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Every rich bachelor always wants to marry a wife.

Editor’s note: This article is from the WeChat public account “Ray Xiansen” (ID: RayZhang1993), author Ray Sir.

Speaking of investment, many people’s first reaction is to gain wealth and freedom through investment, and then live a happy life.

Actually, as far as I have observed and discovered, it is far more important and more reliable for professionals to invest in themselves and make professional progress than chasing the rise and fall in the stock market.

Of course, in addition to this, there is another investment that is at least as important or even more important than investing yourself:

Find a good spouse.

Don’t rush to say that you are a non-marriage activist, and don’t rush how good the bill of lading is. This article is also as I am about to enter the marriage palace, in order to express my superficial views and understanding of marriage .

A true soul mate,is in harmony with each other and is realistic

The well-known investor Buffett gave his own advice on choosing a spouse for his children:

First, find someone better than yourself, because in Buffett’s view, finding someone inferior to yourself is a lifetime trouble;

Secondly, marry yourself out while you are young.

Friends who pay attention to investment know Buffett, and he himself is indeed a master of risk control. He has always been an investment style before he wins, and he is also like this in marriage.

At the beginning of marriage, he had to consider what to do in case of divorce. In his opinion, finding someone with a lower income than his own, and dividing his property for future divorce, is really not a cost-effective thing.

Actually, there are many people around me who have not been fooled in choosing a spouse.

So, if you find a condition that is better than yourself, does it mean you can “walk to the pinnacle of life” and become a winner in life?

That’s not necessarily true.

In the United States, there is a marriage site called JDate, which is specially designed for Jews to find objects. Because the success rate is very high, and the satisfaction of the match is very high after the successful matching, some other ethnic users in the United States are also using it. It was once Think it is a very serious dating website.

Later, someone asked Joe Shapira, the founder of JDate, why his website was so successful?

Shapira said that both boys and girls have some unrealistic fantasies when looking for a spouse.

If you give a boy a score, such as 70 points, then according to his and JDate website statistics and research, boys generally want to find a girl with 95 points.

So here comes the first question:

Will a 95-point girl take care of this guy?

No, in fact, this situation is also very common in China.

If you still don’t understand, you might as well think about the previous paragraph “The pseudonym despise the boys who drive BBA”.

Then the second question comes again:

Will a girl with a score of 85~90 take care of him?

It’s possible, but will they be able to communicate successfully in the end? It’s impossible. Although this kind of exchange can start, it’s a waste of time and effort in the end.

Then the third question also comes:

For this 70-point boy, what is the approximate score of the girl who is likely to be matched after hard work?

Usually 60~80 points, Shapira said. In fact, his secret is very simple. On the JDate website, boys with 70 points will never see girls with 80 points or more.

In this case, the boy would think that a girl with 80 points is the most perfect person in the world.

Similarly, JDate treats girls the same way.

Because unnecessary fantasies were eliminated from the beginning, the matching on the JDate website made everyone feel particularly satisfied.

I remember that in the “fake socialite” incident some time ago, there were just a lot of peopleThink about it and pack yourself To become a “white rich and beautiful”, it is best to meet the rich second generation who is willing to pay for their beauty and youth.

But the real rich second generation, how many will not see this trick?

In this case, why not let go of your illusions and find a partner who fits in with you?

There is a good saying:

Love is just falling in love with another self, this other self is at the same level as yourself,

Only by paying attention to balance can it last forever.

About marriage:3 tips for boys

As time goes by, there are also many people of the same age who are already parents or ready to get married. Most of them have reached the stage of talking about marriage.

In them, I found a relatively similar situation, which I can summarize in one sentence:

True smart will appreciate smart people, and only smart people will appreciate smart people.

For a boy, especially a smart boy, it is much easier for him to impress a “beautiful and smart” girl than a “beautiful but not smart” girl.

But it’s hard to say whether a “beautiful but not smart” girl can follow a smart boy.

As for why, you can go to Zhihu and search for the question “Why are beautiful girls always with bad boys”.

Similarly, as far as I have observed and understood, boys who are quite self-sufficient will also suffer from this problem.

The boys who feel that they have a high degree of education, a small accomplishment in their work, and good financial conditions are always thinking:

I am somewhat shy in front of those smart and beautiful girls, but I am still very attractive to those beautiful girls who are in second or third college.

However, the result was not what they thought, because they didn’t take these conditions seriously.

So the first suggestion for boys here is:

• Instead of finding a beautiful girl, it’s better to find a smart girl

Don’t say anything else. For example, from the perspective of eugenics, the mother’s intelligence level has a greater impact on the child than the father. If you want your future child to be smarter, why not consider finding him a smarter mother?

Of course, besides being smart, the second piece of advice for boys here is:

• A girl’s own views on love and future family are also very important

Marriage is a matter for two people. If one person is immature, or the values ​​and cultural habits of the two people do not match at all, the marriage is difficult to last.

If your otherHalf, a girl who can never do without her own mother or family, then there will be more or less problems in the future marriage. This is just a matter of time.

After all, no one wants to be on the other side of Fan Shengmei, who cannot escape the harm of her native family.

In a perfect marriage, both parties must understand that the intimacy and importance of the relationship is in the order of “the couple takes precedence over the children, and more precedence over both parents”. If this priority can be recognized, there will be no such things as the following What happened:

Parents said to their children “I did not divorce your mother because of you”;

The children said to their parents “I would not marry each other unless it was for you.”

Many people in China believe that the union of two people is the union of the two families, and the boundary between Xiaojia and everyone is blurred, so that in the end, everyone in the family can give pointers to your marriage. Make irresponsible remarks.

Of course, if your significant other is a particularly assertive person, naturally you will not let you and her live in the opinions of others.

Finally, my third piece of advice to boys is:

• Find a malleable partner together

A person, especially when he is young, plasticity is very important.

Although many girls now like to put the phrase “love me, tolerate everything about me, including my shortcomings”, to be honest, don’t talk about boyfriends, I guess your parents will feel Uncomfortable.

Of course it’s okay to tolerate each other’s shortcomings, but one day or one year is fine, but if you want the other party to tolerate for a lifetime, I’m afraid the person who says this may not be able to do it.

A happy marriage should not mean that one party tolerates the other for a lifetime, because one person’s tolerance is always limited, and the advantage of being malleable is:

Although there were frictions in the beginning, and even defects in many aspects, such people will improve quickly, and it will be easy to run in, and it will be easier for the future.

Looking back, no matter how perfect the match is today, there will always be contradictions over time,

Be able to have a certain degree of flexibility, compromise with each other to solve problems, and adapt to each other, so that we can live long-term together.

About marriage:3 tips for girls

Any wealthy bachelor always wants to marry a wife. This has become a universalThe truth of confession.

In Jane Austen’s famous book “Pride and Prejudice”, she also expressed people’s views on marriage at the time.

But nowadays, most girls consider factors when they want to marry, but it is not just whether the other party has money or not.

I have also seen some emotional public accounts. The criteria for how to judge a good man can be described as “various” and everything. Just glance at the title and feel it is nonsense:

He loves you or not, it depends on whether he is willing to spend money on you!

A man who doesn’t even favor a woman deserves to be single for a lifetime!

He loves you as much as he spends money on you!

Anyway, it’s written back and forth that “men should give endlessly and unconditionally.” Women should fully accept and enjoy. If you continue to develop this way, you can finally see some politically correct emotional chicken soup. Those readers who don’t have much speculative ability.

Here, I also want to briefly talk about my 3 suggestions for girls to choose a spouse. Although I can’t help you find a beloved son-in-law, it would be a good thing if I can help you identify a scumbag.

The following is my first suggestion:

• To see whether a person treats himself well, first of all depends on his “view on marriage”

A good view of marriage consists of many aspects, but the indispensable ones are:

Does he agree that the relationship between husband and wife is more important than other relationships.

If you don’t understand this sentence, you might as well think about whether your boyfriend puts your needs and feelings first, instead of your needs after his parents, brothers, and sisters.

If he often struggles with this type of problem, or finds reasons from time to time to explain to you why his family is more important than you, then it is recommended to say “goodbye” to this kind of boy as soon as possible,

Because he will always have an excuse to make you the first sacrifice in the future.

Of course, a boy puts you first, and even for you, it’s just a standard for mate selection, so my second suggestion is:

• See if he has the ability to treat you tangibly

Most boys will paint a bright future, but many people are simply unable to achieve it. I have encountered many boys who keep showing their affection in the circle of friends, and look at it after a short period of time. I can’t see anything that I deleted.

The reason why many people are unable to achieve this ability does not refer to the other party’s current economic strength. It is all stock and can be spent soon, but it depends on how much he has the ability to create the future..

For example, he may be willing to spend money on you today, but he can spend money on other girls tomorrow as well. This is a measure of uncertainty.

How do you see his incremental space?

Why do you ask more questions and see what he and you are doing outside of time? Even his planning for future career development, the establishment and management of life goals, and the quality of his social network and friendships are all criteria that can be used to judge whether a person has room for development.

• If you have been lucky enough to find the person you like, then hold him firmly

If you have solved the first two problems smoothly, then congratulations on reaching the last level, which is my last suggestion to you:

If a girl is lucky enough to find someone who is good to herself with actions and has the ability to treat herself better in the future, please hold him firmly.

In the past few years, I have also seen many very good female friends around me, who have been picking and choosing, no matter what kind of boys, they always have unsatisfactory places:

A good-looking person is afraid that he will be bothered after marriage;

Honestly, I don’t have a sense of humor;

Those who don’t make money can’t afford to support themselves;

Those who will make money are worried that the other party will be bad;

Sometimes, we often say that a flower is planted on the cow dung, but it is because many girls have too many boys around her, and in the end they didn’t have enough judgment, so that they chose one very poorly. On the other side.

Sometimes, someone who has been making choices may not be a good thing, because someone always wants a better one,

As everyone knows, the right is the best.

Write at the end:

Financial tycoon John Morgan once shared a view:

“Once your marriage is invested properly, your career will also reach its peak. If you treat marriage as a child’s play and make a hasty decision, the penalty will be divorce, mental pain, and a sharp drop in your savings. “

Morgan’s remarks were made to his son, but they also apply to young people who are facing marital problems today.

Isn’t marriage a venture capital and asset allocation?

Someone can see gold, and some lose all games. If someone can get married, someone will get divorced halfway.

I hope you who read this article:

You can also continue to improve your own value by both internal and external training, until you meet the soul mate who has the same strength as you.