This article is from the public number:Gu Yu Lab – Tencent News (ID: guyulab), author: Zhang Rui, editor: Lin Shanshan, title figure from: vision China
This group of parents is constantly looking for an export for the erotic desire of autistic sons. It is about that even the most lonely people are eager to be intimate, but the reach of people is separated by the norms of society as a whole. This is an unsolved problem.
Peep
The following report is based on a father-son story I heard about a father who, when he discovered that his autistic son had adulthood and desire to be loved, how to do his best. As far as autism is concerned, I don’t know much about it. We call them “children from the stars”. One parent, however, said that there are two views on the autistic society, one is equivalent to a fool and the other is a mental illness. As a writer, we naturally like drama, or extremely amazing. When I first heard this story, I was attracted by the great tension. There were father and son affection, human dignity, unsolvable loneliness, and a dangerous atmosphere, which was on the verge of a more conservative moral society. I then contacted the father and hoped to meet him. To be honest, I didn’t have much hope. But what surprised me was that the father said, come on, thank you for caring about these children.
2019 World Autism Concern Day, “Lighting the Blue Global Charity Run” Event
The first time I met was in Tianjin, he came here on a business trip. When I walked into the room, I heard the people around him calling him W. W is 51 years old. When he stood up, I noticed that his shoulder was low and right, and the left leg in the trousers was obviously thinner than the right leg. He is also a disabled person.
“I had polio when I was a child.” W invited me to sit down and order a cigarette. His cigarette addiction is very big, the ashtray on the table is full of cigarette butts, and his voice is a little hoarse. “Today I am really telling you, I don’t want you, just say it.”
This is of course in line with me. As we all know, the frankness of the respondents is very important for writers like us. In my limited interviewing career, I have met many interviewees. Some of them are out of vanity, some are out of fear, they pretend to tell, and the story loses charm. This is of course their right, and it takes a lot of courage to reveal the truth, because there are the most precious and most vulnerable parts of our lives – I ask him to continue.
He said that it all came from a rainy day. He hid in the extinguished car and peered at the move of his son outside the car. The son was a hundred meters away from him, standing on the bus stop, and the rain line splashed small flowers at his feet. The latter remembered his license plate number, so the car was borrowed. He knows that his son is waiting for a 603 bus, but 603 has come a lot, and his son is still standing in the same place (The son has the same as him Thick eyebrows). The son is one meter and seventy feet tall and weighs one hundred and ninety kilograms. He stays still in the crowd and has some eyes. This is four hours. Sometimes he admire this guy, seriously like a lighted train driving into the tunnel – with the focus beyond the ordinary people, the book says so, he thought, one by one smoking . Another 603 came, sighing and stopping the car. He saw him stepping on. The driver was a woman with long hair. The son lowered his head and chose a position close to her. When the bus drove off, he knew that his son would sit there all the time. The female driver will not care about his silent son, but they will pass through the bustling land of the city, the railway station, the civic plaza, the clock tower and the ancient tower, and they will roam silently until the female driver delivers the shift. – Every day, waiting in the field, not tired, like a stupid thing done by a crush.
W said that he thought he had nothing to do. He has a big career, just the property left in his son’s name, it is enough for him to live for three lifetimes, but at that moment, he only feels helpless, and his heart is like a knife. If the lust is a promised candy, then he is the son of autism.I finally came to this step. Beyond loneliness, he also likes women, but who would like him?
“Do you want to play with your son?” The friends laughed after hearing about it.
“He is also a human. He is also a human.” He repeated this sentence in anger, and his heart was upset.
W seems to have returned to the summer of many years ago. He was sitting in the waiting room of Beijing West Railway Station with his two-year-old son. His mind was blank and he was at a shameful level. The son was diagnosed with autism on this day. They came from afar. The best doctors in the country sentenced him to the death sentence. Since then, he hated Beijing.
“I am a disabled person, my son is still a disabled person.” He felt himself crushed. He understood the pain of the disabled. When he was young, he carried a brick in his bag. Those who teased him and shoved him. You waited. He didn’t mind giving them a nap from behind. He fights destiny in a tough way, not only not admitting inferiority, but also doing better than everyone else. As the son of a university professor, he opened a game hall, sold wine, and went to the hospital contracting department. His determination to rebel against him coincided with the arrival of a money age, he made money, and then more and more money. . He never interacts with people with disabilities, and he is confident that he has nothing in common with them. But the inner tension still exists. On the highway, he can’t tolerate any car over himself. For this reason, a Cadillac is on the bar. “My car smashes to 240” until the spine is sore and cold. Shower, victory.
So you can understand that he once tried to make his son become a “normal person.” Sometimes he succeeds, and autism is always beyond the understanding of ordinary people. In the 1990s, when his son heard “Love of the Fierce”, he was going to panic, yelling, and he slammed him in a chair with the dignity of a father, and circulated the song in his son’s punch and kick until both of them were exhausted. Do it. Sometimes he failed. He sent him to the best elementary school in the province. The son can remember what he had done on a certain day many years ago. He can remember the phone number that he said casually, but he is not a so-called “genius”. He has no friends, no one cares, people look at him like a fool. He thought, go to fucking, and take his son back home.
When his son was seven years old, he took him on the way to seek medical attention. His legs are not good, hehe! Suddenly fell. A few roadside kids pointed at him and laughed – he was used to it.
It’s his autistic son who has been silent, and his face is twisted. “Laughing your mom*, rolling!”.
At that moment, W mixed feelings, of course, swearing is not good, but his son protected him.
“I am a disabled person. I know that people who need it most are not sympathy, not compassion, but a kind of dignity.” W has been with his son for 27 years, and he vowed to use his tough means to get his son to get these. . He took him to see friends, see partners, and see subordinates, regardless of whether the other party is willing or not – he is the boss. He wants everyone to ignore the existence of his son and to insulate him from the ridicule, contempt, and cold eyes he has experienced. He has enough money to give his son a rich life, including a Shaolin Temple bodyguard. Before his son is an adult, wherever he goes, the bodyguard will follow where to see who dares to bully him… He is different from the child’s mother, she is University work, until now, still do not want colleagues to know the existence of his son, he scorned this, “that circle is really stinky.”
But now, W feels a huge crisis, “Who would like an autism?” This is no longer something he can control. If we are willing to admit it, in the life of a person, part of the “self-affirmation” comes from, even from love. And in front of his son, there will be endless frustration and helplessness.
Adult Gift
“Emotions are not extravagant to normal people.” W smothered the smoke and looked at me and said, “In fact, many normal people have squandered, but it is precisely what we can’t get for a lifetime.”
W saw how the 27-year-old son showed off to the girl in a clumsy way, used a pocket money to send a popsicle to buy a drink, asked her to play with her, or carefully applied to touch their hair. He doesn’t know how to swear, but it’s all about children. He got to the girl, but he didn’t chat. “If you say two sentences, you will run off the question.” When you don’t get any response, he will stand up and watch people laugh. The friendly and daring girl will be ignorant, or Children, if they are timid, they will run away.
But this does not prevent him from attaching to them in his heart, such as a girl selling pancake fruit, working in the vegetable market a few hundred meters away from home. For a year, my son went to see her every day, but it was far away. Not afraid to approach