This article is from WeChat official account:create (ID: xingshu100), Narration: Su Yanjie, text: Liz, source of head picture: “Thirty Only”
I remember some time ago, a parent said to me: “My daughter is four and a half years old. She is more naughty than boys.”
We can hear that she felt that girls shouldn’t be so naughty after comparing them with boys. It can be seen that gender exists in contrast in life, and when we talk about women, it must be relative to men.
Gender differences are shaped by society and culture
In psychology, women and men are a classification of sex and gender.
If we talk about sex or the difference in sex, it is usually from a biological point of view. For example, if males have XY chromosomes and females have XX chromosomes, different hormones will be produced correspondingly, thus shaping our different physiological and psychological characteristics.
From the perspective of intelligence, there is no distinction between women and men, but they have different characteristics during development. For example, women’s language development is earlier than men’s, and their ability to speak and other aspects matures earlier than men. Men have relatively high levels of male hormones and may be more aggressive. But the sociality of the two is not much different.
Gender differences in mental behavior
In this regard, we should consider from three levels:
The first layer, the commonality of human beings. As biological humans, we all have something in common.
The second level, the differences between groups. For example, the individuals in the male group are more similar, but there will be some differences between him and the female group in general.
The third layer, individual differences. Every individual is different.
The difference between genders is not only based on biological nature, it is often shaped by society and culture. This kind of shaping makes us individuals have some identification with gender, such as: I think I am a male, or I think I am a female, whether I accept my gender.
Gender identity and gender stereotypes
In this acceptance process, there is such a development sequence:
• In the preschool stage, we may only have concepts about the labels of our biological characteristics, such as I am a boy or a girl.
• When we are about 5~7 years old, we have an expectation of gender, saying that boys should do this and girls should do that. At this moment, the impression of stereotypes has begun to form, especially around the age of 6, we are particularly rigid before going to school, and there is no possibility of flexible performance.
• After reaching the age of 8, the resources and information we receive when we grow up are richer, and we will become more flexible with it, and we begin to understand that there are similarities between men and women.
The balance between work and family seems to be a natural contradiction for women
Seeing the words in the table above, do you thinkWhich ones are used to describe men? Which ones are used to describe women? You may think that certain words are particularly suitable for describing men, and certain words are more suitable for describing women. This idea is actually a stereotype. Our attitudes towards different genders are gradually taking shape.
For example, we feel that women should be good mothers, and they should take on such a particularly important role in the family. Men may be in charge of major issues, and they often say: “I don’t care about other things, but I am in charge of national issues.” Therefore, we have expectations for individuals of each gender and will have corresponding attitudes.
Men rarely face conflicts between work and childbirth, but this problem has become a problem for most women. Because women have three special periods: menstruation, pregnancy, and lactation.
So, when we went to see some interviews with successful men, few people would ask: How do you balance work and family? But if you are a woman, this problem seems to be inevitable, and family and career seem to be a natural contradiction.
There was a sensation before. Yang Liping was very successful. Everyone thought she was great. She danced very well and made great achievements. But some people will say: Her biggest failure is not having her own children. This is an obvious stereotype that women should have children, but has anyone ever thought about whether a man raises children? It seems not.
In life, I will also tell you that full-time mothers have contributed a lot, but what is your image in the minds of children?
One of our own research shows that once a child enters elementary school, if you are still a full-time mother, your status in the child’s heart will decline. So we say that you must have yourself and live out yourself, otherwise, the role of mother will not save you.
Invisible, gender stereotypes have been rooted in our ideas
As IAs we mentioned earlier, due to the different biological functions of men and women, our mental performance is different.
For example, when arguing, men’s brains are usually only active in local areas, so he points to the question: Who caused this? How can I solve it?
But women have both brains active, so if they think more, she will think: What’s the matter? Why are you talking like this? Why are you doing this to me? Do you not love me anymore?
The characteristics of men and women are more obvious in life. For example, we often see girls crying while watching Korean dramas, boys will persuade her to say: “Don’t be sad, it’s a TV show.” But if the team that boys like loses, that kind of frustration It’s hard for girls to understand their mood, and they will say: “It’s just a ball game.”
Actually, this socialization process has a great impact on us. There is an experiment in psychology:
Dad waited for the mother to come out at the door of the delivery room. If we tell him that your wife gave you a princess, describe the little princess. He would say: cute, petite, beautiful…
If we say that your wife gave you a big fat boy, describe this son, and my dad will say: strong, crying loudly…
Actually, Dad didn’t see his children at all, but he would describe them in every respect with our expectations of a boy or girl. Therefore, in life, the toys and clothes of different colors we buy for children come from the social environment.
Of course, after we go to school, the teacher will also say that girls should not be so noisy, which shows that teachers will also have different expectations for boys and girls.
Our media portrays men and women differently.
I don’t know if you have seen a very old advertisement. The protagonist is the actor Pu Cunxin. He said: A successful man has a pager, a mobile phone, and a business communication. But there is a female character next to him, the wife who pours him coffee.
It can be seen that the performance of the media has also shaped different expectations. These social environments have shaped us, making us the men and women that people expect.
Then, whether this gender stereotype or stereotype, it affects us in terms of our appearance, our personality, our role, what kind of occupation we should be in, etc.
There are also gender representations in language. For example, when it comes to scientists, everyone thinks they should be male, so if we say female scientists, we must add the word female; if we say nurses, we should be female, so When we talk about male nurses, we must add a male character and we must emphasize it.
Maybe even gifts for babies are treated differently based on gender. If it is a girl, I may give a doll; if it is a boy, I may give a toy gun or a car model. Our research found that the colors and activities displayed on the birth cards of babies of different genders are different. Therefore, this kind of socialization is everywhere.
Whether it is a TV show or some film and television works, what occupation do the male and female roles do, their age group, success or failure, family and career, which is the focus of their lives? After careful observation, you will find the difference. These gender media representations have a great influence on our career choices and success expectations.
Fear of success hinders women’s career development
Girls are particularly afraid of success, which is called “fear of success” in psychology.
If we now give a person’s information: This person has made great achievements in his freshman year, and he has done very well in his studies and club activities. Let everyone write a paragraph of text based on this information, then the person’s name will be masculine and feminine, and the effect will be different. Because in most people’s minds, there is a gender framework, and because of the gender difference in names, our thinking paths have changed.
If it is a feminine name, we will feel that this may be luck, and the attribution of success is different. In this process, women will feel that we don’t have to work so hard and we don’t need to be so prominent in this aspect. Gradually, there will be a fear of success. This has a different and very big impact on our perception of efficacy and self-confidence.
During the freshman year, if we ask boys: Do you think your performance is similar, medium, or better or worse than medium? This graph shows the proportion of answers that are better than moderate. Whether in terms of our academic performance, competence, or our emotional stability, men are higher than women.
If we tell the subjects that this test is different for men and women, it may be easier for men. So, his results are like the picture below:
What do you mean? That is to say, boys’ scores will be significantly higher than girls, but if you tell them that this test is actually the same for both sexes and there is no difference, then their scores will not be so different. Therefore, it can be seen how much anticipation affects people.
In fact, we live in such an expectant society from the moment we were born. Therefore, women often feel that they are inferior to men. Some of the professions we choose may have limited channels to rise. We have chosen some professions that may not be able to fully utilize our personal characteristics and expertise.
How can women break through their role expectations and develop themselves?
So, how can we help these women?
First of all, I think it is particularly important to not set limits. We will not say that we cannot do this because we are women. It is about whether my ability can be achieved, whether I like this kind of work, or whether I like this kind of profession.
Because society has a lot of expectations for women’s roles, such as being a good housewife and a good mother. Professional women who experience role pressure are far higher than professional men. A lot of expectations will bring us a lot of pressure and some stress responses. So, how should we deal with it?
We can relieve our pressure in two ways:
On the one hand, we as individuals. To change our awareness of our own responsibilities is whether I can bear so many roles. You must do such an assessment, in fact you don’t have to ask yourself to be perfect in all aspects.
Of course, there are some time management strategies, which are the most important, the most urgent, and those that are not important, we can put them aside.
The most important thing is that we must have our own beliefs and understanding. If stress has an impact on you, especially a negative impact, you often regard it as a danger, and it will cause you harm.
Research by Harvard psychologists shows that if you think it is a challenge, then its negative impact on you will not be so great. In turn, it may stimulate your potential in all aspects.
There is an enhancement theory in psychology, that is to say, in fact, multiple roles of women may be beneficial. We may not be so satisfactory in one role, but we can make up for it in another role. This is the benefit of multiple roles. And we can have various balances, and the sense of accomplishment will increase.
Of course, we also need social support and organizations to help us. For example, Peking University once did a study: pregnancy and breastfeeding may bring some lag to female scientists or scientific workers. Therefore, when we are planning the fund application conditions, the age limit for women is different from that for men. We will give women more time and help her complete multiple roles.
In addition, postpartum depression is also common today. Studies have found that in the coping with postpartum depression, if the husband can understand, the impact on women will be greatly reduced. Therefore, support from family members is also very important.
In short, in the process of self-development, women should give themselves a broader perspective and don’t set limits on themselves. To develop and achieve yourself is not as a woman, but first as an individual.
Thanks to the Shanghai Women and Children’s Work Committee and the Shanghai Women’s Federation for their strong support and guidance for this conference.
This article is from WeChat official account:Creation (ID: xingshu100), talk about: Su Yanjie (Peking University Doctoral Supervisor, School of Psychology and Cognitive Sciences), text: Liz