“Posted the experience of failed interviews in the circle of friends, got 100+ praises” How does the ugly effect help you?
Editor’s note: This article from the micro-channel public number “LinkedIn” (ID: LinkedIn-China) , of: Eric Shen Wencai.
A few days ago, LinkedIn expert Eric Shen Wencai shared on LinkedIn a story that happened to him many years ago:
“In order to overcome stage fright, I tried very hard to get the opportunity to perform on stage.
When I was a student of the Engineering Department of the National University of Singapore, I once asked Peter, the choreographer of a dance company, to allow me to join his dance company.
He knew I had no experience, and he hesitated for a while and asked,’Can you dance? ‘
‘I’m not very good at it, but as long as I have a chance to stand on the stage, I’ll be content to stand at the back. ‘
‘Then are you willing to hold an umbrella? ’
‘You let me do everything. ’
‘Okay, you are welcome! ’
Despite the countless rehearsals, on the day of the actual performance, my heart was still beating wildly and I could barely breathe.
I think there must be a better way to overcome my stage fright!
That’s why I wore sunglasses and went on stage????
That night was the first step I took to overcome stage fright.
Since then, it took me 10 years to be able to play freely on stage.
I chose to share this embarrassing thing on social media because when we share failures or weaknesses, there are some unexpected benefits. “
The ugly effect, not only applies to individuals
Although Eric’s story is an example, in fact, experts have already studied this aspect.
The best explanation for this view is the ugly effect (Pratfall effect), which was first proposed by the social psychologist Elliot Aronson.
This effect means that when a strong person shows his weakness, he will become more popular. (People with poor ability show their weaknesses, they may make themselves look stupid, use it with caution!)
Ireson’s experiment to confirm this effect was to record the process of an actor answering a series of questions and give it to the audience to judge.
In the first phase of the experiment, he asked the actors to participate in a test. The actor answered 92% of the questions correctly and got a high score.
After the quiz, the actor pretended to spill a cup of coffee on himself (a small mistake).
This recording was then played to a large number of students, and then asked how cute the players were.
It is worth noting that Aronson divided the students into two units and played different versions for them: one containing the scene of the last sprinkling of coffee on him, and one not.
The final result was as expected by the ugly effect—the students thought the contestant with the spilled coffee was more pleasing.
Many examples in our lives have also proved the existence of this effect.
People who have the courage to admit their previous faults and shortcomings during a job interview have a higher chance of being admitted.
A person who is willing to expose his past mistakes to the other half is considered more trustworthy.
……
At the Oscars ceremony in 2014, the “big cousin” Jennifer Lawrence accidentally fell while on stage to accept the award. In such a grand ceremony, there shouldn’t have been such an “accident”.
But the subsequent public opinions and mainstream media did not accuse her of this small mistake. On the contrary, because of this fall, she was regarded as cute and easy to approach.
The ugly effect is not limited to individuals. Teams and companies are all within the scope of this effect.
Haidilao is definitely one of the companies that applies it best.
When the epidemic was first brought under control in China, the catering industry reopened, and many restaurants increased their prices in order to recoup their losses in the previous months.
Haidilao has also increased its prices, but as a large company, it bears the brunt of the price increase.
Without extra words and explanations, Haidilao responded and apologized as quickly as possible, and said that it would lower the price to the price before the epidemic.
Such a move won the favor of many people at once. (Is it reasonable to suspect that it is a marketing strategy?)
In fact, before that, they had tried this sincere apology long ago.
In 2011, Haidilao fell into a crisis of public opinion. An article “Reporter’s Undercover “Haidilao” Revealed” pointed out that it had problems such as bone broth blending, unweighed products, and stealing food.
After Haidilao’s official website and official Wechat posted an explanation, Haidilao Chairman Zhang Yong also posted a separate article in his own name Weibo established Haidilao’s PR FLAG.
If you want to find examples in recent public opinion-in Tencent and Laoganma In the incident, a company as large as Tencent was Individuals cheated, and used improper means to freeze the account of Lao Ganma, once became the object of ridicule by the crowd.
The resolution of this crisis was through shaping the image of “the penguin who ate fake chili sauce” and proactively confessing his carelessness and mistakes.
A soft server, who would be more serious with you?
Share your failures, The premise is to accept imperfections
I have similar experience.
From July 2018 to June 2019, I almost disappeared from the circle of friends. When I am preparing for the exam, my daily life is limited to the dormitory and library.
The moment I received the interview notice, it seemed that I regained my own life (and immediately posted enough of the circles of friends that have not been updated!).
But I still lost in the interview.
I don’t know how to tell everyone that I didn’t pass the exam, because I was afraid of becoming a loser in their eyes.
In this way, I lost my motivation to share again and did not post to Moments for a few weeks.
Friends will Come and ask the result of my interview. I don’t know how to respond. Because even I myself have not accepted this result.
A good friend did not know where to get the news, and came to Shanghai during the holiday to come to see me.
At the dinner table, I knew he was to comfort me, but I have been deliberately avoiding talking about it.
Finally, he insisted on bringing the chat to this topic. I can’t escape.
On that day, I talked to him about the frustration and loss accumulated throughout the night and the year, and he listened silently. Whenever I said a problem with him, he would sing the opposite of my list. An advantage.
Accepting failure is always painful and long, but at least from the moment I shared it with him, I slowly began to accept it.
Early the next morning, I posted to Moments and told everyone that I did not pass the exam.
As a result, the reply from the circle of friends almost brought tears to my eyes.
“Come on, I always feel that you are a particularly hard-working and outstanding person. Every time I see your circle of friends, I feel encouraged!”
“I understand! But you are really great, and there will be a chance in the future!”
This is the first time I have opened my heart to share my failure, and it made me extremely calm.
Let go of the previous burden, and finally can move on without any distractions.
Share your own imperfections, There are six major benefits
Shen Wencai summed up six major benefits of sharing one’s imperfections:
1. People are therefore more willing to share their failures and weaknesses.
Each of us is in In life are under tremendous pressure, hoping to show themselves on social media The best side.
But life is not like we show, it is full of ups and downsFalling…
Share failures or each other’s weaknesses, each of us no longer has to pretend to be perfect, okay?
2. You become more approachable.
When you show your weaknesses or failures, you become more lovely.
One time, a friend told me that he was afraid of his wife, and I suddenly thought he became cute! (Maybe because I am also afraid of my wife, haha).
3. You begin to accept yourself.
Sharing failures or weaknesses means that you accept the imperfect part of yourself.
You must accept your imperfections or try to change them. Denial is the worst option.
4. You will become real.
When you become real, it is easier to gain trust, and trust is the most precious thing in a person’s career development and interpersonal relationship.
Some time ago, I contacted a lecturer Chris Mattia on LinkedIn and asked a few questions about what he taught.
He saw that I mentioned in the self-introduction in the LinkedIn profile that I was rejected by the Princeton PhD and turned to the banking industry. He quickly trusted me.
Screenshot from Eric Shen Wencai’s self-introduction on LinkedIn profile
So although others are in Los Angeles and I am in Singapore, we have never met, but in the past five months we have worked on several audio and video projects.
5. You will stand out.
Since most people only share the best parts of their lives on social media, sharing failures or weaknesses will make you more unique.
As long as you don’t overdo it, you’ll be impressed.
6. Your friends will cheer for you.
The weakness of human nature is that if you are too perfect, some people will envy you, and some people will envy you.
But as long as you share a failure or weakness, people will sympathize with you and maybe help you out!
If you don’t believe me, you can try to get on LinkedIn.please help you inside, or help If you answer questions and answer questions, you will get more likes and interactions than sending beautiful photos on vacation.
Of course, starting with a small shortcoming, this kind of sharing will not make you resist.
Soon, I believe you will fall in love with sharing your imperfections.