individual can be completely delivered to another in this way. It turns out that my ordinary heart will have so many fantasy colors. Love makes me reach out my tentacles to experience more things, and makes my ordinary brain often get a little high-level emotion .Not every relationship has a good result, and a relationship that has made you feel that you have experienced it, that is a good relationship. Studying is too tiring, work is too tiring, because love is so sweet, life is so great. 80-year-old is also in love.
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At first we thought that this young man was too terrible. Are you guys robots? Feelings are the result of careful calculation of the code, and each behavior has been confirmed to be the best price-performance ratio, and whether to talk about love as an account is clearly understood.
Later, we gradually discovered that young people have their own attitude towards love: some young people, used to living alone, yearning for freedom and independence, do not want to be in a love environment full of uncertainty and anxiety; some young people, afraid Others don’t like themselves and don’t dare to take the first step easily. They always want to wait until one day they have enough ability to be better and then go after love. Some young people, bearing the multiple pressures of work and life, are not good at it. Social, even if you have the heart, you cannot expand your social circle.
Love is not a necessity for everyone, and being single is not terrible. Behind this period of young people’s involuntary beginning of a relationship, it is obvious that young people are becoming more autonomous and more confident. Talking about love is one of the lifestyle choices, as long as we do not lose the ability to love and be loved, we do not deny the possibility of any other choice. Anyway, just remember, The most important thing in life is happiness!
What do you think about love?