This article is from the WeChat public account: You-Tencent News (ipress ) , author: Yeke Fei, from FIG title: “small joy” stills
Facing the rapidly changing era, the writer Mai Jia said in the “Starry Sky Speech” produced by Tencent News Lichun Studio: “When the world becomes new and fast, I will be an old person. , Slow people, unchanging people, dedicated to ideals. When everyone is rushing all the way forward, I will stand alone to avoid being swept away by the torrent of the times; when everything is dazzling At that time, I will settle in a corner and fight lonely alone. “
How easy is it to do this? The Mai family also admits that they were lost because “in this era of worship speed, worship desire … we are obsessed with speed, but we have lost many valuable constants and axioms of life, the true feelings have been replaced by false intentions, and the axioms have been subverted by utilitarianism.
The process of correcting yourself is long and painful, but Mai said: “There are so many lives in the world, you can start again if you make mistakes.”
This is a powerful expression in itself, but it is very, very difficult for anxious middle-aged people to do it. What is more frightening is that most middle-aged people who are obsessed with speed do not have the chance to achieve the success in the eyes of the world. This often makes them more anxious. They are eager to get rich overnight in their careers. They ca n’t help educating their children. On the way to black.
Middle-aged people who have suffered from Chinese-style families have chosen to make it worse
Most Chinese people in their 30s and 40s have grown up in the same family environment: no matter what the economic conditions are, it is difficult to get rid of the control of parents based on the Chinese-style family relationship model. All kinds ofReasonable, such as “Don’t fall in love early while studying, it is best to get married and have children immediately after graduation.”
Because of this, countless people of the same age have made great ambitions: “After we become parents, we must not be like our parents.” But few people will escape that “ultimate rule of life”-becoming the one who once Dislike look. For example, when I was young, I could n’t accept my parents to talk hard and scold, but when I got along with my children, I found that I did n’t have the experience and ability to speak well since childhood.
Also, it’s different from the good imagination of many people. For the current generation of middle-aged people, letting children “grow up happily” is basically the idyllic pastoral songs in the fantasy, and there is no room for practical operation at all. Facing the rapid changes of the times, the frequent ups and downs of the industry, the children’s education and arms race, the potential pressure of an aging society on the one-child generation, and the extreme anxiety, they may even prefer to control their children’s lives than their parents. Even if they are not obsessed with the so-called speed, it is difficult not to be shackled by the speed of the times, and they will be given to children under the banner of “for your good”.
This kind of planning often carries a sense of urgency, choosing schools for children, choosing interest classes, and the infamous math and tuition classes. Many people will make everything utilitarian, read only useful books, and only learn the advantages that are conducive to further studies. Even the exam-oriented education that our generation has experienced is actually not as utilitarian as it is today.
Of course, planning life for your children is nothing new. Chinese families have always emphasized experience. “Listening to people’s full meals” and “I have eaten more salt than you have eaten.” Both of us have heard big words since childhood, and many of our peers have gone from childhood to age. Parents arranged the road. But the question is, will our children be as organized and obedient as we were then? Do middle-aged people of our generation really have the ability to plan their children’s future?
The middle-aged generation of ours has almost lost the right to speak bonus period
What is growth? In accordance with the inherent thinking of Chinese society, the words of starting a family, starting a business, and dealing with others are inseparable. But in the Western worldview, from early Greek mythology to real education, the word growth is often equated with subversion of patriarchy. Of course, in traditional Chinese society, this behavior is considered “rebellious.”
But from the history of human evolution, the reason why society has progressed is often because the next generation does not listen to the previous generation, not vice versa. Each generation will grow old and witness its step by step loss of right to speak. In order to defend the right to speak, they will tell you “listen to persuasion and eat well”, and will deliberately emphasize the role of experience. But the development of society obviously does not agree with this kind of statement, and every progress means subversion of the past.
This is a cliché. According to the past, middle-aged people like me, in their 30s and 40s, are a good time to master the right to speak. Just enjoy the bonus, and then wait until they get old. “I have eaten more salt than you have eaten.”
But in this era of large-scale collapse of experience, this life path has also changed. When our generation is worrying about children’s educational arms race, parental aging, and middle-aged crisis, we will encounter a new problem: we no longer have everything in our eyes.
In human history, “experience” has never been more important. At that time, the radius of human life was small, and many people had never left their villages in their lives. The composition of human society’s relations is very simple, limited to clans and neighbours. Poor information. Without newspapers, TV stations and the Internet, people can only rely on their mouths.