Practical negotiation rules.
Editor’s note: This article comes from the WeChat public account “Noteman” (ID: Notesman)
Content source: This article is an excerpt from the book “Cognitive Pattern” published by CITIC Publishing Group. Noteman, as a partner, is released by the publishing house with authorization.
Responsible editor | Baige
Note Jun said:
Meeting and reporting work, some people summed up two or three sentences, and they were very empty; some people talked about it endlessly, and they talked too much, let alone the leader is upset, even colleagues are wrinkled below Frowned.
These are signs of non-communication. How to improve your communication skills? Below, enjoy it ~
Did you find such a phenomenon?
I clearly wanted to communicate with my colleagues about the other party ’s responsibility, but in the end, because of my face, I had to agree to some jobs that were not within my job scope.
Meeting and reporting work, some people summed up two or three sentences, and they were very empty; some people talked about it endlessly, and they talked too much, let alone the leader is upset, even colleagues are wrinkled below Frowned.
These are signs of non-communication. In today’s workplace, communication has become a “core competence.” People who communicate can often seize more opportunities than others.
How to effectively improve communication skills?
First, learn to listen
First, we must learn to listen.
The reason why we need to communicate is that even if different people face the same thing, there will always be huge differences of opinion. The value of communication is that you can bridge these differences and reach consensus to some extent.
If you are facing your communication partner at this moment, you are already unhappy with his views or demands, but I still suggest that you temporarily suppress your urge to criticize or refute the other party and listen to his demands first.
Why?
First of all, listening means a kind of respect for the communication partner. It will send a silent signal, which means that you really care about his ideas and demands. The principle of reciprocity is the basic principle of the pattern of human psychological activity. Your friendly signal will make the other party more willing to consider your views and demands, and this is a good start for the two parties to reach a consensus.
At the same time, listening not only means respect for the communication partner, it is also the most basic way for us to collect effective information and understand the communication partner’s demands.
After all, if we want to communicate better with each other, we need to better understand what the conversation partner thinks and hates.
People who are good at communication often have the consciousness of collecting effective information. Collecting information can not only help us discover the details, but also allow us to see the essence behind the problem through the chaotic appearance.
Second, make good use of the power of questions
Listening is a relatively passive way for us to collect information during the communication process. In fact, we can become more active. Yes, please do n’t ignore the power of asking questions, because a clever question is far better than A perfect answer.
How to ask good questions instead of just asking questions on the surface?
First of all, a good question should be combined with your own thinking;
Secondly, good questions should be able to effectively arouse each other’s resonance and thinking.
That’s why a really good reporter can always ask the most valuable and in-depth questions, and this question will lead to more newsworthy content. To do this, there is no doubt that a thorough and thorough study of the interviewee is required.
The question should be asked to dig deeper and find “close to the information that has been internalized in the other person’s heart, but never asked myself”.
All of this can be summarized as 3V: Vision, Value, Vocabulary. What kind of state does he want to achieve? What do you want? What do you want to try? Is his most important value a monetary return, personal development, or a sense of personal accomplishment? Will he usually talk about the past or look forward to the future?
around this “The topic of “3V” makes it easy for the other party to feel “closely related to me, but I never thought of it”, which is both familiar and surprising.
Three, how to increase your persuasion in communication?
“People are not the only ones at a key point in history.” This is the question in the inspiring best-selling book “A Brief History of Mankind.”
In fact, there are several kinds of human beings coexisting in primitive society. According to cultural and intellectual analysis, the primitive races are not very different, and Homo sapiens does not have any special advantages. But all humans that survive and continue civilization today belong to Homo sapiens. We can’t help but ask curiously: Why have other humans not survived or even produced civilization? Where is Homo sapiens compared to other humans?
The answer is that Homo sapiens has a unique way of communicating-telling stories. It is because Homo sapiens can tell stories, which allows them to sit around the campfire after every adventure and every battle, and use stories to celebrate the deeds of those heroes.
One pass ten, ten pass hundred, pass from generation to generation, never stop. These stories not only passed on many tribal survival and fighting experiences, but also played an educational role for future generations, and more importantly, it spread a broad vision.
What does an organization, enterprise, or even country rely on to maintain?
The author of “A Brief History of Mankind” Yuval said: “The company’s personnel and assets are all stripped away. This company still exists. Because people believe in common stories, the stories stipulated by legal provisions.” Enterprises have a common vision, and people believe the same story. Therefore, learning to tell stories is the key to improving our persuasion ability.
True communication masters can always reach people’s hearts in three words, and are better than ordinary people for half a day. Stories are essentially an ability to interpret reality. We can all become artists of language, and the works of outstanding artists are always so exciting.
At that time, Apple ’s Jobs hoped to dig Pepsi executive Scali to serve as the company ’s new CEO. Although Apple was well-known in the industry at that time, its profitability was still uncertain. At the time, Best Coca-Cola has developed into an international company.
At that time, Jobs successfully impressed Scali with only one sentence, allowing him to give up his future high-paying position and go to Apple to re-open the mountain. That sentence is: “Do you want to sell sugar water for life, or do you want to change the whole worldboundary? “
This case provides us with several ideas for telling good stories:
First of all, you must learn to portray your vision as a vivid picture;
Second, try to use the story to let the other party see the value of something;
Then, the story to be told must have a strong correlation with the values and cognitive systems of our communication objects. Only such stories can activate the psychological effect of empathy.
Finally, the higher level of storytelling is to reshape the audience’s perception of a thing. It doesn’t matter what it is, what people think it matters.
Remember these points, they must be useful when you want to convince others.
Fourth, the core of communication is not game,
Instead of open problem solving thinking
We always think that most interpersonal differences are irreconcilable, and the resolution of any major contradiction will inevitably be accompanied by compromise and sacrifice by one party.
Our perception of communication is common with the “zero-sum game” (zero-sum game) fallacy, which is a cutting-edge concept in the field of business negotiation.
The fallacy of the so-called zero-sum game means that during negotiations, both parties in the dialogue believe that if their opponents get more, it means they must get less. That is to say, all negotiations are a game where several competitors divide the cake of constant size. This is the way most people think of communication and negotiation, but it is far from the truth.
In fact, people with excellent communication skills have always been creative problem solvers, and should always consider how to create value when communicating. Especially important, how will you create value for each other?
If you want your employer to increase your salary, or you are letting the company you are negotiating to lower the price, or let your own employees work harder, then what are you going to do to convince them to agree to your needs?
Of course, you can choose to ask them to do so directly. This may sometimes work, but the person who is asked will usually “interpret” your request as follows, that is, they will pay an acceptable price to create value for you.
But few people willSo sensible and selfless, so the more likely consequence is that they can firmly believe that you essentially want to take advantage of them more.
Therefore, you really need to give them a suitable reason, so that they can clearly see how to help you achieve your demands to ensure what benefits they receive, and this is to create value.
If you want your boss to give you a salary increase, in this case, creating value usually means that you want to focus on reminding your employer that you have created extraordinary value for the company and it is worth the salary increase.
If you are trying to find a higher-paying job opportunity, at this point, you can communicate based on the value that others think you should have.
The highest level of communication is to clarify the real underlying needs of the other party through communication, and finally put forward a win-win solution with your open mind and reach a consensus with the other party. Prove to the other party the value you can get by cooperating with you. This is the most powerful persuasion.
Yes, we are not trying to “cut a bigger cake” for ourselves with words and a strong attitude, but choosing to make a “bigger cake” with our communication partners. Because of this, you will receive more, and more importantly, you will be able to make a new friend instead of an enemy.
An old saying is: “Listen to one’s words and read ten years of books.” Good communication not only allows you to go more smoothly and longer in the workplace, and sometimes it can even change a person’s fate. It is really necessary to spend some time learning communication.