It is important to remember that people like to talk about themselves.
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Editor’s note: This article is translated from medium, article author Michael Thompson, original title 21 Conversation Starters That Will Help You Build More Successful Relationships.
Picture: Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
The paradox of charm is that it doesn’t make you feel good, but makes others feel good.
——Brett McKay, The Art of Manliness
When you meet new people in your life or work, those who are good at communicating with others have a goal – to continue to advance this relationship.
Those who are good at communicating with others can grasp the basic experience that people prefer to talk about themselves in communication.
They will take advantage of this and ask a question that will allow these people to open their voices, and then advance the dialogue one inch at a time until the two parties generate interest and eventually build trust, thus providing an opportunity for the next conversation.
As mentioned above, building relationships is not just about showing you what good qualities you have, but about giving others the opportunity to show your good qualities (this is the best quality).
The questions I have listed below to open the scorpion are to give you some help – so you can reduce unnecessary nonsense, go to the topic efficiently and purposefully, and get to know more Interesting people (as long as you ask the right questions, everyone can do it) and build more win-win relationships.
The following questions may make you feel cheesy, and some may be right, so find a few questions that you think can help you and turn them into your own magic weapon.
Reorganize dull questions into interesting questions
For a long time, I always thought that I’m holding a fewThe hat of a big-name magazine contributor is the coolest point in my writing career. Then I realized that influential people are more likely to talk to me. But until recently I realized the true power of writing: that is, I have the right to talk to anyone.
Now, I can change the style of the question from “Sorry to bother you, mind if I ask you a question?” Turned into “Hey, guys, bother me, I am writing an article in the past few Everyone I met in the week was asked this question by me…”
But actually, whether you are a writer or not, “Everyone I met in the past few weeks has been asked this question by me…” This expression is equally valid. It makes people interested in what you are about to say, and it is much better than asking others directly, “What are you doing?”
I personally like life and career advice, so the following questions are also my own style, you can also develop your own problems based on this.
1. Can you give me some advice for a fresh graduate?
2. What is the most useful experience you have learned from your enemies?
3. What did you learn from your mentor?
4. Who do you think is the best boss you have encountered, and why?
5. What books would you recommend to people who have just stepped into the workplace and society?
6. Do you have a favorite speech? If you have the opportunity to make a speech (can be any topic), what would you say?
7. As a family entrepreneur, I find it difficult to isolate from the outside world after work. Do you have any thoughts on how to effectively protect your time after work?
8. What do you think are the skills most needed in the next five to ten years?
9. Is it a good or bad suggestion to follow your passion?
10. I just got married, what advice do you have to keep my wife smiling?
11. If you don’t need to sleep, how would you spend an extra 8 hours a day?
12. What is the difference between your current job and the work you want to do when you were young?
All of the above questions work well under all circumstances, and all of these questions allow the respondent to answer a lot of things – so that you still can’t continue the conversation? These questions can open up people, talk about the lessons they have learned, and at the same time demonstrate the ability of the talkers and their values to be consistent with your values, which is much better than the one-of-a-kind opening statement.
Speaking of group occasions, if you are not used to being the focus of attention (although the above questions are useful for introverts, because you can shut up after asking questions, just listen to others) ), or you are very shy, likeSpeak with others alone, try to praise others in the conversation, plus a little guess.
You can go to those who want to chat and ask:
13. As a person who is good at getting along with others, is it accidental that you are engaged in sales work?
14. Are you a coach?
Or you can ask directly in a guess:
15. You are really funny, are you a comedian?
Communicate with “guess”
The next time you meet someone you want to know, don’t hold back to ask people “Where are you from?” or “What are you doing?” You should try to change one. Ways:
16. Where are you from? Slow, don’t tell me, let me guess.
17. What are you doing? No, no, don’t worry, give me a hint, let me guess.
This simple technique makes conversations easy and makes the conversation process interesting.
In addition to this, you can ask:
In a social setting
18. If you are not coming to the party tonight, what are you doing on Tuesday night?
(Is it more interesting? If someone comes directly to ask you, “What do you usually like to do as a pastime?” It sounds a bit strange and awkward.)
19. We have not met, but I believe we have some friends in common.
20. I only stay in this city for a few days. Do you have any unusual suggestions?
21. How do you know the master? (Although this is a very simple question, it provides a lot of help for opening the dice.)
These issues, though different, need to be adapted to the content and environment of the conversation, but they can open up people, understand themselves, and give them a chance to show their personality and talk about things that are important to them.
As I said in the introduction, people like to talk about themselves. So you can take advantage of this experience and make communication easier. Therefore, it is best to ask a question that will keep them lingering.
Once you have successfully established a new relationship with others, the next step is to advance these relationships.
Translator: Xi Tang